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Thread: INFP and ESFJ Relationships

  1. #1
    Administrator Array highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    6w5 sx/sp
    ILI Ni

    Default INFP and ESFJ Relationships

    What do you think about relationships between INFPs and ESFJs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

    When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
    - Why are they attracted to each other?
    - How to they compliment each other?
    - How well do they understand each other and why?
    - What are they like together raising children?

    When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
    - How can they take each other for granted?
    - What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

    Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an INFP, what advice do you have for the ESFJs?
    - If you are an ESFJ, what advice would you have for the INFPs?

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  2. #2
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    4 sx/sp
    INFp None


    I might have relatives that are this pairing with a female INFP and male ESFJ, and in their case it works because they are both really laid back. They connect in creative ways, both having hobbies that include cooking, carving, sewing, art, writing, animals etc. He is extremely good at classifying and remembering many details and can name every wildflower, mushroom, bird, etc. She gets lost in inventing stories and art. Their connection tends to appear mostly concrete and creative. He was too overbearing at first, but responded to her sensitivities and even stopped hunting because she would get genuinely upset when seeing a dead animal. She engages more in the concrete world because of him, I think.
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  3. #3
    Member Array Chickennugget's Avatar
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    Feb 2015
    6w7 sp/sx
    ENFp Ne


    I agree with the user above. Good match.
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  4. #4
    Junior Member Array
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    Apr 2015
    9w1 sx/so


    I really like esfjs. From my experience they make me feel calm and I like that they take my feelings into consideration. They're awesome and I couldn't see it being too disharmonious for the most part.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    May 2015
    4w5 sp
    INFj Fi


    I think ESFJs are perfect matches even more so than ENFJs. I find the ENFJs I know to be too blunt and direct. I like sentimental types like ESFJs that can open up which balances out my extreme reserve.
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.

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