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Thread: Blindspots: Last Instincts

  1. #1
    So she did. Array small.wonder's Avatar
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    Default Blindspots: Last Instincts

    We talk a lot about Instinctual Stack around here, which consist of the two instinctual emotional needs that we subconsciously prioritize, of the existing three. What I have been a bit more focused on of late, is my blindspot or that instinct that's hanging out in left field, neglected. I've found that paying attention to this last instinct is really essential to growth and health-focus, regardless of what a person's stack is.

    What is your neglected instinct?

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?
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  2. #2
    So she did. Array small.wonder's Avatar
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    Ha, thanks! @Qlip

    I may as well respond to the questions to get the ball rolling.

    What is your neglected instinct?

    Sp

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

    In a lot of different ways, honesty. I tend to be really bad about sustinence/provision/safety related things. I literally forget to eat if I'm not careful about it-- I love food, and cooking, it just doesn't occur to me until I'm famished sometimes. "Foolhardy" is the best word I can find to describe the main issue with being Sp-last, in that I just don't tend to register (or take to heart?) risk very often. This reflects in the way I drive, financial matters, even things like having window blinds open, being very open with my feelings/thoughts or forgetting to remove my pocket knife from my keys before going to the airport.

    I experience being Sp-last as somewhat being fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, because of that lack of security awareness-- in some ways, I actually think this is one of the reasons some people see me as INFP, instead of INFJ, because I'm much less of a "planner". Things I miss out on, or neglect: I definitely get sun burned, rained on and almost run out of gas more frequently than other people. I've probably gotten hurt more (emotionally and physically), but most of the time the risks I take do not actually end in catastrophe. If I'm honest, it's probably by a slim margin sometimes though.



    *One last note about the financial thing. It isn't really about spending foolishly, but more like forgetting that money/material things are a thing (or not seeing it as important) in all ways-- this can be good and/or bad since I neglect to give it attention. I actually think the most money/material-conscious (for better and for worse) people I know are Sp-first.

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

    The non-relational stuff I already addressed above. Relationally, I've actually had a lot of (undesired) exposure to Sp because both my Mom and Dad are Sp-first. It's a good thing though, because it's helped me to learn how to respect people's Sp needs, even if I think they are silly. Examples are giving them space and a pre-determined span of time to move away from conflict, to process and feel secure before we resolve the conflict. For most of my life, I didn't allow this and saw their departure as avoidance and refusal to engage with me. I still do that sometimes, where I just continue to move towards, and unintentionally make them feel antagonized.

    Being Sp-last also makes all of your loved ones concerned for your well being in general-- or maybe that's just because many of them are not Sp-last. The inverse is also a relational issue: my loved ones being a lot more prone to worry, fear and hyper-planning, which I tend to question.

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

    Heck, yes. When I was totally unaware of this blind spot, I think I actually was sort of in danger sometimes. I did a lot of stupid (rash) things. At least now being aware of it, I can usually stop in the moment, weigh the choice I'm making and then go from there.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my short four question Enneagram survey!✨
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  3. #3
    corona Array Hawthorne's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?

    sx apparently? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

    I've been told that I keep my pools very shallow. According to my Nohari, I somehow simultaneously come across as friendly and aloof. I could speculate that it makes it easier for me to disengage from relationships that make ugly U-turns. That and the whole, "i want people to know me" thing has never been high on my priorities list.

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

    Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. -Pessoa

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

    I do not think I have evolved to this stage yet.
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    Another sx last...though I think it perhaps occurred in part as a defense mechanism against social anxiety.

    Intimate relationships aren't really a priority for me or really needed. Sometimes they are desired, but it's nothing like my older brother who has sx in his first or second spot. I also don't really like to display affection toward others.

    I haven't really tried to utilize it much, but I suppose I do a bit on the forums sometimes. I don't know that it has really helped me grow at all sx-wise.
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  5. #5
    You are what you love Array themightyfetus's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?

    Self-preservation.

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?


    Lack of self-control and moderation. I find that I'm the opposite of @small.wonder in that I end up eating way too much. I don't even bother to look at nutrition facts. I stay up too late without really thinking about the consequences of being tired in the morning. Sometimes I admittedly neglect showering for a few days. I overestimate myself. I'm prone to saying, "Oh, I'll be fine" when I'm really not. I'm kind of the human version of "Tis but a scratch." I've walked home on a sprained ankle, gotten heat exhaustion, gotten sunburned, and gone to school with fevers because I underestimate how serious something might actually be.

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?


    People close to me worry that I'll end up hurting myself or becoming addicted to something. When I'm upset, I tend to be somewhat impulsive, not really heeding any consequences. Though by impulsive I really mean in an emotional sense--I rush into relationships or situations that might hurt me. My social and sexual instincts are just so pronounced that I'll do something at the expense of myself in order to fulfill those desires or the desires of my core Enneatype. To others I've had issues with seeming attention-seeking, spacey, or impulsive.

