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  1. #71
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    I was told early by enfp that I suck at sugar coating things. To which I agreed, I can word thing good, but adding a nice sugar coating to shit I don't do. I will raise bad with good, not a dollop of smoke and mirrors that fall apart down the road because the smoke and mirrors were just a mirage
    I had to straighten one of my employees out who was in complete denial about her abilities and it was causing resentment with her that she wasn't being given more responsibility from me.

    I wasn't mean to her, although I am sure that she thought that because I had to level with her. That she couldn't perform the job reliably to the standards that it needed to be met for me to count on her. Simple as that. If she wanted more responsibility, I would be open to giving it to her and work with her on building it, but she would have to show improvement.

    ENFP sent me this after that day at work.

    "She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire."

    Saying that, I think sometimes I could choose better words for what I want to say but it just would take so much more energy. Reminds me of Carlin's stand up about soft language and how it attempts to conceal truth. Shell Shock is now 'Battle Fatigue" then "PTSD" etc.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I had to straighten one of my employees out who was in complete denial about her abilities and it was causing resentment with her that she wasn't being given more responsibility from me.

    I wasn't mean to her, although I am sure that she thought that because I had to level with her. That she couldn't perform the job reliably to the standards that it needed to be met for me to count on her. Simple as that. If she wanted more responsibility, I would be open to giving it to her and work with her on building it, but she would have to show improvement.

    ENFP sent me this after that day at work.

    "She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire."

    Saying that, I think sometimes I could choose better words for what I want to say but it just would take so much more energy. Reminds me of Carlin's stand up about soft language and how it attempts to conceal truth. Shell Shock is now 'Battle Fatigue" then "PTSD" etc.
    Yeah, she said it can suck at times, especially in the moment, but its actually comforting.
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #73
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    Dont know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but due to my stubborn and independence i pretty much make a decision on the path i am gonna take. If she has something she needs to do or is involved or wants to be i wait to give her a chance to do whatever she needs and then i just do what i needed to do. I do take what she wants into account and may adjust what i do, but i dont stop from going forward. Will help if afterwards she decides to do it. I dont really complain, get upset, mad, etc. I just see it as i gave you a chance, not gonna wait forever though. Pretty much how i am with everything. When driving i put my signal on, give person next to me time to react, then get over and possibly cut them off. Again, no anger, no nothing from me.

    For example, i needed to remodel the kitchen. She wanted to prepare a bunch of meals ahead of time. I gave her several weeks doing other things and then said screw it and just tore apart the kitchen. I made sure it was as usable as possible and downtime was kept to a minimum. But i didnt wait anymore.

    She says she likes it because i push her without the anger or anything. Its a choice, do it or dont, your call.
    Im out, its been fun
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  4. #74
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    I'm actually in a terrible spot in my marriage with my ISTP. We've been separated for a little over four months and have really only been in contact the last five weeks. He's told me to relax and continue the routine I've developed, and to save my money for the end of the school year. He also has said he doesn't know what to feel or expect.

    I cannot dwell on the good days or the what ifs too long, our or else I an completely overwhelmed.

  5. #75
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    One source of our agruments is her reading books and me disagreeing with them. To her it makes sense...and i get the "makes sense" but it doesnt mean it applies to the situation at hand. I read people, she reads books.

    Common theme is she has the ideas from lots of different things that make sense and i whittle them down to the situation at hand that i read

    No serious arguments, just frustrated, stop and work through issue to fix. We both naturally bend to each other to try to meet in middle.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #76
    was here that's not my name's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    One source of our agruments is her reading books and me disagreeing with them. To her it makes sense...and i get the "makes sense" but it doesnt mean it applies to the situation at hand. I read people, she reads books.

    Common theme is she has the ideas from lots of different things that make sense and i whittle them down to the situation at hand that i read

    No serious arguments, just frustrated, stop and work through issue to fix. We both naturally bend to each other to try to meet in middle.
    Don't know if its just the enfps in my life but I don't even voice my disagreement with them anymore because they always seem to care a lot more than I do. Its interesting to hear what they think but its tiring at times.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by that's not my name View Post
    Don't know if its just the enfps in my life but I don't even voice my disagreement with them anymore because they always seem to care a lot more than I do. Its interesting to hear what they think but its tiring at times.
    It takes time for respect with them. They initially gravitate towards people who "think" like them. They get stuck in the same ruts over and over because of it. We argue alot, but we dont fight much at all. I frequently ask her what she is looking at because it doesnt match reality one bit, just some image she has created over time. She goes off of ideas that help me when i get stuck with what i know.

    The advantage is that due to Ti I have a much higher depth understanding and a desire to understand more.

    I would say the biggest struggle is breaking past her inferior Si, her disconected perception of the whole world due to its simpleness. They are smart people, but they have this knack of over simplifying and shooting themself in the foot. Its like quick snap judgements that you have to dig into before the light clicks. Sometimes it clicks fast, other times slower. We have opposite issue so we find a balance over time.

    Thats not an instant place though for these types, its something that builds. When apart we go about life completely different then when together due to completely different functions. But together the functions mesh and adapt to each other.

    She has said that i have completely opened her eyes to a new world.
    Im out, its been fun
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