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  1. #11
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    I dont feel Like writing, but yes and yes.

    I do feel enthusiastic about many people even if not romantic and have an urge to connect with them. And unfortunately it's common for people to think I'm interested in them sexually when I am just flirting platonically.

    About the intensity, it took me a long time to admit it, but yes. Especially when I hear people say they like peace in relationships...that made me realize that I really don't! Peace = boring. I want to connect, and I want the other person to respond to me. Either love or hate but I want to feel that connection. Peace seems like indifference to me, like the person doesn't care about me. But then, at the same time, I really long for peace and stability at the same time. I guess it's a polarizing thing for me.
    Hugs, bye.

    For many people "flirting platonically" is oxymoron.

  2. #12
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I like other peoples' drama. I don't like it in my own life. Hearing other peoples' dirty laundry is like winning a participation trophy for me. People complain about them, but I like them and they sit and rot on my shelf while I don't go bragging about them elsewhere really. In my own life.. I sometimes start drama, but they really are accidents. I don't intend to start it.. Sometimes I don't care much (like saying what I want to say in a thread, knowing people who are also deeply rooted in their opinions will hate it) which I think can be misconstrued as actively starting shit. But having two dramatic sisters + a life style of drama from their love lives alone.. Yeah, no, I definitely don't start it, and I definitely don't want it in my own.

    I do fantasize about other worldly me's... maybe not movie-style where I have the idea of being in a movie, but I do fantasize dumb stuff: I have super powers for some songs, I feel like I can fight 5 guys and win with the power of hate and anger I mean.. Love? Or that I have a new job like being a detective in a high stakes murder crime.
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  3. #13
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post

    A question I have for my sx-dominant friends--do you like the drama? The turmoil?
    I really dislike the occasional drama. I see it more as an unpleasant consequence. Kind of like the way I love Indian food, but I hate the havoc it reeks on my digestive system. Although it's easier to deprive myself of Indian food than it is to deprive myself of an unconscious instinct- sometimes I'll have a very similar phase of aversion afterwards.

    Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people?
    I typically don't think I do- but then when I compare myself to others I know who don't seem to need any kind of connection to others at all, it becomes clear to me that I kinda do. It only seems like a need for deep connection when I compare though.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  4. #14
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    About the intensity, it took me a long time to admit it, but yes. Especially when I hear people say they like peace in relationships...that made me realize that I really don't! Peace = boring. I want to connect, and I want the other person to respond to me. Either love or hate but I want to feel that connection. Peace seems like indifference to me, like the person doesn't care about me. But then, at the same time, I really long for peace and stability at the same time. I guess it's a polarizing thing for me.
    Hugs, bye.
    Why can't you have both feedback and peace?

    ***

    For me, I'd say I definitely try to dull down intensity. My sp gets very overwhelmed by it quickly. I search for intensity in a more "slow burning" sense.

    And yes I experience deep visceral connections with friends and in intimate relationships (it seems to only happen with sx's though.) Also, I don't usually feel this in the moment with them. I feel it alone, inside. It's less of a shared experience, and more of an experience I've cultivated for myself, by the perception I hold of my relationship with the other person.

    With regards to the first question: ime an sx dom would rather experience turmoil than settle. It's not something they seem to choose. It's just the price they pay of being very aware of what their ideal is, and not settling for less. I find it kind or admirable actually.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  5. #15
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I think I'm sx/sp, definitely sx though.

    Drama is the fastest way to disengage me. Its always made me very uncomfortable, and seems to play on my trust issues. As a small child I experienced levels of emotional and even physical sensitivity that I don't believe (or at least from my observation didn't see) in most other children. And I've heard this is common for fi doms. So dramatic people, to me, actually seem insensitive in a way. That push/pull conflicted energy vibration is extremely off-putting.

    However, intensity and depth in my relationships, is very rewarding. Far beyond physical/sexual connections. So, as to your 2nd question, I think we are on the same page.