    I think also the reason I didn't type as a 6 for a long time is because of my self-preservational instinct being last. So much of 6 descriptions focus on physical security, which isn't my main focus. My security is centered around my so/sx needs, so I don't mesh super well with most 6 descriptions.

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

    I haven't tried a whole lot because it doesn't really matter a whole lot to me. Even this is probably telling of my sp-last personality. I just don't even bother.
    Do what your younger self never thought she could do.
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  6. #6
    Clean Slate Array CitizenErased's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?

    Social

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

    In general, I don't like large groups, I feel uncomfortable being surrounded by people 24/7. When people from my group of classmates, etc organize too many reunions, I go to the first and then pass. Sometimes that derives in people going away, and I'm not worried about it. I'm definitely not interested in other people's lives, pet peeves, favourite actors, crushes, etc. I abhor small talk, my best friends are about the same, we organize ourselves to have "me-times" in a synchronized way so we can meet and see each other in our attacks of social needs. Fail to do? I'm quite shy sometimes (depending on what situation I'm in), but that isn't necessarily related to me being sp/sx. Maybe I fail to be more responsive to others' needs/conversations, etc. I just listen, maybe throw in a joke nobody understands and then be silent again, especially when I'm in a large group or it's a one-on-one conversation with someone I have nothing in common. Sometimes it's awkward, but it doesn't really bother me. Then I go home alone to be happy.


    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?


    Probably because of my refusal to talk to people. It's not that I can't, but the fact that most people don't interest me as much as what I could be doing if I were rich and had a whole house for myself, full of musical instruments, watercolours, Wi-Fi, computer for my novels and an endless library with books. I daydream a lot. Also, as I said, many people can adapt to my excessive amount of alone time, or the fact that I don't like clubbing, or going to bars, large parties, etc, and they tend to leave me and find partners that have the same likes as them. I really don't care much because I don't like beng with people who can't understand my way of being and don't like being with me, so for me it's a win-win.

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?


    I tried to be more social, and people liked me more, but it made me unhappy, because it was a terrible effort and it ended in constant stress: "whyyyyy do I have to answer people this week if I can reply in a month?"/"whyyyyyyy did they decide to make a Whatsapp group? I hate it!"/"I don't want anyone to come to my fortress (house) because then they'll know my address and present themselves uninvited, and I'm going to shut the door on their face", etc. In short periods of time (max. 4 hours) I can appear to be really... attuned to my surroundings. After that, I disconnect and start my "me-time" inside my head while people think I'm paying attention to them. Not ashamed.
    MBTI: INTP (though I'm PINT-sized) * Ti = Ne > Fi > Ni > Si > Te = Se >>> Fe
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  7. #7
    Honor Thy Inferior Array Such Irony's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?
    SX

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?
    Ambivalence towards intimate relationships and committing myself to them, plays it too safe- fear of taking big risks, fear of being overwhelmed by too much intensity.

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?
    I dislike clingy relationships, It's hard to 'sacrifice' myself and my well being for another. I need more time to myself and personal space than most. Also I seem to lack the charisma and 'juice' so I can be rather boring to others on the surface.

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?
    N/A
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne



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  8. #8
    Senior Member Array Mal12345's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?

    As an INTP, the Social instinctual is my neglected instinct. It makes sense typologically speaking that this would be the case.

    How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

    The realm of socialization. I don't miss it though. It does cause other issues that affected me in indirect ways.

    How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

    I've been working on it. I think people saw me as someone who hates you individually, when in fact I hate you collectively. No, I don't really hate. I just feel better when people aren't around because they bother me so much, especially the blah blah blah extroverts who won't shut up.

    If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?[/COLOR]

    This last 3 1/2 years I've been forced to talk to people more because of the job I took at that time. This has helped a great deal.
    "But you forget that there is one value that is greater than all others: human freedom. Because no matter how perfectly you set the world up for humanity, they will always rebel simply to exert their own selves. You cannot win."
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  9. #9
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think mine is SO

    i'm not entirely convinced of my etyping and haven't been for years....but! if i am SO last i'd guess it comes out in my preference to do my own thing rather than play nice with a group. i can be sort of loan wolf-y in that way...altho i do think of myself as mostly social.

    haven't decided if i need to work on it yet. ha!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
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  10. #10
    just hanging in limbo Array Smilephantomhive's Avatar
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    What is your neglected instinct?

    SX

    I don't think It's a big deal I think out of all the typology systems that I know of instinctual variants seem to be more egotistical. And by egotistical I mean that I don't think Sx (my blindspot) is important. But maybe that's because instinctual variants are all about importance. Like you use which aspect of life is most important to find our your type. But anyway for the time being I don't think my sx blindness affects me that negatively. In fact I think it helps me not get too attached to people. And I've seen so many relationships gone wrong. it's best to stay away from those for now.

    I wonder if I will regret my lack of close bonding in the future, but there are only so many things you can focus on. And Sx type things just don't seem important to me.
    "Avoid getting too preoccupied thinking about what you’re going to do, to actually do it."
    — Rachel Wolchin

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