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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't really know the appeal of INFPs to ISTPs?

    An old ISTP friend reconnected with me recently. He was very direct that he has always found me attractive and seems to be intersted in me romantically.

    But honestly, looking at things he likes, it seems he is drawn to some very stereotypical ISTP stuff; i.e. chicks with tattoos, rather plastic looking women, women with these sort of harsh & arrogant attitudes, etc. Pretty much xSTP women .

    I am so opposite of that...I am not plain, but I go for more of a boho or eclectic fashion look and generally appear more soft and sweet (think Alexa Chung or someone like that). I dont have any badass attitude either. I am not into tatoos. I am bookish and spiritual. Etc.

    I find it really bizarre that he seems interested in me. Is this just an opposites thing?

    Any insight from those who have been there?
    I am not interested in those women. I like more somewhat reserved, down to earth, but not prudes. I judge women on their kindness, ability to love, etc. This is usually what draws me to IxFPs. Even if I don't have much in common with them I still admire and enjoy them being around. Most I know are very much home bodies which I am good with because I am not a partier or anything.

    I do like tatoos tough it's not required at all, I don't like plastic woken. I like normal women with normal bodies and I am repelled away from harsh or arrogant. I have been told I turn women into a women. Even the ones who are more ruggish and boy like.
    Im out, its been fun
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  2. #12
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    I am not interested in those women. I like more somewhat reserved, down to earth, but not prudes. I judge women on their kindness, ability to love, etc. This is usually what draws me to IxFPs. Even if I don't have much in common with them I still admire and enjoy them being around. Most I know are very much home bodies which I am good with because I am not a partier or anything.

    I do like tatoos tough it's not required at all, I don't like plastic woken. I like normal women with normal bodies and I am repelled away from harsh or arrogant. I have been told I turn women into a women. Even the ones who are more ruggish and boy like.
    I didn't respond to OrangeAppled because I couldn't phrase it correctly - but yes. This is accurate and also how I view attraction. It isn't totally shallow. The person still needs to be themselves - even if it is a casual attraction. Arrogance or putting on a tough act isn't what is attractive. If I can see your soul, I can like you.

    Sincerity is an aphrodisiac.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't mean to imply all ISTPs have the same tastes. If an ISTP showed a tendency to like more soft, dreamy appearances, then I wouldn't wonder so much.

    I understand arrogance/toughness not being an attractive attitude, but some people's appearances have a "hard", "bad boy/girl" look. I am referring to style and expression. I have that sort of dreamy, innocent, arty INFP thing going on, complete with large eyes, small mouth, shy smile ("childlike" facial proportions).

    So if someone is not drawn to that aesthetic, it makes me wonder why they find me attractive. I am wary of being a "novelty" to someone.

    As noted, the novelty factor seems high in this pairing...

    I dated an INFJ who told me he normally preferred short women (I am tallish). I am wary of being an exception to someone's usual tastes.

    I dont want to go way off-topic, so I may continue this in my blog.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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  4. #14
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    To make this relationship last, I will need to continue being what I was on our first 6 dates: a great banter, easy-going, spontaneous, adventurous, sexy, charming, caring, light-hearted, aloof, busy.
    I find this an issue with MOST men unless you're talking about another INFP, maybe. Wanting one-dimensional women who are only fun and sexy is pretty common.

    I am pretty sure people go for one-dimensional in general. They want someone to fill their needs and feed their ego, not another fully fleshed human being. So as not to go off-topic, I am expounding on ego-illusory relationships in my blog.

    Anyway, where is this at now (if you dont mind)?
    I notice INFPs (myself included) tend to predict doom for every relationship.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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  5. #15
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't mean to imply all ISTPs have the same tastes. If an ISTP showed a tendency to like more soft, dreamy appearances, then I wouldn't wonder so much.

    I understand arrogance/toughness not being an attractive attitude, but some people's appearances have a "hard", "bad boy/girl" look. I am referring to style and expression. I have that sort of dreamy, innocent, arty INFP thing going on, complete with large eyes, small mouth, shy smile ("childlike" facial proportions).

    So if someone is not drawn to that aesthetic, it makes me wonder why they find me attractive. I am wary of being a "novelty" to someone.

    As noted, the novelty factor seems high in this pairing...

    I dated an INFJ who told me he normally preferred short women (I am tallish). I am wary of being an exception to someone's usual tastes.

    I dont want to go way off-topic, so I may continue this in my blog.
    Well, I also think no matter how hard you appear - you are still human. Umm. I'm not intimidated by a tough exterior. Often, it masks a soft interior, if you get past that. Vice versa. I know some NF's that (I think) are way harsher than I am. Like, wow. I would never go that far to punish or teach a lesson to, etc.

    So it is relative. What you may see as hard may not be so.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Well, I also think no matter how hard you appear - you are still human. Umm. I'm not intimidated by a tough exterior. Often, it masks a soft interior, if you get past that. Vice versa. I know some NF's that (I think) are way harsher than I am. Like, wow. I would never go that far to punish or teach a lesson to, etc.

    So it is relative. What you may see as hard may not be so.
    Sure...I understand that. I am talking about a style, as in clothing and grooming tastes, as well as body language, and perhaps even features.

    I am not saying such people are necessarily mean or anything. It's like a square vs a circle.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #17
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Sure...I understand that. I am talking about a style, as in clothing and grooming tastes, as well as body language, and perhaps even features.

    I am not saying such people are necessarily mean or anything. It's like a square vs a circle.
    I like shorrt people with big noses. Soory I never drink this much, I had six beers. Weekend at Bernies! Hello, Wisconsin!

  8. #18
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vulcan View Post
    I like shorrt people with big noses. Soory I never drink this much, I had six beers. Weekend at Bernies! Hello, Wisconsin!
    I understand, and I don't judge.

    The appeal of big noses, I mean.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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  9. #19
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Sure...I understand that. I am talking about a style, as in clothing and grooming tastes, as well as body language, and perhaps even features.

    I am not saying such people are necessarily mean or anything. It's like a square vs a circle.
    Understood. I think we are on the same page. I just got a vibe that equated harsh arrogance with a certain image. A "tough" girl. But those girls aren't tough. Soft, actually.

    Just pretending really. The ones to worry about don't advertise. Same with dudes.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #20
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I understand, and I don't judge.

    The appeal of big noses, I mean.
    Indeed. Sorry, maybe I should learn how to bake crossiants when I leave the ligth on in the oven.

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