    I don't have many casual, superficial relations these days. I used to, though. I tend to want a few people in my sphere, but connecting/understanding them on levels we just don't show very easily. That is my nectar. And every so often I will meet a person that, I just intuitively know I could take to those levels..and I'm not sure if I pick that up from the pure physical of them, but more likely fine-tune to a vibration they put off.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  6. #16
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I think I'm sx/sp, definitely sx though.

    Drama is the fastest way to disengage me. Its always made me very uncomfortable, and seems to play on my trust issues. As a small child I experienced levels of emotional and even physical sensitivity that I don't believe (or at least from my observation didn't see) in most other children. And I've heard this is common for fi doms. So dramatic people, to me, actually seem insensitive in a way. That push/pull conflicted energy vibration is extremely off-putting.

    However, intensity and depth in my relationships, is very rewarding. Far beyond physical/sexual connections. So, as to your 2nd question, I think we are on the same page.
    I too was much like that as a small child, actually. The drama part didn't start until middle school and then tapered off by late high school.

    And I agree that I never really liked "dramatic" people, in the outward sense. Even in the worst of my drama, it was really all internally-based; I never made a scene of it. That would have embarrassed me. So the people who throw fits, make up lies to get attention, publicly exaggerate and display emotion--never liked 'em either.

    I relate to the depth and intensity thing...right on. Generally I prefer positive intensity. I value the people I love and my relationships to them. So as long as none of that is damaged, a little negative stimulation every now and then is fine.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
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    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
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  7. #17
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Here's another thing more curious I have to ask you about. Do you experience deep, visceral connections to people? I don't mean in a sexual sense. I mean this rush that you feel--physically feel--around somebody, in a platonic way? Like being so deeply attracted to somebody that you can physically feel a rush through you when you think of them or see them. Caring so deeply for someone, like a friend, that it becomes more than a friendship, but not romantic? Like a special friend. A true, one friend. I don't know. I tried to explaining this concept to my friends who are both sx last, and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. My sister, however, who is either sp/sx or sx/sp, understood what I was talking about one hundred percent.
    No to your first question. I would run from that.

    Deep, visceral connection - not sexual but platonic. Yes...but.

    Yes, I have but it fades quickly. It usually is upon first meeting someone and getting enthralled in conversation or the vibe. But I have come to realize that afterward, I get bored with these people. It's like, 0-60 and we ran out of gas for that one awesome ride. I don't feel compelled to repeat it or care if it happens again.

    I know this throws people off because it reads hot and cold. Especially if I see them again and they expect the same from me.

    So, yes but my real, deep friendships don't have this quality to them. If they do, we've usually had a sexual relationship, also.
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  8. #18
    Biting Shards Dr Mobius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    I really dislike the occasional drama. I see it more as an unpleasant consequence. Kind of like the way I love Indian food, but I hate the havoc it reeks on my digestive system. Although it's easier to deprive myself of Indian food than it is to deprive myself of an unconscious instinct- sometimes I'll have a very similar phase of aversion afterwards.
    I don't know Z Buck I saw you resort to mind control one time; because someone had Chairman Meow as an avatar. That seems pretty dramatic to me.
    Now, therefore, lead on where you would have us go, and we will follow with right goodwill; you shall not find us fail you in so far as our strength holds out, but no man can do more than in him lies, no matter how willing he may be.


  9. #19
    TypologyBentral.Bom chickpea's Avatar
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    1) yes I make insane horrible life decisions and hang around chaotic people

    2) yes, I either immediately have a strong positive or negative reaction about people or just don't notice them at all

  10. #20
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    I am sx last and nothing of that rings a bell.
    But as years go by this behavior attracts me more and more, especially if it is comming from women. Like: I don't have a soul but you can show me yours.

    I didn't want to be incorrect but the truth is that Sx-doms can also be some of the most annoying people I know. They may claim that they have a problem with drama but many of them are actually quite attracted to it and grief it creates. From what I have seen most of Sx-doms are masochists of some kind.
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