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  1. #21
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vulcan View Post
    Indeed. Sorry, maybe I should learn how to bake crossiants when I leave the ligth on in the oven.
    This may be more "egg in frying pan".
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
    Likes Julius_Van_Der_Beak liked this post

  2. #22
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Understood. I think we are on the same page. I just got a vibe that equated harsh arrogance with a certain image. A "tough" girl. But those girls aren't tough. Soft, actually.

    Just pretending really. The ones to worry about don't advertise. Same with dudes.

    This is why some 6s think I am Satan in a silk dress.

    But I wouldn't even harm a fly....

    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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  3. #23
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    This is why some 6s think I am Satan in a silk dress.

    But I wouldn't even harm a fly....

    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find this an issue with MOST men unless you're talking about another INFP, maybe. Wanting one-dimensional women who are only fun and sexy is pretty common.

    I am pretty sure people go for one-dimensional in general. They want someone to fill their needs and feed their ego, not another fully fleshed human being. So as not to go off-topic, I am expounding on ego-illusory relationships in my blog.

    Anyway, where is this at now (if you dont mind)?
    I notice INFPs (myself included) tend to predict doom for every relationship.
    People in this day and age don't know how to pick a person. They jump at little things and those little things tend to cause them to down play the big stuff. They use correlation between people to guess at the things they don't know...I like long hair men because they are this type of person. They don't teach it at schools, parents project to much of themselves onto the kid..."this is what you want and you like". Project that to much of a this is how people need to be or should be. To many teach how to get someone or keep someone instead of looking at things and seeing if this is even what you really want.
    Im out, its been fun
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  5. #25
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find this an issue with MOST men unless you're talking about another INFP, maybe. Wanting one-dimensional women who are only fun and sexy is pretty common.

    I am pretty sure people go for one-dimensional in general. They want someone to fill their needs and feed their ego, not another fully fleshed human being. So as not to go off-topic, I am expounding on ego-illusory relationships in my blog.

    Anyway, where is this at now (if you dont mind)?
    I notice INFPs (myself included) tend to predict doom for every relationship.
    To make this relationship last, I must keep my demons in their place.
    We don't really have deep and emotional conversations (it happened, just quite rarely). The exchange of those three words and physical affection are in moderation. Emotional reactions from me that have no logical reasons to elaborate are criticised. I don't care for sports or being "ambitious and successful in life", he doesn't care for subcultures or the abstract and introspection.

    We spend lots of time together and do most things together though. He is transparent with me, and loyal. We both put a lot of efforts into supporting each other's career and intellectual growth. We make plans that are 6 months ahead. He says I make him a better person. He pushes me to work towards my more realistic goals.

    Let's just say, I'm learning to act more like a INTx to achieve a more harmonious partnership with this ISTx e3 person. Do I feel like I'm in so love with all that soul-mate and deep connection thing? No. Does he say he loves me more than he has ever loved anybody else? Yes.

    Yes. Maybe most relationships will doom for INFPs. I doubt there is one out there that could ever fully satisfy me.
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    To make this relationship last, I must keep my demons in their place.
    We don't really have deep and emotional conversations (it happened, just quite rarely). The exchange of those three words and physical affection are in moderation. Emotional reactions from me that have no logical reasons to elaborate are criticised. I don't care for sports or being "ambitious and successful in life", he doesn't care for subcultures or the abstract and introspection.

    We spend lots of time together and do most things together though. He is transparent with me, and loyal. We both put a lot of efforts into supporting each other's career and intellectual growth. We make plans that are 6 months ahead. He says I make him a better person. He pushes me to work towards my more realistic goals.

    Let's just say, I'm learning to act more like a INTx to achieve a more harmonious partnership with this ISTx e3 person. Do I feel like I'm in so love with all that soul-mate and deep connection thing? No. Does he say he loves me more than he has ever loved anybody else? Yes.

    Yes. Maybe most relationships will doom for INFPs. I doubt there is one out there that could ever fully satisfy me.
    Sounds ISTJ IMHO. I can see good and bad with infp and istj. I only know one and it's crap, but it's not personality that's the cause. It's unhealthy and codependent that's the cause. ISTJ is so unhealthy I couldn't even use 8t to judge the healthy aspects based on it. She can't work due to medical reasons and they have kids together. We are talking a 50 year old that still keeps having to move in with parents.
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #27
    Junior Member FiFi's Avatar
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    Is it true that ISTP people don't think long term about relationships? I read this everywhere, I'm curious...

