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  1. #1
    Member Neokortex's Avatar
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    Default Sx first, initiate first?

    So I have a question for the Y generation, as me also being part of it. I have a strong Enneagram 6, so I'm somewhat conservative when it comes to getting to know people. But is it just my experience that rather the only way to make acquaintances for an So blind spot is to star doing it yourself? To pull myself up by the bootstraps, to reach out alone for waiting yielded no results? Going up to people and accosting them. We live in this overtechnologized world and nobody really bothers, in a sense everyone has become an "introvert" when it comes to socializing in the outside world from sources other than your best friend's friend's circles.

    And is it annoying only to me that people are unable to call on the phone, they'd rather text all the time? Do you find yourself waiting for that stage when you actually get to call the newly met person and he returns it, so both can hear each other's voices? But before that you find yourself almost being the sole initiator, akin to being clingy or desperate and receiving delayed half responses only?

    And the girls? The supposedly "weaker sex?" Do you proclaim to be Sx-first when basically waiting for the guy to do the job? How do Sx-first women initiate if at all? What's with that addiction to "peak experiences," "intensity," "experimentation," "taking risks," "recklessness-" what's with all these "macho" qualities when it comes to women? Is there such thing as "gender****" at all?
    Last edited by Neokortex; 11-04-2016 at 07:34 AM.

  2. #2
    A snowstorm is coming... Amargith's Avatar
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    I tap people on the shoulder with silly games and banter and i make sure to make myself memorable, especially with those that I want to get to know better. As a woman who likes to hunt, I tend to leave whack a guy over the head about 3-4 times, then I leave him alone. Most guys take it from there, ime
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  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    And is it annoying only to me that people are unable to call on the phone, they'd rather text all the time?
    I don't like talking on the phone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    Do you find yourself waiting for that stage when you actually get to call the newly met person and he returns it, so both can hear each other's voices? But before that you find yourself almost being the sole initiator, akin to being clingy or desperate and receiving delayed half responses only?
    Meh, no, but if I want to hang out with someone I'll make the effort. I'm not the type to wait on the sidelines for someone to give me attention.
    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    And the girls? The supposedly "weaker sex?" Do you proclaim to be Sx-first when basically waiting for the guy to do the job? How do Sx-first women initiate if at all?
    Me wait for someone? LOL. LOLOLOLOL.
    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    What's with that addiction to "peak experiences," "intensity," "experimentation," "taking risks," "recklessness-" what's with all these "macho" qualities when it comes to women? Is there such thing as "gender****" at all?
    Macho? PFFFT. It's not macho just cause we're direct. Ain't nobody got time for games.
    Likes chubber, MDP2525 liked this post

  4. #4
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    And the girls? The supposedly "weaker sex?" Do you proclaim to be Sx-first when basically waiting for the guy to do the job? How do Sx-first women initiate if at all? What's with that addiction to "peak experiences," "intensity," "experimentation," "taking risks," "recklessness-" what's with all these "macho" qualities when it comes to women? Is there such thing as "gender****" at all?
    How old are you?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  5. #5
    Don't mind me. Forever's Avatar
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    I share your sentiments that calling on the phone is difficult with the generation I'm in. It only seems to go further the younger the individual because technology is increasing in an alarming rate and yes even though I am the 90's kid, I still much prefer human to human interaction even it's slightly more uncomfortable than text.

    I can't see their body language or facial expressions no tone and even worse I can't express that to other people (which I think I am kind of terrible at too but at least it's just more practice) any potential date a girl says text me. I can't laugh with her, I can't know if she's actually laughing. Hell I can't tell if she's even becoming more comfortable with me. With calling you can drive if you have a headset and I will not text and drive.

    I also do find that even once extroverts found their niche they just stand in that group not even much more comfortable to allow new individuals in.

    I really think if people were more allowing we'd have a lot less hate crime because everybody could communicate things out and may even get better romantic relationships even.

    I both love and resent Susan Cain's book Quiet because it makes introverts known but it only gives everybody an excuse not to develop a relationship with another. Even some extroverts are mislabeling themselves as introverts as if it's the cool thing to do. They'll still socially isolate real introverts which is downright humiliating to the affected individuals.

    I have a catch 22 dilemma when it comes to girls. I approach it's hard and difficult and putting myself for confusion and possibly no relationship if there isn't a yes, and I really don't like being approached by women at least I don't think I'd been approached the way I'd feel comfortable. It really is frustrating.
    obviously you're going to get nothing from reading this

  6. #6
    Bot Alaska's Avatar
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    I don't always initiate, but when I don't, I don't hope for them to do it for me, and certainly don't expect it. If I can't do it myself, it's either luck or undeserved, and I will let the attraction go.
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  7. #7

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    I'm sx/sp, double withdrawn tritype and don't really go outside or do things like normal people, but I still take the effort to reach out to others online. That's also how I spotted and hunted down the man I'm engaged to now. He's the best thing I could ever hope for and I'm the one that initiated it. You gotta put yourself out there if you actually want some results, but of course it's not gonna be easy.

    I don't really experience your problem with calling on the phone. I've never waited for such a stage. Whenever I was attracted, it was an obvious thing to talk with the other person whether irl or on the phone. I just made it happen. No one ever likened me to being clingy or desperate because of that. Maybe you just need to learn to read others better?

  8. #8
    Demolition Disco Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    And is it annoying only to me that people are unable to call on the phone, they'd rather text all the time? Do you find yourself waiting for that stage when you actually get to call the newly met person and he returns it, so both can hear each other's voices? But before that you find yourself almost being the sole initiator, akin to being clingy or desperate and receiving delayed half responses only?
    There are few things more annoying to me than noticing that I've got a missed call from someone (and a new voicemail to check) as opposed to just getting a text message. I make exceptions for business contacts, but if you're friend or family, call only if it's an emergency. Otherwise I'm not getting back to you soon, and it's just gonna be one other thing on my mind that I have to remember to deal with.

    As for sexual interests, I've never really had to wait for anything (besides distances being closed). If I like you, I'll communicate whenever I want. Should my forward nature be a turn-off for someone, then it's just as well - they probably aren't a good match for my intensity, and we're both better off looking elsewhere. No problem.

    I'm just not much of a call person, even if there's mutual interest. You have to be some kind of special/interesting/exciting if it means I have to chain myself to a phone for a few hours - and most people don't have that level of juice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex
    And the girls? The supposedly "weaker sex?" Do you proclaim to be Sx-first when basically waiting for the guy to do the job? How do Sx-first women initiate if at all? What's with that addiction to "peak experiences," "intensity," "experimentation," "taking risks," "recklessness-" what's with all these "macho" qualities when it comes to women? Is there such thing as "gender****" at all?
    HA. I don't even know where to start with this mess.

    I am definitely Sx-first, and I don't often wait for the guy to make the first move. This is particularly true if the chemistry has escalated to a point where emotions might actually get involved, or if I'd really quite like to have sex with him. Sometimes I do indeed let the guy make the first move, generally if the situation doesn't matter much to me. (Take, for instance, a bar or club setting, where sometimes it's kinda fun to let the sharks swarm before selecting a favorite to play with for the rest of the night.)

    As for the peak highs, intense experiences, risk-taking behavior, etc., I mean...yeah? I've got all of that and then some. A lot of women do. If it's too "macho" and you don't like it or can't believe that it exists, then I guess you'll have to be content with a personality more demure and contained, as that may well be more in line with your comfort or experience level.
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  9. #9
    Member Neokortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dyslexxie View Post
    Macho? PFFFT. It's not macho just cause we're direct. Ain't nobody got time for games.
    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    How old are you?
    I'm the 27. How old are You? Yupp, although women can and do have strength, strength and the stuff I listed are somehow, by gendered stereotype?, connected to masculine qualities. I've met daring women but they seem to be extremely rare.
    Last edited by Neokortex; 11-04-2016 at 07:36 AM.

  10. #10
    TypologyBentral.Bom chickpea's Avatar
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    idk, i find making people chase me more empowering than being the one doing the chasing. but i haven't dated for over 5 years so i don't even know anymore.
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