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Thread: Being so/sx

  1. #21
    Dead astronaut Array Lia_kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I generally only like this subtype if they're gut types (with particular disdain for 4s, 6s and 7s of this subtype).
    How come? Curious..
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  2. #22
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Just to whine a little bit:

    I have so many friends who I want to get to know better, and I just don't have the time or the energy.

    If I drop off the map, it's (probably) not because I don't like you -- it's because you fell off my radar.

    It sounds bad, but... :/
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
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  3. #23
    Certified Sausage Smoker Array Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by florpoetis View Post
    How come? Curious..
    Social 4: perpetually over-dramatic, "woe is me" and victim playing
    Social 6: hyper rules, authority and bureaucracy oriented (think the military of most countries)
    Social 7: pretentious, pseudo-spirtual hippies who are actually charlatans talking out of their asses

    Edit: I'm adding Social 5 to the list too, because they glorify the shit out of being intellectual for its own sake as the pinnacle of existence.
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  4. #24
    ƲιƖƖαgє Ƥяєттувσу Array Yamato Nadeshiko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    Social 6: hyper rules, authority and bureaucracy oriented (think the military of most countries)
    The so/sp 6 is a lot more authority-focused than the so/sx 6, which cares more about connection with individuals than with organizations and groups like the so/sp 6. This is actually a major reason why when I (&friends) decided I'm not sp-first, it made more sense for me to be so/sx than so/sp (because so/sx is much lighter). That, and so/sx is synflow while so/sp is contraflow.

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    Also, popping in to say hello. It's been a few days but my mind is still boggled over this whole sp-last thing. Please tell me more about this.
    "Yeah, there wasn't a lot to do back on the old farm. Just sit back, think about things, and then repress those thoughts immediately..."

    previously known as 21lux
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  5. #25
    I am Array Fay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    For me:

    I spread myself thin, socially. I'm friendly with a whole lot of people, and bad at maintaining contact with many of them, but that doesn't keep me from trying. It's a constant struggle to not completely fall off the map with everyone who isn't in my immediate vicinity.

    I'm good at being in small to medium-sized groups. Groups where I can guarantee that I like everybody. I have a hard time being in groups of people where I don't like everybody. When I was younger, I tended to not be a member of any group because I liked to curate my group, only hanging out with the people I liked. The problem was that that wasn't all that sustainable in the long run, because those people had their own groups that they were loyal to -- whereas the only commonality of my group was me.

    Needless to say, all the social-first things are true: I view things in terms of groups, hierarchies, power dynamics. I'm pretty stereotypically social-first in that I follow politics pretty closely, I almost feel like I have a moral obligation to know what's going on in the world, and to help out in any way I can (social-first 1 reporting for duty). And sexual-second... it's tough because as a Te-dom I'm not that touchy-feely, but I resonate a lot with sp-last descriptions (I burn myself out on the regular), and I put a lot of energy into my top two love languages (Acts of Service and Quality Time).
    I never felt like I have an issue with maintaining close relationships. Actually if a relationship it is not close is not a real relationship for me. So I either have very close friends or just people I came across, but nothing in between.
    I remember when I dated my ex, he usually said stuff like; "My friends are your friends too." But I never saw it like that, because if there is a lack connection between me and others, I don't think they are my friends.
    When I really want someone to be my friend, I make as much effort as I possibly can to establish a deep bound between us, I don't forget people. And usually I feel like I am comfortable with what I have, with friends that I already have and I don't feel the need to make new ones. I more prone to make an older relationship deeper than to establish a completely new one.

    Maybe I am sx first
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  6. #26
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inis Mona View Post
    I never felt like I have an issue with maintaining close relationships. Actually if a relationship it is not close is not a real relationship for me. So I either have very close friends or just people I came across, but nothing in between.
    I remember when I dated my ex, he usually said stuff like; "My friends are your friends too." But I never saw it like that, because if there is a lack connection between me and others, I don't think they are my friends.
    When I really want someone to be my friend, I make as much effort as I possibly can to establish a deep bound between us, I don't forget people. And usually I feel like I am comfortable with what I have, with friends that I already have and I don't feel the need to make new ones. I more prone to make an older relationship deeper than to establish a completely new one.

