[sx] Do you like the drama and connection?

[Z Buck McFate]

I don't know Z Buck I saw you resort to mind control one time; because someone had Chairman Meow as an avatar. That seems pretty dramatic to me.

But it was Chairman Meow.

 

[Masokissed]

Yes, I don't think there's ever been a time in my life without some kinda drama. I lashed out at all of my friends, destroyed one of their art projects, and brought a knife to school that I used to cut myself all because someone I loved didn't love me back, and then I was suspended for 10 days yesterday. For example. Being sx-dominant means that not only do I enjoy it, but I can't avoid it.

And yes, I like connection. The most powerful kind of connection is just exchanging looks between someone. Like, I'll notice them looking at me a lot and I'll do it back to them. That's what gets sx going.

 

[Masokissed]

Did my sx kill this thread?

 

[Chrysanthe]

I like playing with puppies

 

[Captain_Invincible]

I'm not sx-dominant (I'm so/sx), but I strongly identify with some sx traits.

A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.

Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.

Are these things related to Enneagram? What are your experiences? Do tell.

You know

 

[Kelly777]

I didn't want to be incorrect but the truth is that Sx-doms can also be some of the most annoying people I know. They may claim that they have a problem with drama but many of them are actually quite attracted to it and grief it creates. From what I have seen most of Sx-doms are masochists of some kind.

That's interesting. I don't think of myself as liking drama but I am attracted somewhat to violence. I like MMA fighting and Quentin Tarantino movies. And if I meet someone who just putters around thinking about paying bills and decorating their house and such, I am terribly bored. I read an article once about how Jane Eyre was a well adjusted type of romance where as Wuthering Heights was a romance that would appeal to someone who felt incomplete without a lover and who needed intensity and drama in their relationships. I wonder if that is an SX dominant thing.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Sp/sx here...the sp bit will be even more obvious after this post.

I don't like social politics or interpersonal drama. I mean the kind of stuff where people are two-faced and maneuver things in an underhanded way. I hate that kind of drama, and part of it is because I just don't get it and because it looks juvenile, not "intense". When younger, most heartbreak was in my head, where most of my life was lived. Real people failed to be very compelling to me, or some masochistic part of me felt denying them access (and myself to them) would somehow be rewarded with a much greater passion later on. The most real pain to me has always been acute disappointment, aka, the tragedy of nothing.

The "intense" thing I like(d) that those around me couldn't grasp is debating; I like to disagree, but it can be a compliment to someone because what they said caught my attention enough to bother. I like the stimulation of an intellectual argument, but where people don't resort to low blows, but actually use their brains. I also have always liked a flirting and bantering style that involves some friendly jabs. A fair amount of people dont like that. I feel like it simultaneously creates and relieves sexual tensions. I don't like gushiness unless it is poetic and clever or incredily sincere in a blundering sort of way, but most people just spout cliche and strike me as terribly mundane. They bond a whole lot better than I do though.

When younger, especially, I used to purposely read, listen to, or watch things that would stir up intense emotion, sometimes making myself cry. It really was a fascination with emotional extremes and a desire to feel intensely, just to know what it is like. But I was inhibited in my real life interactions because of shyness and fear of humiliation and vulnerability. So I never sought out or created much real life drama.

As for the latter stuff about responses to people I'm attracted to (platonically or romantically), yes, very much so. I always thought of it as a "change in the air". I thought a physical aspect to an emotional response is pretty standard human stuff... I also experience these things as very "vibey", and it probably is because I am less intune with the physical and less able to pinpoint it, so it all seems atmospheric (the "air" again).

I would never call myself dramatic because I am mostly contained in public and the day-to-day, and so acquaintances think I am either laidback or aloof. Close friends and family see occasional temperamental outbursts and might say otherwise. I think I threw a burrito at someone's head once.

 

[Betty Blue]

I'm not sx-dominant (I'm so/sx), but I strongly identify with some sx traits.

A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.

Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.

Are these things related to Enneagram? What are your experiences? Do tell.

The drama thing I have not tried to create but have sometimes thought subconsciously I have pulled it in around me. I don't enjoy the lows (my lows are scary-pit of despair-low) but love the high's. Been curious for a while as to weather ENFP's (maybe especially sx doms) can appear pretty bi polar... or just that they do have a lot of low lows and high highs-viewable externally as well as internally.

Though I'm not sure how much drama I have created intentionally... inasmuch as I do not desire to be the centre of attention. More that I have been a walking whirlwind at times. The attention I crave tends to relate more to your second question.

