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  1. #31
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bardsandwarriors View Post
    I wonder if living in a hidden lair near the North Pole would suit him.
    I like to say that I'd be perfectly content to be a hermit, as long as my cave had WiFi. But I'm not serious about it.

    But @Xander, I think you're right about NTs needing NFs. My ENFP best friend is one of the major reasons why I haven't turned my back on humanity. Even though sometimes I'd like to.
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  2. #32
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    I have an odd theory about the ENFP/INTJ relationship. First, I believe a functioning romantic relationship could work...or maybe I romanticized this unintentionally w/e. Anyways, I believe MBTI is a foundation for personalities, most people recognize this as well. It's a very useful tool if you don't use it for black and white thinking purposes. I have met many of INTJS and ENFPS particularly in the same friend group. We all knew each other in real life, but we gravitated towards each other more due to social media common interests. I strongly believe that INTJS and ENFPS need to see each other on social media or some form of online social interaction to truly attract each other. Real life interactions I believe can work out as well, but lets be honest I think the reason we are both so attracted to each other is because of our minds and thoughts. cliche as that sounds, I'm trying to be blunt to move on with my point.

    Also I tend to think of certain ENFP stereotypes and INTJ stereotypes, and how I've seen both personality types with three main categories of sub personalities? (obviously not their real personalities, I just do not know how to word myself) Oh god, I sound like an idiot. But I think this could make sense...

    Before I go along with my listing, I want to say I did a major project on MBTI in my High School for almost two and a half years. A lot of people were severely interested, and would come to discuss types with me. Along with faults and positive aspects of MBTI.

    ENFPs I've encountered more than once: The cute and nerdy disney lovin' theater kid who is always paranoid and rather obnoxious.
    The cynical dark humored ENFP. Is fairly intelligent, but has ego problems trying to deny emotions. Usually attempts to be artistic.
    The sort of content ENFP who is mellow, responsible career life/irresponsible emotional choices. Ends up losing themselves in stressful situations, sexual, yet moralized. the worse comes out in stressful situations.

    INTJS I've encountered more than once: (first off the confidence is always there, even when they doubt themselves)
    The obvious INTJ who does well in school, shows interests in power, very strong quiet confidence. is cynical doesn't care much about social interactions. Doesn't care about emotion development really, narrow minded in emotional development. Probably will be fine because of this trait, but will over all miss out. Has the true few friends.
    The artistic INTJ that comes across as a well developed ISFP ( I SEE THIS OFTEN) Likes hardcore music/pop punk??? also rap. Loves using their appearance to fool people. Has a well developed feeling side, BUT REFUSES TO BELIEVE IT. Loves to view social media as a form of comedy/amusment. Cynical, but see's the light in the dark. Doesn't have a strong self esteem as other INTJs would.
    The open minded mild tempered INTJ. Likes conversations about fantasies and emotions because they feel so intrigued by the thought process behind it. Has emotional development, but can clearly distinguish rational and emotional thoughts. obviously more rational, is not overwhelmed by much...but almost consumed by a neurotic boredom. Natural zen, but not spiritual what so ever. Is confused/sort of enraged by spirituality. But, is still way more open minded then other INTJS. Finds joy in nature/ sufficient living/ also technological advancement. Biggest downfall is not willing to understand the difference between a random feeling and a natural emotional reaction.

    OKAY, OKAY. I GET IT. I know these aren't really gender neutral, and kind of a narrow minded perspective. Also probably coming off very stupid in a way. Keep in mind I am 18, and there are many more male ENFPs and female INTJs in the world now. Numbers have probably changed for popularity within types. I have met 4 true INTJs who are/were my close friends. Two of them were girls, and true to their types. I also interviewed a lot of people in my school. A LOT of people had questions. I am horrible with my grammar/wording. I apologize. Also keeping the thought flow. I tend to jump on the ADD train and forget to come off. The reason I did more descriptions for INTJ sub personalities is for them to see my irrational theory, a little bit better. For I feel like ENFPs are highly aware of the sub personalities. ONCE AGAIN IT IS A FOUNDATION VIEW POINT. I AM NOT SAYING THE SUB PERSONALITY STEREOTYPES ARE THE REAL PERSONALITY, BUT INSTEAD LIKE A FOUNDATION.

    my main point: I feel as if INTJ and ENFPs do not have the initial text book attraction because they are at different stages of development. I actually do believe it is a close to perfect pairing. All the stereotypes I listed involve development of; the mental, physical and emotional self within the INTJ and ENFP. I believe the INTJ and ENFP all have these aspects of the stereotypes in their foundations. For the attraction to work, they have to have a similar part of their emotional/physical/mental self they're both working on. this is were alike wants do help attract opposites.

    I'm not going to list which stereotype is the emotional, physical or mental self. That question is purely up to you and your opinion to answer.

    I apologize if I come off like a scatter brain and completely inaccurate. I thought it was worth a shot discussing.

    On a personal note: I have only met INTJ friends I have my ups and downs with them. I think the main issue is trust. The best positive aspect is immense respect/loyalty. Trust issues are hard to really get into. We trust each other, but we don't at the same time...and I think it has to do with ENFPs unintentional double standards. Sorry we don't have well developed thinking lol.

