User Tag List

First 3456 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 53

  1. #41
    Senior Member Hapyniss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2w3
    Posts
    111

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    What do you think about relationships between ENFPs and INTJs? I can’t think of a particular pairing that I’ve seen mentioned more. The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

    When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
    - Why are they attracted to each other?
    - How to they compliment each other?
    - How well do they understand each other and why?
    - What are they like together raising children?

    I think they work well...I think the judgement function sharings in the middle (Fi/Te) accounts for something. I'm attracted to Fi types, period. There's something about it that I'm drawn to and intrigued by. Even outside of the m/f romantic relationship, I've found that I have good relationships with dudes who are Fi types (ENFPs, ESFPs, and INFP).
    But what makes the ENFPs special is that I'm able to talk to them about anything...and they roll with it. It's almost like nothing blows their mind. In my last relationship, with an ENFP, the thing that drew me to her was that we had the best conversations, and nothing I said seemed to lose her. It was great.
    I think the ENFPs like INTJs, because, in a sense, we compliment them in that we give them focus and structure to their ideas. Not their overall lives, as an SJ would most likely, but give them some depth, refinement, and focus to their dreams and aspirations. Nothing is too outrageous to at least discuss, so when they're Ne spouting, our cool calm demeanor helps them.

    I found that I did understand my ENFP very well. I don't read body language as a rule but if I'm interested in a person, I will study and learn them. So I got to learn my ENFP's body language and words used and all that and it helped me understand her.

    When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
    - How can they take each other for granted?
    - What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

    I will come back and update this

    Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an ENFP, what advice do you have for the INTJs?
    - If you are an INTJ, what advice would you have for the ENFPs?

    I will comeback and update this
    One of the things I'm appreciating most is how he amplifies my weaknesses. It's become evident where I need to improve and he's really great about letting me know how I can go about making changes. His lack of emotional attachment to that weakness and plan helps me accept that even though it's judgement, it's not necessarily condemning in any way. I like his contributions to my better person.
    Another positive is that we can talk about damn near everything for a damn long time. It's intellectually stimulating.
    I believe that this compatibility relies heavily on the individuals personal confidence level and consciousness <higher functioning>. This relationship has a way of making both partners feel exposed in ways that they haven't been with other people. It happens so quickly the INTJ is left in a head spin and the ENFP feels extremely vulnerable without an element of having built a foundation of trust. It's perplexing.
    I'm attracted to my INTJ because I can sense him. He doesn't even have to finish sentences, I know what he's thinking and can follow that thought process, elaborate on it, and comment appropriately. He finds that to be a fascinating trait because it's rare. He also is attracted to my balance of intelligence and emotive warmth. Plus, there is an added draw of the nerd getting the hot chick element at play.
    Complimentary aspects are pretty much everything. I'm everything that he is not, and he's literally verbalized that. Vice Versa.
    Understanding comes with some time, but I'd have to say that I started to understand that while he may not emote feelings he still has them. Once I accepted the general blanket principle that he likes me so much that he's spending all his free time with me and doing things he wouldn't normally do it was clear without using words. I actually knew how much he liked me when he showed up to a large social event planned for my birthday at a very obnoxious and noisy club environment. Then, when he wanted to leave, he wanted me to come with him. I declined because I wasn't ready to go and he lingered and caressed my arm. At that point, I let so much of my guard down that I almost fell in love with him right then. He understands me better when I'm minimally emotive. As long as I bring him clear, concise communication about what I want he's exceptionally accommodating.
    We do not have children together but he lights up and truly emotes around children. He feels most comfortable with them as they are not apprehensive and expecting.

    When it's not working:
    Sometimes his lack of emoting causes me insecurity. This makes me feel uncomfortable and I tend to clam up. Shutting down communication doesn't help us work through issues as quickly so progress in this areas is sometimes slow. Although, we compensate for this with an incredible amount of patience for one another.
    Another thing is that he fatigues easily in social situations. He likes one on one time with me the best. I try to remain mindful of that instead of expecting him to attend large social functions for long periods of time.
    Biggest frustration from my end is how vulnerable I feel with him. I'm completely raw and bare; emotionally naked. There is no hiding from and INTJ. I intuit this and know it's best just to answer the hard hitting grime of questions which for me becomes exhaustive.
    Taking each other for granted - I could probably rely on him to take care of everything task oriented (i.e. putting a budget together, keeping a time table, industrial nature chores, etc)
    As for him - He consistently misinterprets my signals and flirtations which I use to express my desire to connect with him. It's somewhat lost on him. So I cannot be a flirty romantic. I have to spell it out for him directly, clearly stating what I want, and let him take the reigns. And he does. For instance, if I feel like I want to spend time with him - I cannot say "I miss you" because he'll just say something like "OK", or "Thank you". Instead I have to say "I want to spend time with you". He knows what to do with that.

    My best recommendation is probably not far off from what I would tell any couple attempting a relationship. But for this one specifically I'll say this

    INTJ speak rational and semantics. ENFP speak emotion and concepts. Learn to speak the language of your partner and communicate in a way they understand. ENFP's need to be clear and concise with the expression of what you want. Think of it this way - give him something he can act upon rather than a social construct to respond to. Then respect his idea and tell him thank you. That's what has worked the best for us.
    INTJ's need to provide assurance without labeling neediness or clinginess. Another good point for INTJ is to alter the paradigm of expectations. You can contribute efficiency to and ENFP's life, but would be wisest not to expect ENFP to initiate thoughts/ideas/behavior patterns to become more efficient. It's not in our nature. Very much the same way emoting isn't in INTJ's. An ENFP expecting INTJ to emote would be likened to that of an INTJ expecting efficiency from the ENFP. Vice Versa
    It would also suffice to say that ENFP shouldn't take what INTJ says personally or to heart. With my INTJ, I've literally asked him to tell me when he needs space. I don't take that personally. I think I will ask him to add to that statement that he'll come back after the isolation.