I desire attention from individuals i feel a connection to. And yes I do feel really intense deep emotional connections to people. Not so much in a visceral sense. Sometimes I'm not sure they even know I feel it.... which probably relates more to being sx/sp.... it is not always necessary for me to have the connection in the real world... my head plays all sorts of scenarios out with people and I can hold them very highly in my esteem without their knowledge. It can come to the fore and confuse people too I think. Though of course sometimes a connection is so very existentially powerful that it creates an energy all of it's own that others can also bear witness to as well as the individuals not being able to suppress or deny it.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I think one of the key traits of Sx people is the fact that they many not see drama where other can see it. Therefore they can claim that they don't like it that much while others will disagree. ("drama" is actually very subjective term)

 

[ceecee]

I think one of the key traits of Sx people is the fact that they many not see drama where other can see it. Therefore they can claim that they don't like it that much while others will disagree. ("drama" is actually very subjective term)

One of my ENFP friends (certainly sx dom) doesn't see the drama either. Either because she is way inserted in it and becomes blind to it or, has such a high threshold for drama she's unable to notice. To her credit, once she's made aware, she does try to distance herself from it.

 

[Virtual ghost]

One of my ENFP friends (certainly sx dom) doesn't see the drama either. Either because she is way inserted in it and becomes blind to it or, has such a high threshold for drama she's unable to notice. To her credit, once she's made aware, she does try to distance herself from it.

My parents are both Sx doms. They often explode to each others face for the dumbest of reasons and say horrible stuff to each other, however in 5 minutes or even less there will be a complete peace as nothing happened. They are togather for 40 years and they are constantly convincing me that this is "life" and that this is completely normal. :crazy people:

 

[D'Ascoyne]

My parents are both Sx doms. They often explode to each others face for the dumbest of reasons and say horrible stuff to each other, however in 5 minutes or even less there will be a complete peace as nothing happened. They are togather for 40 years and they are constantly convincing me that this is "life" and that this is completely normal. :crazy people:

Suffer much whiplash, eh...

 

[Dyslexxie]

I don't necessarily like drama but I know I can be quite dramatic in my reactions. I get almost...short bursts of intensity which diffuse as quickly as they came in.
I also like intensity in relationships. I have a hard time with surface level, tame relationships. I like company with which I can argue, people who have passion and ambition. I'm not passive and I can't handle passive people. If I can't get a kick out of them I probably won't be around them long.
Sometimes I get these crazy electric sparks with people, and I have to get to know them. A lot of the time it ends up feeling like sexual tension, so there's that aspect, but I've been known to burn people there because as fast as I can fall for them and get them wrapped up in my whole flurry of intensity, I can just as fast lose interest. I'm a bit of a rollercoaster for sure.

 

[Psyclepath]

The experiences of Sexual firsts give me such an inferiority complex.

It's like... what I dream of being, able to feel in a pure sense, being alive. It is the purest sense of experiencing, and I love the very thought of it.

Yet, I can't spend five seconds outside my feeble head, because I seem to be so afraid of losing myself. I can't think the moment I'm outside my head. That's just scary. Possibly it's just related to being a 5.

Saying that though, I somewhat relate to the second point. I really wanted to befriend an artist whose music I loved, and he literally was my obsession. I got excited whenever I heard mention of his hometown, because going there was synonymous with the idea of meeting him in person.

 

[Obfuscate]

I'm not sx-dominant (I'm so/sx), but I strongly identify with some sx traits.

A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil? The soaring highs and the bottomless lows? The agony? When I was younger and more unhealthy, I'd nudge myself into situations where I knew I'd get hurt just because I liked the intensity of it all. I stared out the window and pretended my life was a movie; I'd even divide it into chapters. When I went through dark and painful times, I would think things like, "This will make fantastic writing material." The things I wrote were super flowery, tortured, ecstatic, etc.

Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.

Are these things related to Enneagram? What are your experiences? Do tell.

concerning drama: i have little to no craving for it... i guess on some level, i like other people's drama (one on one) in the sense that i like to help them sort it out and eliminate it... i like the part where i help them cut through the bullshit and figure out what is actually going on, their level of responsibility, and the best possible resolution... i like my own after it is long gone... when i am able to analyze how things got so screwed up, and how i can avoid it in the future... i guess (despite my efforts to eliminate thinking of myself as a victim) i still have some sort of attraction to the view of myself as some sort of stoic figure battling through tough times that were no fault of my own... i have always been very good at identifying my own level of blame, so it took some pretty heinous examples, and a real loss of perspective (due to depression) to reach the point where i was able to say "but i didn't do anything wrong this time"... i guess for those particular examples i can still see myself as mostly free of blame, so maybe that is what i like about them... having even a few moments in my life that i don't need to take responsibility for is relaxing on one level or another... i never thought as it was happening "i should write about this"... i did however spend a lot of time writing about these things just the same... i can't profess that the writing was of the highest quality, but i performed little to no editing (much of it was done in high school)...

