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  1. #41
    Senior Member Glados's Avatar
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    My first experience towards this was relatively easy.

    But recently, I have been in discussion with another INTJ female which can lead to a relationship.

    Parties:
    INFJ 8 sx/sp.
    INTJ 8 sp/sx.

    Pros:
    - Deep talk, creative ideas.
    - Gorgeous sense of humour.
    - Mutual respect towards boundaries and each other.
    - Anticipating problems which can surface throughout possible future and talking about them or trying to solve them before they arise.
    - Lots of mutual introspection.
    - A mutual perspective about how fun experimenting on people can be.

    Cons:
    - Fights for control.
    - Arguments and clashes related to the issue of control or personal facts.
    - Both parties assert their independence in a domineering method, paving way to potential conflict.
    - If instictive controlling tendencies and explosive anger are left unchecked, shitstorms happen.
    - Pushing buttons and responding with simulated anger to keep each other in line.

    Potential solution(s):
    - Diplomacy.
    - Mediation.
    - Renunciating the fight for control mutually through the establishment of a sense of mutual trust.
    - Cooperation.
    - Leaps of faith, not for each other per se, yet, but for the seperate existence of parties themselves.
    - Understanding.
    Mercifulness is not a trait that the weak can possess. The world is full of idiots who like to think that they are merciful in order to forget that they actually are weak.

  2. #42
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetta View Post
    The INTJ and INFJ are very compatible and their relationship has the potential for a solid partnership built on similar perspectives and attitudes. INTJs share INFJs interest in connecting the dots with a focus on the underlying significance of things. But where the INFJ is fixated with the personal (Fe), the INTJ attends to the impersonal (Te). This dynamic is likely to be beneficial in a complementary way with each side compensating for areas in which the other lacks. INFJ in particular can provide some of the warmth and affection that INTJs appreciate but have trouble expressing.

    INTJ and INFJ essentially understand one another and they speak a similar language. They have a vision of the future and they spend quality time together ruminating on the meaning of things and what they may represent for the big picture. INFJs are often very concerned with society at large and various social issues and they may become anxious over what they hear in the news. They pick up on the trends and patterns and become either depressed or encouraged by what it indicates to them. INTJs share a similar concern and they both have ideas about the way things ought to be in the world but unfortunately are not. This however, is what motivates them to go out and make an impact and they both work hard towards this end and they likely will be very sympathetic and supportive of one another’s crusades. These two will love cloistering themselves off from the rest of the world much of the time where they can just be introverts together.
    I would generally agree with this, even though I have an ENFJ but he's low on the extroversion. Definitely visions for the future, big picture, supportive of each others' different "crusades". We were fishing tonight and I think we said less than 10 words in 3 hrs and it's great. I think he likes that I don't like games, I'm as straightforward as humanly possibly and don't need a lot of maintenance. I'm also a good listener, understand I/ENFJ's need to vent (I didn't know this for awhile - I assumed everyone with a problem is looking for a solution) and I would say nurturing (which I think is a more common thing than people think).
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  3. #43
    Senior Member Madboot's Avatar
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    My wife is an INFJ, and we have been married for fourteen years. There were some communication issues early on. Mostly it was me being unaware how my observations could hurt her feelings. But we've always maintained open communication in our relationship and she helped me see how critical I could sometime be. On the other hand I've helped her to stop reading extra layers of meaning into what I, and others, say. We've always made it a point to discuss things and not get into arguments. Other than a few miscommunications over the years, our relationship has been incredible. I can't imagine a better match for me. Some say the combination of INTJ and INFJ would be boring and reclusive, or lack passion. I can tell you that is far from the truth. I do agree however that people in this combination need to be emotionally mature for it work. But then again that should be true of any relationship.
    Likes ceecee, highlander, Sam (: liked this post

  4. #44
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    I could see it, as was pointed out earlier in the thread, when both types are a bit older. Perhaps the INTJ has "conquered the world", so to speak, but has yet to find satisfaction in love. And the INFJ is more in the Ti stage of life, and is starting to think more in terms of career success. They meet in the middle, and take on the world together.

    That's not to say the types couldn't work while younger, I just find that opposite types have more appeal when you're young.
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  5. #45
    Senior Member Madboot's Avatar
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    My wife and I were both 21 when we met. I think I emotionally matured a little earlier than most INTJ's though. And we just hit it off immediately. She had just gone through some tough personal issues before meeting me though, and had had something of personal/spiritual awakening. She started paying attention a lot more to what she wanted in life, and not so much what others thought she should want. I just happened to be lucky enough to show up when I did.
    Likes highlander liked this post

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