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  1. #1
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Default Do you like the drama and connection?

    I'm not sx-dominant (I'm so/sx), but I strongly identify with some sx traits.

    A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.

    Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.

    Are these things related to Enneagram? What are your experiences? Do tell.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1
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  2. #2
    Member morganelise48's Avatar
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    I'm unsure if I'm an so/sx, or an sx/sp.

    However, I understand what you're talking about completely. It happens randomly... more often when I'm drunk haha. But like you said, not in a lustful or 'romantic' way.

    Almost like you lust after their being, their thoughts, their intentions, and their true internal beauty.

    I've felt this a few times speaking with people I hardly know. I suppose my mood factors greatly with experiencing this.

    I wouldn't say it happens to me often, however. But I feel you, lol.
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  3. #3
    Member morganelise48's Avatar
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    *sp/sx or sx/sp
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  4. #4
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Sx-doms: Tell me about all your sordid life choices.

    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.
    Nope.

    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.
    Sort of.

    I have virtually never had what I'd call an emotional meaningful relationship with someone I wouldn't have sex with, so it's hard for me to speak about any separations between those too. But I can say that what you describe sounds like something I've felt, which is different from being sexually attracted to someone, even if I can feel toward someone who I am also sexually attracted to. But perhaps that disqualifies it from what you had in mind.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right
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  6. #6
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Q1: no. I like intensity but NOT this kind

    Q2: yes! That's the kind of intensity I love. Also that kind of feeling with ideas, music, experiences, etc. This pretty much is sx to me.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.
    Oh yes, absolutely. I love intensity, I seek it, and nothing is more frustrating than a scene without emotional movement and theatrics. My life is a drama, albeit a frustrating and vacillating one. Maybe this shows in my songwriting, though I would definitely not say my style is "flowery" and gushy. More...mysterious, seductive and heroic, usually with an undercurrent of sexual aggression. Imagine a fuse smouldering away, close to exploding at any moment...then BOOM! I build up tension and like to end with a bang.

    Also "sex" has sx in it. Of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.
    I can feel an almost physical, magnetic pull towards people. However, this usually happens when I am feeling a strong attraction and sense of connection to a woman. An emotionally intense atmosphere can be created very quickly - after all many vivid visions of us, and what we are doing, are rushing through my head at once. I can also have these strong attachments to music, along with sounds and general feelings I may pick up from my environment.

  8. #8
    Bummer geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Default Do you like the drama and connection?

    I'm sx/so and yes I can relate to most of what you've mentioned.. I think that's a reasonable explanation for my emotions
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress



    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3


  9. #9
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post

    Are these things related to Enneagram? What are your experiences? Do tell.

    I am sx last and nothing of that rings a bell.
    But as years go by this behavior attracts me more and more, especially if it is comming from women. Like: I don't have a soul but you can show me yours.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    I dont feel Like writing, but yes and yes.

    I do feel enthusiastic about many people even if not romantic and have an urge to connect with them. And unfortunately it's common for people to think I'm interested in them sexually when I am just flirting platonically.

    About the intensity, it took me a long time to admit it, but yes. Especially when I hear people say they like peace in relationships...that made me realize that I really don't! Peace = boring. I want to connect, and I want the other person to respond to me. Either love or hate but I want to feel that connection. Peace seems like indifference to me, like the person doesn't care about me. But then, at the same time, I really long for peace and stability at the same time. I guess it's a polarizing thing for me.
    Hugs, bye.
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