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INTJ and ESFP Relationships

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
What do you think about relationships between INTJs and ESFPs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
- Why are they attracted to each other?
- How to they compliment each other?
- How well do they understand each other and why?
- What are they like together raising children?

When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
- How can they take each other for granted?
- What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
- What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
- What advice do you have for each of the two types?
- If you are an INTJ, what advice do you have for the ESFPs?
- If you are an ESFP, what advice do you have for the INTJs?
 

great_bay

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
987
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
541
So nobody wants to give insights on their conflict relation?
 

BadOctopus

Suave y Fuerte
Joined
Oct 9, 2014
Messages
3,232
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
tumblr_mgxvubYR5W1rm2fyro1_500.jpg


(Pretty sure Charles is an ISTJ, but I think this picture still sums up the relationship nicely.)
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
If the INTJ here is Ni-Te and the ESFP here is Se-Fi, then no, it's not a conflict relation. It's actually duality. The ideal.
 
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
1,447
MBTI Type
*NF*
Enneagram
852
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hello the rational ones :D !

Well I can speak a bit about INTJ. It is my shadow type and it seems I use logic quite well in my every day life_ I seem to be married to common sense.

I never dated an INTJ but I had colleagues and family INTJ. We can talk for hours. The problem with me is that they lack Fi so I'll appreciate their ideas and can talk for hours with them,

but I'm not interested into intimacy with them. Opposite attracts so here you have the answer now !

I've never heard any compliment from an INTJ about my look or even a frank compliment about my qualities.

It has happened at work only and those were shy compliments (they are soooooooo mean :doh:) !


- If you are an ESFP, what advice do you have for the INTJs?

I'm not gonna bite you so...let's work on your body language now :harhar:

Try to compliment your ESFP, when you feel like it with authentic words and cuddles (you'll win many points there too)

Get in touch with your inner child :thelook::cop:
:hardatwork::bunnyglee::saturned::unicorn:
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
Hello the rational ones :D !

Well I can speak a bit about INTJ. It is my shadow type and it seems I use logic quite well in my every day life_ I seem to be married to common sense.

I never dated an INTJ but I had colleagues and family INTJ. We can talk for hours. The problem with me is that they lack Fi so I'll appreciate their ideas and can talk for hours with them,

but I'm not interested into intimacy with them. Opposite attracts so here you have the answer now !

I've never heard any compliment from an INTJ about my look or even a frank compliment about my qualities.

It has happened at work only and those were shy compliments (they are soooooooo mean :doh:) !


- If you are an ESFP, what advice do you have for the INTJs?

I'm not gonna bite you so...let's work on your body language now :harhar:

Try to compliment your ESFP, when you feel like it with authentic words and cuddles (you'll win many points there too)

Get in touch with your inner child :thelook::cop:
:hardatwork::bunnyglee::saturned::unicorn:

Are you sure you're an ESFP? You seem to be expressing a lot of Fe. Not that ESFPs can't express Fe, but your description above of your interaction with INTJs and general demeanor sounds more ESFJish than ESFPish.

"I've never heard any compliment from an INTJ about my look or even a frank compliment about my qualities."

This in particular sounds like the approval-seeking behavior characteristic of dominant Fe.

Fi is able to evaluate itself in this area of both personal qualities (that's Fi to a T) and, yes, aesthetics/looks too. As such, Fi does not require external evaluations in this area. That would be Fe.
 
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
1,447
MBTI Type
*NF*
Enneagram
852
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are you sure you're an ESFP? You seem to be expressing a lot of Fe. Not that ESFPs can't express Fe, but your description above of your interaction with INTJs and general demeanor sounds more ESFJish than ESFPish.

"I've never heard any compliment from an INTJ about my look or even a frank compliment about my qualities."

This in particular sounds like the approval-seeking behavior characteristic of dominant Fe.

Fi is able to evaluate itself in this area of both personal qualities (that's Fi to a T) and, yes, aesthetics/looks too. As such, Fi does not require external evaluations in this area. That would be Fe.

All I can say is that I have Fe in socionics. See the post "what is your socionic type".

But as we know the result of socionic sucks :D

My Fe sucks too and is quite low. I had many problems in my childhood as well as when I was a teen due to that. Fortunately for me my father was a cop (....)


I don't really care about too many things in society. I don't want to be polite for the sake of rules + answering the others' need and desire tire me.

I'm too much of a lonely frog. :content: All I know is that I am an "authenticity type" as they call it. You can have doubts about anything I write. It is interesting anyhow.

Doubts can sometimes lead to truth and creativity. But...not always...

To be more precise : I don't require what you call "external evaluation", but with the ones I love it is important to express how good/ important we are for each other.

I don't give a damn about compliments which concern my look. I have had almost too much and it is not what is important to me (...)

It does not mean I crave for it. It means it is important to feel you are important and unic for the ones you haven chosen to share some special times in your life.

I spend more time analysing and being aware of others' (lack of) mental qualities/human values than some people do. I'm not sure I can tell them every time...
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
(...)

I spend more time analysing and being aware of others' (lack of) mental qualities/human values than some people do. I'm not sure I can tell them every time...

This sounds super Fi now actually. Nice. I think we'd get along well. You really love them emoticons, haha.
 
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