    That's all I've got! Hope this is enlightening.






    .

  2. #42
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    The nice thing between Ne-dom and a Ni-dom, is that they both are open minded and peaking what is behind the curtain. Where as the other rational-dom prefer to sort out the logic before peaking.

  3. #43
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    The nice thing between Ne-dom and a Ni-dom, is that they both are open minded and peaking what is behind the curtain. Where as the other rational-dom prefer to sort out the logic before peaking.
    I've heard people say that Ni-doms are close-minded, particularly INTJs. I never found this to be true. I think you just have to close enough to pick up their thought waves and voice them...my INFJ daughter and INTJ say that I speak what they are thinking. I find the auto-prune before speaking fascinating...

  4. #44
    Member tommyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    57

    Default

    I'm sort of an INxJ, but I feel can relate to a lot of what's said about INTJs in this discussion. I love the ENFP type, it's my favourite. We really complement each other. I'd say in general that there could be some complications between highly rational INTJs and ENFPs on an emotional level. INTJs could find the ENFP gushy, and ENFPs could find the INTJ cold. Both types need to maintain regular communication.

    The ENFP shouldn't necessarily take the INTJ's quietness as aloofness. They usually actually enjoy being opened up like a clam by the ENFP, so it's important the ENFP teases them out of their shell often. The ENFP is one of the few types the INTJ is happy opening themselves up to. But tbf, most ENFPs can intuitively sense this I reckon.

  5. #45
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    297 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    3,192

    Default

    I feel like any sort of relationship an ENFP gets into, particularly when getting into one with an introvert, it's important to maintain an outside social circle of acquaintances or close friends as well. This should help to vent off some of the much-needed socializing needs of an ENFP. This can be as simple as maintaining simple relationships at work. However, just because ENFPs are extroverts, people shouldn't forget that they are probably the most introverted, of the extroverts, so the alone time sometimes required of their introverted significant other, doesn't necessarily mean it'll cause any strain either.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
    Likes Julius_Van_Der_Beak liked this post

  6. #46
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    297 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    3,192

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tommyc View Post
    I'm sort of an INxJ, but I feel can relate to a lot of what's said about INTJs in this discussion. I love the ENFP type, it's my favourite. We really complement each other. I'd say in general that there could be some complications between highly rational INTJs and ENFPs on an emotional level. INTJs could find the ENFP gushy, and ENFPs could find the INTJ cold. Both types need to maintain regular communication.

    The ENFP shouldn't necessarily take the INTJ's quietness as aloofness. They usually actually enjoy being opened up like a clam by the ENFP, so it's important the ENFP teases them out of their shell often. The ENFP is one of the few types the INTJ is happy opening themselves up to. But tbf, most ENFPs can intuitively sense this I reckon.
    These are some important incites! I think with me, since I do intuitively sense when an introvert needs alone time as you mention, I'm usually more than willing to give them that time and not have it negatively affect my needs for socializing, but as you say, perhaps I should put that spidey sense aside once in a while and push an INTJ or other introverted type to open up as well
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

  7. #47
    Member tommyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Precisely!

  8. #48
    Member tommyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Enthusiastic_Dreamer View Post
    I feel like any sort of relationship an ENFP gets into, particularly when getting into one with an introvert, it's important to maintain an outside social circle of acquaintances or close friends as well. This should help to vent off some of the much-needed socializing needs of an ENFP. This can be as simple as maintaining simple relationships at work. However, just because ENFPs are extroverts, people shouldn't forget that they are probably the most introverted, of the extroverts, so the alone time sometimes required of their introverted significant other, doesn't necessarily mean it'll cause any strain either.
    This is a good point to bear in mind for the introvert side. It's always important for them to remember that just because an ENFP wants to socialise with other people and not always been locked in with you, it doesn't mean they like you less. They just have different socialising needs.
    Likes Dreamer liked this post

  9. #49
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    I've heard people say that Ni-doms are close-minded, particularly INTJs. I never found this to be true. I think you just have to close enough to pick up their thought waves and voice them...my INFJ daughter and INTJ say that I speak what they are thinking. I find the auto-prune before speaking fascinating...
    Yup, it's true, when their Te is only supporting their own Ni, then they will appear closed minded. (well they are actually being closed minded). Until they understand how to use Te properly. Te should be countering their Ni instead, to form a healthy balance.

    edit: btw. that's exactly how I experience Ne. It's like my thoughts, externalised. So the play is there. However, what I find strange is. How ENTPs, perhaps male, find me... well they have some sort of dislike towards me. I am speculating that it might have something to do with gender rather.

  10. #50
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    PORG
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    9,056

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Enthusiastic_Dreamer View Post
    These are some important incites! I think with me, since I do intuitively sense when an introvert needs alone time as you mention, I'm usually more than willing to give them that time and not have it negatively affect my needs for socializing, but as you say, perhaps I should put that spidey sense aside once in a while and push an INTJ or other introverted type to open up as well
    I generally think it's a good idea to trust your spidey sense.
    Likes Dreamer, chubber liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Thoughts on an ENFP and ENxP relationship?
    By liesl16 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 06-23-2016, 01:52 AM
  2. [INTJ] ENFPS and INTJs
    By Julius_Van_Der_Beak in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 236
    Last Post: 10-26-2015, 03:04 AM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP and ENTP relationship
    By DisneyFanGirl in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 09-19-2013, 05:29 AM
  4. [ENFP] ENFP and INFP relationship
    By Lotr246 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-29-2013, 03:35 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO