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  1. #21
    Unapologetically Curious Enthusiastic_Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Very interesting. If you were to flip or substitute the words "work" and "socialize" for each other in this sentence, then i would fully relate hahaha :P
    Hahaha aww that's slightly terrifying
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Ok, so I've heard that being so dom, can be similar to having a "separate social identity." It's as in how an sp dom has a "bubble" or a "dome" around them. So doms seem to be somewhat separate from their social self.

    What I'm wondering is, do you ever get tired of having put up this social identity? I know that it's still you, but isn't it a lot of work to have to keep this up every time you want to talk to someone? I find if i try to practice this, I can only do it for about an hour and then i'm completely exhausted. Is it curiosity that keeps you into the whole social dynamic thing? Do you view it like a fun activity or something?

    Don't know if any of you guys have any input : @Enthusiastic_Dreamer , @Hawthorne, @Yamato Nadeshiko @Floki @Virtual ghost

    But anyone can answer
    I am the end justifies the means type of a person and if I have to do it I do it. Also I often enjoy in the fact that the other person doesn't have me on a plate ... and they don't even think about it.

    On the other hand this helps me quite a bit since otherwise I would come as very rude person. Since I am certain that believes of most people are often nonesense and therefore I would not care at all to point out this to them, therefore I use more strategic approach in doing this and I pick my fights. It really is just another form of self preservation if you think about it.

    (So/Sp biased answer)

  3. #23
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    I am the end justifies the means type of a person and if I have to do it I do it. Also I often enjoy in the fact that the other person doesn't have me on a plate ... and they don't even think about it.

    On the other hand this helps me quite a bit since otherwise I would come as very rude person. Since I am certain that believes of most people are often nonesense and therefore I would not care at all to point out this to them, therefore I use more strategic approach in doing this and I pick my fights. It really is just another form of self preservation if you think about it.

    (So/Sp biased answer)
    Yea, I'm thinking that a contra-flow approach such as so/sp might help me develop this skill slightly easier.

    If you could elaborate at all i'd be very appreciative. Does it feel like a business transaction or something?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yea, I'm thinking that a contra-flow approach such as so/sp might help me develop this skill slightly easier.

    If you could elaborate at all i'd be very appreciative. Does it feel like a business transaction or something?

    It is more like "it simply is" ... just as you are doing your thing.
    You know what you want, or what is best on the long run, you know where is power, you know where are leverages, ... and you push things/people in that direction. In the case you don't know you research this or give this as a task to someone else. This is NTJ biased answer but the thing is that people often get lost or they start some kind of fights ... and therefore someone has to step in and make people come to reason, otherwise we will all suffer even bigger loses down the road. There were countless situations where I was the only one who held the entire thing togather and I tends to see myself as "last line of defense". My So instinct came from the fact that I am from country that is quite left in the terms of economy and I am also warzone child ... therefore for me ignoring social sphere was often often very very bad idea. You don't have to engage it but you must be aware of it.

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yea, I'm thinking that a contra-flow approach such as so/sp might help me develop this skill slightly easier.

    If you could elaborate at all i'd be very appreciative. Does it feel like a business transaction or something?

    So, how is the developing and surviving thing going ?

  6. #26
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    So, how is the developing and surviving thing going ?
    Well...ha... I think I am aware of some social things, but I discount them as being important or even relevant at times.

    I think the biggest problem is that I see where the power and leverage are....but I resist accepting that as a valid way of getting what I want. It feels dirty. Been slowly trying to get over that "dirty" feeling. But it feels dirty, because I feel like I'm using someone. And that goes against my Fi's valid "process" of how I like to complete things. Meaning the results aren't worth it if the process is done unjustly. Or the ends don't justify the means to me, at least not when it involves people. When it involves systems, sure.

    @Enthusiastic_Dreamer, I'm curious if you know what I mean? And if you could share your perspective as well?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  7. #27
    Senior Member erg's Avatar
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    I made this list for myself:

    -Try to smile in pictures. Practice in front of the mirror.
    -When you find yourself involved in conversation with more than 3 people, don't retreat into your bubble.
    Make an effort to be more sociable.
    -When somebody jokes with you, try to joke back.
    -Stop trying to find your soulmate in every attractive girl/person you find. You don't need to look deep into the eyes of each of these persons.
    -Join a dating website. But don't be mistaken, don't do it with the only goal of finding a partner; do it for the social interaction.
    -Try not to withdraw entirely from interacting with a person when you feel that you have socialized enough with them. People don't like that.
    -Lighten up.

  8. #28
    I wonder................. Cat Brainz's Avatar
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    As a so dom i feel qualified to comment.

    . Dont feel the need to be super outgoing as so doms need our space as well so we dont expect you be talking 24/7.

    . Make an attempt to be polite and follow the social rules set.

    . (For Sx doms) Take it easy and be careful you dont push So doms away.

    . (For Sp doms) Trust other people and dont push others away with mistrust.
    7w6 9w1 3w4

    you are brain in a jar in a cheshire cat wearing wonka's hat - Gentleman Jack

  9. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Well...ha... I think I am aware of some social things, but I discount them as being important or even relevant at times.

    I think the biggest problem is that I see where the power and leverage are....but I resist accepting that as a valid way of getting what I want. It feels dirty. Been slowly trying to get over that "dirty" feeling. But it feels dirty, because I feel like I'm using someone. And that goes against my Fi's valid "process" of how I like to complete things. Meaning the results aren't worth it if the process is done unjustly. Or the ends don't justify the means to me, at least not when it involves people. When it involves systems, sure.
    Ok, because I see that this thread died after my post, so I am simply wondering why.

  10. #30
    Unapologetically Curious Enthusiastic_Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Well...ha... I think I am aware of some social things, but I discount them as being important or even relevant at times.

    I think the biggest problem is that I see where the power and leverage are....but I resist accepting that as a valid way of getting what I want. It feels dirty. Been slowly trying to get over that "dirty" feeling. But it feels dirty, because I feel like I'm using someone. And that goes against my Fi's valid "process" of how I like to complete things. Meaning the results aren't worth it if the process is done unjustly. Or the ends don't justify the means to me, at least not when it involves people. When it involves systems, sure.

    @Enthusiastic_Dreamer, I'm curious if you know what I mean? And if you could share your perspective as well?
    Hmm ya, I know what you mean, Ura. I'm totally fine playing the game, just so long as I am true to myself. What that means is that I play by my own moral standards and what I value, to get ahead. Some of those very basic traits like having a strong work ethic, being open and honest, and owning up to your faults, just so happen to work well for me. I'd feel SO nasty if I tried the brown nosing thing or took the credit someone else deserved. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to where I want to be, but within my Fi. That way, no boundaries are stepped over and I don't go home at the end of the day questioning who that was earlier doing this or that.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

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