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Thread: The 5 sx/sp

  1. #1
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    Default The 5 sx/sp

    Any forumgoers identify with this type? I suspect that I may be 5w4 sx/sp but I'm pretty new to Enneagram and would like to hear the input of 5w4's and 5w6's. How do you go against stereotypical Type 5 descriptions? How are your relationships affected?

    From my understanding this makes a pretty contradictory type. On one hand I need lots of alone time to recharge, but in the presence of that one special person in my life, I can endure so much social interaction for hours or maybe even days at a time with that person. And they don't necessarily have to be a serious partner but a best friend will do. The ultimate goal in these relationships is to be able to feel comfortable feeling vulnerable around a person. To be able to strip down and expose all my flaws, insecurities, and feelings without worrying about someone's judgment in order to feel fulfilled in a relationship/friendship. Otherwise, I don't see the point of forming any relationships if I can't see the potential in them. Hence why I tend to be selective in my choices of who I let in.

  2. #2
    El Papagayo Osprey's Avatar
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    I used to, but I think I had it wrong. I'm extremely, introverted. The SX would temper that introversion. I think the reason I used to think that was me going to 7 at disintegration.
    Forget the dead you've left; they will not follow you.
    The vagabond who is rapping at your door, is standing in the clothes you once wore


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  3. #3
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter pettishrooms View Post
    Any forumgoers identify with this type? I suspect that I may be 5w4 sx/sp but I'm pretty new to Enneagram and would like to hear the input of 5w4's and 5w6's. How do you go against stereotypical Type 5 descriptions? How are your relationships affected?

    From my understanding this makes a pretty contradictory type. On one hand I need lots of alone time to recharge, but in the presence of that one special person in my life, I can endure so much social interaction for hours or maybe even days at a time with that person. And they don't necessarily have to be a serious partner but a best friend will do. The ultimate goal in these relationships is to be able to feel comfortable feeling vulnerable around a person. To be able to strip down and expose all my flaws, insecurities, and feelings without worrying about someone's judgment in order to feel fulfilled in a relationship/friendship. Otherwise, I don't see the point of forming any relationships if I can't see the potential in them. Hence why I tend to be selective in my choices of who I let in.
    To me, sx is just about intensification. I feel it connect to some e8 stuff, especially greed and lustfulness. It shows up in a possessiveness and desire for empowerment, as if I want to master control over verbalization so much, know what is needed to win/lead with the truth of what is actually going on, and secure different energy sources that help me accomplish goals. For me, the energy pattern of 5w4 is so intermittent, fussy, and thin. I love being able to make use of others energy to get charged and get things done. There's a possessiveness there too that wants those energies for myself, and I think the sx/sp push-pull can be directly connected with that. As a counter, trying to just give space and more space, diffuse conflict within myself, and get to a place relaxed enough to start listening to myself again, to concentrate/concentrate on my own presence, helps build boundaries that reinforce choice and responsibility.

    With growth the past 5-10 years, I've learned how to let go of so much more, which has helped create more consistent energy. I'm not great with focus or with just pushing thru to get things done, but I have truly learned how to not just desire but to actually APPRECIATE, which helps build momentum and positive energy. It also helps do so in a way that can be shared--when truly appreciating help, it's easier to ask for it, because you give something better back than this limbless neediness. It also helps energize and stoke a deeper value of contribution, which helps me get out of my own way and work on making things that build not only more inner resources but outer ones that I can trust will help guide me along too, validating efforts but also building alliances that are more organic and healthful and rooted in principles that just feel so much more sustainable and steadying. A healthier quality of relationship, which is so important when ideas can suddenly shift and alternate possibilities/realities/ideas spring up that set fire to my sense of security. Gotta remember to water the plants, lest everything turn into a wasteland.