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiFi View Post
    Is it true that ISTP people don't think long term about relationships? I read this everywhere, I'm curious...
    I don't think or plan much long term relationship wise. Doesn't mean I have issues with long term. I am very much a here and now person. Long term is a direction, it's not something I really focus on. It doesn't scare or deter me unless deep inside my body says run. It takes alot for that to happen, much more then just the thought of long term and being stuck with one person.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #29
    mercenary SiegfriedSchtauffen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiFi View Post
    Is it true that ISTP people don't think long term about relationships? I read this everywhere, I'm curious...
    Take a look into my head: I live my life mostly by improvising and adapting, long term planning isn't my table in general. All I have is very short term plans (at most few days ahead or weeks in some exceptional cases) and some very-very long term high level goals/dreams (like extending my freedom). I want to decide what's next when I wake up and when I get bored of something I'm doing. Are we humans future tellers? I don't think so. It makes no sense to promise eternal love to each other. If it's good then let's play another round each new day and we'll see what comes next. I think planning ahead makes no difference: Either way you stop the game when you no longer enjoy it.

    This however doesn't mean that long term things don't work in my case. I'm a minimalist so if I need something and it has proven to work I often keep it until it stops working and I think it's beyond repair. This can be years, a decade, or even more. And don't forget that "beyond repair" must be a really serious issue for an ISTP in case of something that worked before (let it be something from the minimalist rambo-survival-kit or a relationship with someone lovable)! :-D However if it reaches the "beyond repair" phase then its over, life is cruel, sometimes we have to sacrifice things and have to proceed to the next chapter.

    A problematic part can be forcing me to make decisions that have significant (possibly very bad) impact on my future and difficult to undo later - e.g.: some forms of commitment like: marriage, children, etc... Things like these can be used effectively to scare or flap me away.

    A much bigger problem can be being a good match for an ISTP as a partner and "tolerate" or settle for the simplicity of an ISTP from certain aspects.
    Health, Freedom, Fun.

    "The only true power comes from within."
    "Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don't expect it from cheap people." - Warren Buffett
    "The truth will set you free - but first it will make you miserable." - James A. Garfield
    "It is far better for a man to go wrong in freedom than to go right in chains." - Thomas Henry Huxley
    "Failure is success if we learn from it." - Malcolm Forbes
    "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." - Jack Canfield

  10. #30
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't think your typical INFP is a long-term planner either, but I don't think most of is view commitment as planning.

    I don't like to commit to many long-term things because I want to stay open to different possibilites as they emerge. I don't like to be limited, and I like when life surprises me. INFPs are rarely ever control freaks, for that reason. We share the IxxP attitude of focusing on refining our inner model as a sort of compass and then being ready to improvise and adapt as needed to the external, dynamic world.

    When I think about the future, I think about my internal self...what I would like to feel. This usually means being aligned with big concepts also, such as experiencing creativity, autonomy, spirituality, intimacy, etc. I am very open to the many ways these things can manifest. My idea of them is constantly being refined, as well. But I also realize some commitment is involved for the development of higher goals, even if there is openness to how they are realized. What I usually just want to see is that someone is not going to confine me too much, that we both can grow, but also that there is some stability and tie in the shared feeling.

    So an issue for me (and likely most INFPs) with relationships is loyalty. I know things change, but I want to feel that someone will not take off the moment something gets difficult, which is inevitable in life. I am a whole, complex him with flaws, weaknesses, bad moods, bad days, bad weeks, etc. I don't want to have to be a cardboard cutout, a Stepford wife, a Geisha-bot, etc. I am willing to accept the whole of someone else also. Of course, the good should outweigh the bad.

    Sometimes the "take it day by day" types of people leave me with the impression that if any difficulty ever arises, then they are out; as if, the history or larger context doesn't mean anything at all, and neither does the person (just what you "get" from them). It seems there is no loyalty there, to me. To me, the pleasant times are not static, but neither are the difficult ones. I cannot define things by a moment then, but instead, a larger, continuous dynamic.

    If someone cannot see the big picture, then I am left feeling on eggshells, and then a real intimacy is never going to happen. I also cannot call that love, which I do not think is so fickle or so selfish.

    So, I think it is reasonable for people to desire commitment, as a kind of pledge in good faith, so that there is enough security to be vulnerable and cultivate intimacy. I dont think that means life is planned out far into the future.

    The way ISTPs are described sounds fickle, and frankly, a bit shallow and self-serving, although I don't necessarily see them that way in person.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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