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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    We categorize things WAY differently. I have this pull w fine tune her categorization because it's very shallow and short sited. But alot of the world is. Abstract example is

    Her: xyz is fun
    Me: no its not it's abc you enjoy, it just so happens to be during xyz in this instance.
    Her: yeah

    Alot of stuff like that.
    Sounds like a lot of conversations with my wife. I like to finetune definitions or come up with good analogies and metaphors for things she's talking about. Although she's pretty good with metaphor and analogy herself, though not so much with clear cut definitions.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    Sounds like a lot of conversations with my wife. I like to finetune definitions or come up with good analogies and metaphors for things she's talking about. Although she's pretty good with metaphor and analogy herself, though not so much with clear cut definitions.
    It's funny because the way we interact people look at the other waiting for them to blow up or get upset because of what was said. It's just alot of playful bickering. I will get on my soap box and she can't argue against me because I preach the truth, that alone makes her laugh and smile. Because she see the stupidity and the logic and the rational of what I preach about.

    Her: does something stupid
    Me: What he hell woman
    Her: well I just thought
    Me: stop thinking
    Her: I was just trying
    Me: just do this and this, see done

    Then we stick our tongues at each other because we really don't care.

    All said with the correct tone and inflection of arguing, but we could careless as it's things in life that really don't matter

    And someone pointed out we will go behind each other and fix things. Neither one cares or even noticeS the other does it. After it was pointed out we still didn't care. Or if we do notice we adjust next time and do it thevery way they did or a middle ground.
    Im out, its been fun
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  3. #43
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    @Poki I say "woman" also but only with women. It just feels right.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  4. #44
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    This came up the other night, but I am the alpha in the relationship. Was out with some friends one time, tested isfj and an ENTP and she made the comment that he wears the pants, but she decides and picks which ones like most relationships. The common saying the women lets the man think he is in charge. Mine is the opposite, I am in charge and decide what pants she wears. My son even said that because what she says usually goes as long as I approve or I put my foot down. I don't really do that much though as I am good with her decision 99% of the time. She enjoys ibwear the pants, though I drive her nuts at times when I do decide...this is how its going be done. She respects me though like I respect her. She does confer with me ALOT as she doesn't really feel competent enough to make choices and take lead. I don't have the time to do it all, so alot falls on her shoulders as well and I can't tell you how many arguments we get into about her knocking herself down and me arguing that she is very competent and capable. Unlike most Ps though I don't appreciate the "tough" Je and really enjoy the more laid back P approach to things. We still get stuff done, we just do it in a more laid back approach then a J. I usually argue to just be yourself and find what works as opposed to knocking your P down and trying to be J. I think the key for a P is through P to be more J like, then to try and become J. Sounds stupid, but its what works. Having tried to figure out why.
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #45
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    This came up the other night, but I am the alpha in the relationship. Was out with some friends one time, tested isfj and an ENTP and she made the comment that he wears the pants, but she decides and picks which ones like most relationships. The common saying the women lets the man think he is in charge. Mine is the opposite, I am in charge and decide what pants she wears. My son even said that because what she says usually goes as long as I approve or I put my foot down. I don't really do that much though as I am good with her decision 99% of the time. She enjoys ibwear the pants, though I drive her nuts at times when I do decide...this is how its going be done. She respects me though like I respect her. She does confer with me ALOT as she doesn't really feel competent enough to make choices and take lead. I don't have the time to do it all, so alot falls on her shoulders as well and I can't tell you how many arguments we get into about her knocking herself down and me arguing that she is very competent and capable. Unlike most Ps though I don't appreciate the "tough" Je and really enjoy the more laid back P approach to things. We still get stuff done, we just do it in a more laid back approach then a J. I usually argue to just be yourself and find what works as opposed to knocking your P down and trying to be J. I think the key for a P is through P to be more J like, then to try and become J. Sounds stupid, but its what works. Having tried to figure out why.
    This might be a good idea for a thread in the SP Arthouse about SP roles in relationships. On a related note, my two best female friends (ENFJ and ESFP) were having a drink and discussing this exact topic. ENFJ is married to ISTJ former MMA fighter, and ESFP is married to (ISxP physical therapist). I am not married to an ENFP musician.

