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    Default Question about So instinct

    I am wondering about certain things about So instinct for quite some time.


    It is said that So instinct is defined as a way of "paying attention to" or "supporting" social norms. But this is unclear definition to me.
    What if you are paying quite a bit of attention to social norms but with direct desire to challange them ? Since you seem them as wrong or uneffective for the situation. Or this simply means that you are social last but you have developed sx instinct that forces your vision of reality and values upon others ?


    Similarminds tests that have variant factor in them claim that I am Sp/Sx but I see myself as too aware of the state of social structures to be believe this.
    Can So instinct have two versions like e6 ? "Classical Social" and "Challenging/reformist".
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    Senior Member Array RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    What if you are paying quite a bit of attention to social norms but with direct desire to challange them ?


    How do you intend to "challenge them" ? What for ?


    I have an sx instinct so social norms are naturally ignored, viewed as useless, boring, or swept away by my dear conscious mind
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    This user is always right Array geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Default Question about So instinct

    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    I am wondering about certain things about So instinct for quite some time.


    It is said that So instinct is defined as a way of "paying attention to" or "supporting" social norms. But this is unclear definition to me.
    What if you are paying quite a bit of attention to social norms but with direct desire to challange them ? Since you seem them as wrong or uneffective for the situation. Or this simply means that you are social last but you have developed sx instinct that forces your vision of reality and values upon others ?
    It is important for so to be accepted and perceived in certain (usually positive) image by the society or group, so if they want to challenge the social norms it is usually for what they think is beneficial for the group rather than their own good..
    However "challenging" seems to have sx involved, however, I think gradual changing rather than challenging is more beneficial and wiser..
    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    Similarminds tests that have variant factor in them claim that I am Sp/Sx but I see myself as too aware of the state of social structures to be believe this.
    Can So instinct have two versions like e6 ? "Classical Social" and "Challenging/reformist".
    Everyone can be aware of the social structure, but I think instinct is about how you process and/or perceive them or deal with them..
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedAmazoneFriendZone View Post

    What if you are paying quite a bit of attention to social norms but with direct desire to challange them ?


    How do you intend to "challenge them" ? What for ?


    I have an sx instinct so social norms are naturally ignored, viewed as useless, boring, or swept away by my dear conscious mind

    I often challange what people think even if they are authority and I just have to drill through stuff to see what is behind it. I do so for the sake of efficiency and sometimes fun.
    Also I repair/remake things that doesn't work very well, or pull in someone in this endeavour. Often I am considered controversal on wide range of topics and I like that, however I really prefer that my ideas or physical impact have good/positive social consequences.


    It is often said that So last is pretty oblivious about social rules and structures. While I am pretty aware of how things work and who and what needs to be done, but I often don't accept many "norms". I don't go into crime at all but I challange various protocols, traditions, situations and offer alternatives, what can result with intimidating image (that I often like to have actually). However in general I am defined by others as loner/rogue, while I think that I am simply born in wrong/messy country.

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    What's your enneagram? It may be helpful to filter instincts through your enneagram type, because instincts tend to look quite different this way.

    In my case, I'm social last, and I lost track the number of times I've pissed people off or trampled over someone's sensibilities, especially on the internet. When I was younger it used to trip me up, and I used to examine what went wrong. I'm not really an aggressive person unless pushed. Anyways, I disagree with what's said in the OP regarding how social is about supporting social norms. I see guys like Marilyn Manson typed as some combo of so-first/second and he's always shitting on social mores.

    There were instinct notes posted by someone on another forum I found useful. It's here.