    I've only been head over heels for one person. He was a very unhealthy ENFP. I was also very unhealthy at the time too, but in extreme denial.

    I AM MORE POSITIVE THAN I SEEM, TRUST ME?

    ok ya.
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde
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  3. #33
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    I also thought this might be a refreshing video for INTJS. I love this girls style, it would be so close to mine if I could think straight and didn't get way too hyped over colors... ALSO a lot of female INTJs I have met, have been some what like her. Well at least the ones that are my friends. Not saying you have to be this alternative looking artsy person, I just really like self expression. I find a bit of dramatic flair in a INTJs style?? to be extremely attractive. It just shows a part of their personality that they developed without the text book ENFP to help them. I'm not trying to be shallow, to me that is just a major accomplishment because they're asking to be judged for how they look. which is really surprising and out of their comfort zone. I see this happening more and more with my INTJ friends. it's F***ing cool.


    yolo
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde
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  4. #34
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Personally I think that every NT needs an NF close by just to feel like part of the human race some days.
    I agree with this very much.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  5. #35
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I like to say that I'd be perfectly content to be a hermit, as long as my cave had WiFi. But I'm not serious about it.

    But @Xander, I think you're right about NTs needing NFs. My ENFP best friend is one of the major reasons why I haven't turned my back on humanity. Even though sometimes I'd like to.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  6. #36
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post


    It's nothing personal. I just think human beings suck, that's all.

  7. #37
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    I have known several and they aren't really that great looking in from the outside. Neither side is fully satisfied and have to hold onto the little bit that does connect. The bending is finding a middle ground that goes against the essence of the other therefore it limits and puts a restraint on each others life.

    My parents are enfp/intj pairing. They have been together for over 30 years. Are they happy, somewhat, have they adapted yes. Do I want there relationship, no, I want more. I want happier, I want better, I don't want either partner to have to give up things they really enjoy just to make it work.

    My current gf was with an intj was she happy, no. But they stayed together off and on for 4-5 years. Everyone I met thanks me because she is so much happier now. They both tried to bend as it mentions on here to the point where neither was happy.

    Can you make it work and not be utterly miserable, yes. Can you they make it last, yes. Is it the closest to perfect? No, it ends up as simply 2 people who care about each other, love each other, but have settled for the sake of finding a way to make things work.

    Just my 2 cents, I would not want to be in this relationship if I were intj or enfp based on my observations.
    Im out, its been fun
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  8. #38
    Senior Member BluRoses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    No. Friends, great friends, absolutely and I will always feel that way. There is no way on this earth I could have a relationship with one. They aren't changing and I'm certainly not changing. Unless things ran very parallel, only intersecting once in awhile I can only see the offended and butthurt ENFP and the smothered and irritated INTJ. That said, I am sure there are ENFP/INTJ pairs that do work but I've never seen one.
    Basically this. My best friend since high-school (I'm in my 30's) is an INTJ and my past SO of multiple years is an ENFP. I know them both very well and I cannot imagine these two types getting along well except as friends. When kept at a slight distance they seem to appreciate each other, but if they were in a "relationship," it seems to me that ...well, what CeeCee said.

  9. #39
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    What do you think about relationships between ENFPs and INTJs? I can’t think of a particular pairing that I’ve seen mentioned more. The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

    When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
    - Why are they attracted to each other?
    - How to they compliment each other?
    - How well do they understand each other and why?
    - What are they like together raising children?

    I think they work well...I think the judgement function sharings in the middle (Fi/Te) accounts for something. I'm attracted to Fi types, period. There's something about it that I'm drawn to and intrigued by. Even outside of the m/f romantic relationship, I've found that I have good relationships with dudes who are Fi types (ENFPs, ESFPs, and INFP).
    But what makes the ENFPs special is that I'm able to talk to them about anything...and they roll with it. It's almost like nothing blows their mind. In my last relationship, with an ENFP, the thing that drew me to her was that we had the best conversations, and nothing I said seemed to lose her. It was great.
    I think the ENFPs like INTJs, because, in a sense, we compliment them in that we give them focus and structure to their ideas. Not their overall lives, as an SJ would most likely, but give them some depth, refinement, and focus to their dreams and aspirations. Nothing is too outrageous to at least discuss, so when they're Ne spouting, our cool calm demeanor helps them.

    I found that I did understand my ENFP very well. I don't read body language as a rule but if I'm interested in a person, I will study and learn them. So I got to learn my ENFP's body language and words used and all that and it helped me understand her.

    When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
    - How can they take each other for granted?
    - What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

    I will come back and update this

    Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an ENFP, what advice do you have for the INTJs?
    - If you are an INTJ, what advice would you have for the ENFPs?

    I will comeback and update this

  10. #40
    Senior Member Hapyniss's Avatar
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    "I like to say that I'd be perfectly content to be a hermit, as long as my cave had WiFi. "

    BadO - What is Wi and how does it balance Fi?

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