    All of us are some pretty independent women but they were discussing how their roles in the relationship was not dominant and they preferred them this way. I don't mean to say that by non-dominance these women are passive - not so! Just, they like to follow, rather than lead.

    I was listening to them and realized to myself that I couldn't be in a relationship where I wasn't leading. I always say me and the ENFP have a pilot/navigator relationship. I lead the way but ENFP guides me. I really enjoy that. It is egalitarian. We both have different strengths that complement each other.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  6. #46
    Junior Member Warrior Princess's Avatar
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    @Poki and @MDP2525,

    Hi guys, since you are both ISTP's dating ENFP's I had a question.

    I broke up with my ex who is an ISTP 3 weeks ago. We had been dating for 7 months. I am willing to tell the story if need be, but I am at work and right now I am at lunch.
    Monday I texted and told him I missed him and he got right back to me saying he missed me and my smell (the smell part must be a sensor thing). Even when we were in a relationship he never texted me back that quick. I then texted "I will not beg nor will I expect but if you would like to call tomorrow night you welcome too." He immediately responded back with "Okay sweets, sounds good." He did not call, which was fine because I did not expect him to. Well Wednesday I was reflecting on our relationship and what I did wrong, and texted with apology for not trusting him enough. He got back to me 3 hours later and said that was not our issue, but he did not know what was the issue. I then texted "Sweetie I do not want to bother you, so if you want me to leave you alone please just say 'yes please'". He did not respond, we both have I-phones, so it shows me he read the text.

    So after just typing out of my ass , my question is: Could he be keep me as an option while he dates around to find better? I have thought of many other possibilities as us ENFPs are great at, but that one seems most plausible, but I could be incorrect. If you have any questions or other thoughts please feel free to share. And please be blunt I always appreciated that about him. thanks

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warrior Princess View Post
    @Poki and @MDP2525,

    Hi guys, since you are both ISTP's dating ENFP's I had a question.

    I broke up with my ex who is an ISTP 3 weeks ago. We had been dating for 7 months. I am willing to tell the story if need be, but I am at work and right now I am at lunch.
    Monday I texted and told him I missed him and he got right back to me saying he missed me and my smell (the smell part must be a sensor thing). Even when we were in a relationship he never texted me back that quick. I then texted "I will not beg nor will I expect but if you would like to call tomorrow night you welcome too." He immediately responded back with "Okay sweets, sounds good." He did not call, which was fine because I did not expect him to. Well Wednesday I was reflecting on our relationship and what I did wrong, and texted with apology for not trusting him enough. He got back to me 3 hours later and said that was not our issue, but he did not know what was the issue. I then texted "Sweetie I do not want to bother you, so if you want me to leave you alone please just say 'yes please'". He did not respond, we both have I-phones, so it shows me he read the text.

    So after just typing out of my ass , my question is: Could he be keep me as an option while he dates around to find better? I have thought of many other possibilities as us ENFPs are great at, but that one seems most plausible, but I could be incorrect. If you have any questions or other thoughts please feel free to share. And please be blunt I always appreciated that about him. thanks
    He doesn't sound interested IMHO. When things are laid out I don't know any STPs that beat around the bush if they are interested and know you are as well. What you said was pretty blunt and to the point.
    Im out, its been fun
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  8. #48
    Junior Member Warrior Princess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    He doesn't sound interested IMHO. When things are laid out I don't know any STPs that beat around the bush if they are interested and know you are as well. What you said was pretty blunt and to the point.
    Thank you, I believe you are correct.

  9. #49
    Junior Member Warrior Princess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    He doesn't sound interested IMHO. When things are laid out I don't know any STPs that beat around the bush if they are interested and know you are as well. What you said was pretty blunt and to the point.
    I do have another question, why won't he tell me he is not interested?

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warrior Princess View Post
    I do have another question, why won't he tell me he is not interested?
    I would say typical reason based on what you say he is like and doing is that he really isn't giving anything much thought to what you say from his replies. Your simply present and not really something he wants to put much time into. So everything is hit or miss. If he is stringing you along or keeping you as an option he royally sucks at it.
    Im out, its been fun
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