    Maybe I am sx first
    This does sound sx-first, yeah.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #27
    I am Array Fay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This does sound sx-first, yeah.
    You just made me doubt my whole stacking lol thanks EJCC
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  8. #28
    ƲιƖƖαgє Ƥяєттувσу Array Yamato Nadeshiko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I spread myself thin, socially. I'm friendly with a whole lot of people, and bad at maintaining contact with many of them, but that doesn't keep me from trying. It's a constant struggle to not completely fall off the map with everyone who isn't in my immediate vicinity.

    I'm good at being in small to medium-sized groups. Groups where I can guarantee that I like everybody. I have a hard time being in groups of people where I don't like everybody.
    Quote Originally Posted by Inis Mona View Post
    I never felt like I have an issue with maintaining close relationships. Actually if a relationship it is not close is not a real relationship for me. So I either have very close friends or just people I came across, but nothing in between.
    I remember when I dated my ex, he usually said stuff like; "My friends are your friends too." But I never saw it like that, because if there is a lack connection between me and others, I don't think they are my friends.
    I can actually relate a lot to both of these. I'm friendly with everyone (my only qualification for whether I like someone or not is if they're nice to me, and my definition of nice basically just means "not mean") but I am really, really bad at maintaining contact. I have my close friends, who I keep in regular contact with, and then I have friends who are my friends because we were friends in elementary and high school but we rarely ever talk (seriously really bad at maintaining these friends), and then strangers. I haven't been able to make any non-online friends in many years because of how poor I am at maintaining budding friendships. Then they just end up kinda dying (this may also be where my introversion plays in). It's like I have friends and then friendly strangers and then strangers and not really any in between.

    I also prefer small groups to large groups and one-on-one. Small groups are small enough for me to feel comfortable participating, but one-on-one can be extremely intimidating to me if I don't know the person well.
    "Yeah, there wasn't a lot to do back on the old farm. Just sit back, think about things, and then repress those thoughts immediately..."

    previously known as 21lux
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  9. #29
    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Revisiting this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inis Mona View Post
    I never felt like I have an issue with maintaining close relationships. Actually if a relationship it is not close is not a real relationship for me. So I either have very close friends or just people I came across, but nothing in between.
    I remember when I dated my ex, he usually said stuff like; "My friends are your friends too." But I never saw it like that, because if there is a lack connection between me and others, I don't think they are my friends.
    I do relate to this, but I usually phrase it much more optimistically.

    My hierarchy is as follows:

    1. Very close friends
    2. Friends
    3. Friendly acquaintances

    The generous phrasing in #3 is because a lot of the time, the only thing stopping those people from being friends is the amount of time I can commit to them. I only have so much energy for friend time, and sometimes those missed friendship opportunities make me sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inis Mona View Post
    When I really want someone to be my friend, I make as much effort as I possibly can to establish a deep bound between us, I don't forget people. And usually I feel like I am comfortable with what I have, with friends that I already have and I don't feel the need to make new ones. I more prone to make an older relationship deeper than to establish a completely new one.
    Not sure if I relate to this.
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
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  10. #30
    ƲιƖƖαgє Ƥяєттувσу Array Yamato Nadeshiko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Not sure if I relate to this.
    ^Perhaps that's where introverted so vs. extroverted so plays in? I'm also the type to generally say that I'm fine with the friends I have rather than constantly looking to expand (because that sounds exhausting to me).
    "Yeah, there wasn't a lot to do back on the old farm. Just sit back, think about things, and then repress those thoughts immediately..."

    previously known as 21lux
    ¤ school idol tomodachi ¤
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