However since you apparently havent seen it, i have no objection against being attracted to someone who is an opposite in some way or another, but the difference is about reasons for it. I think i already addressed this in other words, so ill say it again in other words. If you are looking for compensation from your relationship, you are half a coin that looks for other half from someone else. If you are a full coin that doesent look for another half for Self, but someone bit different whose differences you can admire and are drawn to, then its completely different thing.
I already addressed this issue by saying that your approach is more Te goal oriented style than my approach is.. For example learning math formulas by purely memorization and being capable of calculating complex calculations, is not the same as learning math by figuring out why the formulas are what they are and then being capable of doing complex calculations with the same formulas. Im not saying that INTJs are the types to just memorize the formulas without any thought, but it represents similar goal oriented attitude of "i can now do this, and how i was able to do it is not relevant".And my entire point all along is that I do not agree with that perspective. Learning is learning.
Jung had this idea about anima/animus archetypes playing role in relationships. The idea is that the opposite from your persona you hide away from other people because you see it as something opposite of you is and often attribute these traits to your ideal romantic partner and try to look for partner like that because your unconscious tries to compensate your own weaknesses. Jung, jungians in general, numerous marriage counsellors and other psychologists see this sort of setup as perfect situation for projections(onto someone who even vaguely resembles this ideal partner) and think that this sort of projections start to fade out after you really get to know the other person(or that they dont fade away and just cause too much misunderstandings and other problems in relationships that it fails altogether) and often in these situations people realize that they didnt actually know their partner nearly as well as they thought.
Not to mention the idea that its the other persons persona that your anima registers and then starts to project onto the whole person.
The way to decrease this sort of projections and anima traps is to develop those sides in yourself. And if you develop your F based on some F persons F, then you are again prone on projecting ideas of your old partner on a new partner who is also F, because your idea of F is based on that other person, not this new partners F. So in the end you wont get out of the trap, the trap just changes form a bit.
This is part of my point:
Doesent this need for going through long and rocky road be smaller if both parties would had developed their weaker sides, in this case INTJ who developed and properly integrated his Fi to himself and INFP who developed and integrated her Te to herself? Because i think it would ease things significantly, decrease the headaches and arguments/fights that come from misunderstandings and up the chances of the relationship to work out significantly.I imagine both parties would have to be pretty persistent and dedicated, but it could work.