    The more I learn to focus on getting better at concentrating thru feelings and navigating thru paths, the less I am clingy and the more trust I have in the process, as cliche and silly as that seems. It's just the way to do my best, and having that, possessing that, grows better things than possessing ideas or bodies/energies of others.
    Likes peter pettishrooms, Osprey liked this post

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    El Papagayo Osprey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post

    With growth the past 5-10 years, I've learned how to let go of so much more, which has helped create more consistent energy. I'm not great with focus or with just pushing thru to get things done, but I have truly learned how to not just desire but to actually APPRECIATE, which helps build momentum and positive energy. It also helps do so in a way that can be shared--when truly appreciating help, it's easier to ask for it, because you give something better back than this limbless neediness. It also helps energize and stoke a deeper value of contribution, which helps me get out of my own way and work on making things that build not only more inner resources but outer ones that I can trust will help guide me along too, validating efforts but also building alliances that are more organic and healthful and rooted in principles that just feel so much more sustainable and steadying. A healthier quality of relationship, which is so important when ideas can suddenly shift and alternate possibilities/realities/ideas spring up that set fire to my sense of security. Gotta remember to water the plants, lest everything turn into a wasteland.
    I changed my mind and decided I am sx/sp again.

    With regards to my own growth, I think I've become less mistrustful, but I also expect less of people. I don't really pigeonhole people into roles so much, like, is this person a friend, a potential lover, an enemy? I just let things develop organically rather than trying to categorize everyone into static categories that aren't really static. I'm also a lot more suspicious of the idea that if I just find one missing piece, this will solve everything for me forever. I'm a little regretful of that because it reflects the death of a romantic side of me, but maybe it primes me for better success. I feel like I have no other option left to me but to go it alone, but along with that, there's the awareness that everyone else is doing that too, so maybe that's ok.

    One thing I think I need that I don't currently have is a notion of something else I want from the world, and from life, that is entirely my own. I don't think I have that anymore, because my previous foundation was eroded. I'd kind of like it back, but I'm not sure that I can really put the genie back in the bottle. Right now I'm guided by the idea of different phases in life, and I'm embarking on a new journey, and while sometimes I feel sure that this is what I want, other times, I'm not so sure.
    Forget the dead you've left; they will not follow you.
    The vagabond who is rapping at your door, is standing in the clothes you once wore


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  5. #5
    Gryffindor Prefect OneLovelyAdventure's Avatar
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    Check out this link and scroll down about 3/4 of the way:
    Type 5 - Enneagram
    "You can't help respecting anybody who can spell 'Tuesday,' even if he doesn't spell it right, but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling 'Tuesday' simply doesn't count." -- Winnie the Pooh

    ENFP 3w2-7w6-8w7 sx/so
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    Sagittarius Sun | Sagittarius Moon | Aquarius Rising


  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Yeah, I identify much with the 5 sx/sp, including the list from OLA's post above.

    I tend to go between remaining aloof/distant (if I feel like the relationship cannot meet my needs) or total immersion (if I sense it could). Looking for that deep intensity of connection, with secret sharing and total acceptance between both partners. I am very accepting of my partner if we have the connection, warts and all, but I cannot bear someone who blocks themselves off from me or lies to me... i.e., doesn't trust me enough to be forthright and honest about their light and dark spots. I am very open too about my own darkness and need someone who can accept it. Again, if I sense the relationship can't go as deep as I want or the person can't be trusted, I withdraw and don't really invest further.

    I grew up in a religious environment + around a bunch of ISFJ folks, so I feel like I developed a sense of social propriety and expectations over time. When I was young, while I was polite, I would also blurt out things that people were like, "uh, that was inappropriate." Since I didn't want to make waves or hurt folks, I did learn to pay attention to how others might perceive me in general, but usually I just withdrew/didn't speak as openly in group settings; and I have found that I just don't care much about SO concerns... I have trouble investing in networks or maintaining casual relationships, and when I do they are unsatisfying. I just do it because it seems necessary in life. Usually I'm either alone or in some intense connection with someone, on those rare occasions I find someone who connects with me. I actually like people and find them interesting if they are being open/honest but just can't really maintain long contacts unless they are sharing some deep or meaningful things about themselves with me.... secret sharing.

    So yes, all this:
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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