    Some things which stood out to me personally (as a social-last):

    Regarding SX:
    ~ attraction: what we're attracted to and what we attract / magnetism (and its opposite, repulsion)
    ~ fear is of not "getting to something" (climax, literally and figuratively), restlessness, sense that your life is, or needs to be, moving toward some kind of climax

    Regarding SP:
    ~ when rigid or anxious about this instinct, there can be a sense of chronos time being scarce, time always running out
    ~ one distortion is go-go too much, another distortion is lethargy. if you attend to the body's messages, either of these will correct itself.
    ~ sp-dominant tend to feel self-contained and place higher value on privacy

    Regarding SO:
    ~ ability to adapt behavior
    ~ awareness of the other (compare with sx awareness of the energy between two people, soc brings awareness of the other as themselves, as a person in their own right) and of how one's self and the other are affecting each other

    When soc is the blind spot:
    ~ opportunities to be with others are seen in terms of "what will it cost me". Can be a feeling of not caring, of being excessively selfish.
    ~ talking to self, may be really talking to self even when ostensibly talking to others, interrupting
    ~ always a feeling of not having made one's contribution even when one actually is contributing

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duffy View Post
    What's your enneagram? It may be helpful to filter instincts through your enneagram type, because instincts tend to look quite different this way.

    In my case, I'm social last, and I lost track the number of times I've pissed people off or trampled over someone's sensibilities, especially on the internet. When I was younger it used to trip me up, and I used to examine what went wrong. I'm not really an aggressive person unless pushed. Anyways, I disagree with what's said in the OP regarding how social is about supporting social norms. I see guys like Marilyn Manson typed as some combo of so-first/second and he's always shitting on social mores.

    There were instinct notes posted by someone on another forum I found useful. It's here.

    Some things which stood out to me personally (as a social-last):
    Thanks.

    Well that link makes me what I thought I was for years Sp/So.
    However it occured to me that perhaps I am taking wrong definition/model and what I do can indeed can pass as Sp/Sx. Especially since my So and Sx in my opinion are not that far apart.

    My problem is that I don't lost track of things as much I think that the some idea/situation is bad and should be challanged for the good of me and everbody else. (but that is obviously due to my 8w9 core that can be very pushy with people and things)

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    the social instinct is about bonding. plain and simple....it's what social firsts do. they bond.

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    Yeah, I am not part of most social norms/ norm lifestyles or interests or life path. I am starting to think I'm heading down the path of becoming the odd spinster lady or something, lol. But the thing is, is I am *aware* of the norms, but I'm not out there to get in peoples' faces and challenge them if they are following a norm I myself don't follow. What makes me so dom I think is that I'm aware, so I don't put my foot in my mouth and offend people or push their buttons. I also have much more important things in life to concern myself about than getting up in arms with people about their own choices -- so yeah, I keep the peace. If I am not fitting in, I'll just stay quiet typically, or just won't hang out with those people in the future. Also, being so dom I'm sensitive to knowing if and when I don't fit in, and that can make me very self conscious and uncomfortable, especially in a group setting. I'm basically fine at getting along with most people, finding some sort of common ground, but I think it's totally pointless to push my own agenda and opinions on people, esp if I know they're not going to budge. I also think it's annoying, and I get annoyed with people who are pushy with their own viewpoints. I don't push mine on you!l

    I think so dom too is more naturally attuned with social dynamics, interplay, relationships, so since they have that info/are observant or keyed into that stuff, they tend to avoid conflicts, as a previous post mentioned, adapt more to individual quirks/dynamics.

    Mbti is also going to factor in.
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    Awareness of norms as they affect self, effort to challenge strongly correlated with ROI and cost.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    It is said that So instinct is defined as a way of "paying attention to" or "supporting" social norms. But this is unclear definition to me.
    What if you are paying quite a bit of attention to social norms but with direct desire to challange them ? Since you seem them as wrong or uneffective for the situation. Or this simply means that you are social last but you have developed sx instinct that forces your vision of reality and values upon others ?


    Similarminds tests that have variant factor in them claim that I am Sp/Sx but I see myself as too aware of the state of social structures to be believe this.
    Can So instinct have two versions like e6 ? "Classical Social" and "Challenging/reformist".
    I think many of the political leaders have social instinct, and they didn't get to their offices by playing nice and abiding by social norms all the time.

    Social instinct watches out for social acceptance and recognition but only by people who matter to the social instinct person. Social firsts can be downright rude to a person they dislike or someone who they see as their opposition or object of envy. I've witnessed this happen many times. This creates a kind of paradoxical behavior - social instinct seeks social acceptance, but it could be within a revolutionary or counter-culture group that goes against the standard social norms and encourages the social instinct person to go against the grain.

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