as for deep connections: yeah, that happens sometimes... it's not a default adhesion to everyone i like or communicate with on a "deeper level"... it's one of those things that either happens or doesn't... it's almost a mystical process, in the sense that i have no idea what makes it happen (or fail to happen)... it also happens in various degrees... i think i can count one one hand the people able to give me that feeling today... the number had been higher, but oddly with some of them the feeling of excitement has faded with time... i think that is due to disconnection... if i had stayed in constant contact, i think that the connection would remain... as it is, even with those whose "sparkle" has eroded, i still have a special place in my heart for them... the connection isn't gone, it has merely cooled... perhaps it could be reawakened, but i don't understand how that would happen either... i noticed that the post below mine mentions an increase when under the influence of booze... i would say that alchohol (yes, i know that isn't the accepted spelling) can cause a very good imitation of what i am talking about.. if that imitation is cultivated it can become real (in some cases)... other substances are capable of producing a more genuine response (or perhaps a more sustainable imitation)... in any case, once i care for someone that feeling never leaves entirely... my love, affection, caring, disdain, annoyance, and the like are more or less forever... as more feelings are added in, they simply become layered... if anything about any of this was confusing (or lacking in detail) feel free to ask me about it...

i have no idea if it relates to the enneagram... i find that whole system to be confusing and hard to define in concise terms...

post script:

when i said below mine, i actually meant below the op... i forgot to account for the fact that it would no longer be below my post when i submitted it... i apologize for any confusion this may have caused... ceecee could do me a favor, and add something to her correction of my post, so that i would only have to be wrong once... (that was a joke)...

 

[ceecee]

concerning drama: i have little to no craving for it... i guess on some level, i like other people's drama (one on one) in the sense that i like to help them sort it out and eliminate it... i like the part where i help them cut through the bullshit and figure out what is actually going on, their level of responsibility, and the best possible resolution... i like my own after it is long gone... when i am able to analyze how things got so screwed up, and how i can avoid it in the future... i guess (despite my efforts to eliminate thinking of myself as a victim) i still have some sort of attraction to the view of myself as some sort of stoic figure battling through tough times that were no fault of my own... i have always been very good at identifying my own level of blame, so it took some pretty heinous examples, and a real loss of perspective (due to depression) to reach the point where i was able to say "but i didn't do anything wrong this time"... i guess for those particular examples i can still see myself as mostly free of blame, so maybe that is what i like about them... having even a few moments in my life that i don't need to take responsibility for is relaxing on one level or another... i never thought as it was happening "i should write about this"... i did however spend a lot of time writing about these things just the same... i can't profess that the writing was of the highest quality, but i performed little to no editing (much of it was done in high school)...

as for deep connections: yeah, that happens sometimes... it's not a default adhesion to everyone i like or communicate with on a "deeper level"... it's one of those things that either happens or doesn't... it's almost a mystical process, in the sense that i have no idea what makes it happen (or fail to happen)... it also happens in various degrees... i think i can count one one hand the people able to give me that feeling today... the number had been higher, but oddly with some of them the feeling of excitement has faded with time... i think that is due to disconnection... if i had stayed in constant contact, i think that the connection would remain... as it is, even with those whose "sparkle" has eroded, i still have a special place in my heart for them... the connection isn't gone, it has merely cooled... perhaps it could be reawakened, but i don't understand how that would happen either... i noticed that the post below mine mentions an increase when under the influence of booze... i would say that alchohol (yes, i know that isn't the accepted spelling) can cause a very good imitation of what i am talking about.. if that imitation is cultivated it can become real (in some cases)... other substances are capable of producing a more genuine response (or perhaps a more sustainable imitation)... in any case, once i care for someone that feeling never leaves entirely... my love, affection, caring, disdain, annoyance, and the like are more or less forever... as more feelings are added in, they simply become layered... if anything about any of this was confusing (or lacking in detail) feel free to ask me about it...

i have no idea if it relates to the enneagram... i find that whole system to be confusing and hard to define in concise terms...

All of it relates to enneagram. Enneagram gives a far better description of how people react than MBTI. How someone reacts to drama, why one enneagram type would get enjoyment from drama and a different type would shun it like an ex at an office Christmas party.

 

[Obfuscate]

All of it relates to enneagram. Enneagram gives a far better description of how people react than MBTI. How someone reacts to drama, why one enneagram type would get enjoyment from drama and a different type would shun it like an ex at an office Christmas party.

i guess it is... a more accurate reply would have been "most likely, but the system is convoluted... i don't feel qualified to explain what connections there might be"...

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I'm drawn to try to diminish drama for people I love. I've experience what could be called panic attachment where the moment feels like an emergency that needs to be fixed and I've also known people by happenstance who are experiencing hard things.

It doesn't make me feel good and it isn't something I need. I wish for peace and try to bring more of that about in the world, but will take on the hard things to make it actually happen.

 

[erg]

I don't like drama one bit, but I can't help it. Whenever I get romantically involved with someone, there is drama.

Intensity, that's another thing. That I crave like a drug.

 

[anticlimatic]

"well there are projects for the dead and there are projects for the living.
though I must confess sometimes I get confused by that distinction.
so I just throw myself into the arms of that which would betray me.
I guess to see how far providence would stoop down just to save me."