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  1. #1
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Default Non SX in relationships

    What role does romance play in your life? What types of relationships do you enjoy? What do you think of SX dominant types? How are you at opening up?

    I am ever so curious.

    SXs with SOs and SPs - what differences do you notice or what issues arise? Do you find yourself wanting more out of your partner than what they give?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green
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  2. #2
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    This was intended for Instinctual variants thread. D'oh!
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  3. #3
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    Checked over there and didn't see a repeat of this thread, so I'll answer here. :-)

    As an Sx/So, I sometimes have this problem. It was actually more common as a kid with my best friends. Best friends for me are like platonic soul-mates. And because kids end up getting best friends through who's available, they weren't always people who could really empathize with me on a deep level. It probably didn't help that I'm such a 4, and being the eccentric kid doesn't exactly make it easy for others to empathize.

    As an adult, romance doesn't actually play a huge part in my life. And before your mind goes to the gutter, neither does sex. I realize this makes me a bit odd, Sx or not. But being so busy getting completely immersed in my other activities kinda takes precedence. My best friend (So-dom) and my roommate (Sp-dom) are both like soul-mates to me, even though it's platonic. Then there's a few members of my actual family, who I feel a deep, lasting connection to on a level that surpasses any loyalty I might feel to the family as a social unit. Add to that my closest coworkers, and my mentor in my chosen hobby. (Mentors for me are a special kind of relationship.) Add that all together, and I already feel pretty swamped maintaining all these deep relationships. So it's going to take a very special connection, built up through the course of a normal friendship, for me to feel like it's worth it to actually start a non-platonic serious relationship with someone. And at the point I think it's worth it to enter that relationship, I will already know if they are capable of meeting my needs or not. If not, I probably won't bother to start the relationship in the first place. Currently, I am considering two prospects and seeing how our friendships develop to see if either one has any lasting potential. If so, great! If not, at least I met some great people and made some interesting friends!
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  4. #4
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Never been in a relationship. I've had a brief period in my life where I badly wanted one, but that was a while ago. I don't feel a pining urge for one, even though it would be nice.

    The whole this is needlessly complex for me.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  5. #5
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    Just realized I didn't answer the question as such. lol Sorry! I got excited. So and Sp is not too different, as long as we have _something_ important in common. The more, the better! I find that their ability to empathize is the single most important trait I look for in a friend/confidant/partner/etc. But that's my personal preference. An Sx who is themselves less empathetic might have a different defining trait or set of traits they look for.

  6. #6
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    What role does romance play in your life?

    They are something that I miss at the moment in my life.


    What types of relationships do you enjoy?

    Close, not too much drama, shared interests for the most part, traveling togather, sharing some friends


    What do you think of SX dominant types?

    Some are great and really attractive some are annoying. It really depends on the person.


    How are you at opening up?

    Friendly and honest ?
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  7. #7
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Although it is not in my signature, I am not sx-first. ...so I shall answer

    A romantic relationship is not needed nor is it unneeded for me. Therefore, I am not spending hopping from social even to social event solely for the desperate search of a romantic partner. BUT ...I am doing more social things now because if you don't at least meet people, you won't know what might spark your interest or whatever. A relationship is preferred if it sounds nice.

    It's good to explore without forcing anything.

    OOHH I didn't realize there were questions:

    What role does romance play in your life?

    It's not huge, compared to other humans on this Earth. I know people who started "dating" (whatever that means) in fourth or fifth grade. I have yet to be in a relationship, but it's not like I have never had any "romantic feelings" ... I think I am just "patient". I am only against relationships/romance when it seems to be cheapened by the simple desire to have someone in your life w/o having a real passion for the particular person you're with (so for examples: You're doing it because the man you're with is an engineer and can provide you with a stable life. Or you're willing to be in an unbalanced relationship where you're just settling when you KNOW you can look for "better". Or maybe you're interested in being in a romantic relationship because you want the cute little family with kids that you take the tennis class twice a week). Not that no one should ever choose to be in a relationship for these reasons and maybe I am not quite right on these reasons ...but for me that would cheapen the experience of having a romantic relationship at the moment. ...so I wait until things "feel" right. Romance and Patience goes hand-in-hand for me, I guess????

    ...I don't know why I use quotations.


    What types of relationships do you enjoy?

    Idk. Never been in a serious relationship, but when I look amongst the people who have yet to bore me (because most people bore me) ...they seem to challenge me to some extent. They do/think things different that are not obviously "wrong" or "right" ...and it intrigues me. Unfortunately, though, I am pulled towards difficult people/those who are not easy to figure out/seem slightly unconventional. Sometimes they don't even do things differently ...they just vibe like they are from a different planet and that draws me in.


    What do you think of SX dominant types?

    Sometimes they disgruntle me because they'll strongly say things that are clearly stupid and 100000000000000% won't budge, but when they don't say something absolutely stupid (by my standards) I like them a lot. But it's not always black and white. I like them and want to attack them all at the same time. But a large chunk of that has nothing to do with them ...just me being combative.

    How are you at opening up?

    idk. bad. I don't really open up. I guess I expect people to mind read at a certain level (I don't mean to). But I am bad at spelling things out.
    You are so arbitrary.

  8. #8
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    6 1/2 years in an sp/sp relationship so far

    in a way we're more like two cats living under the same roof... both very independent and we pursue our own interests... we can spend an evening perfectly content sitting on opposite ends of the couch doing different things and only occasionally exchanging words. There are many things that I do not know about him still and there are many things that he doesn't know about me and that just gives more to learn over the years... like a gift that keeps on giving. Independent decisions are made before being revealed often, though if they will affect both of our lives they will be brought up before anything is finalized. there is plenty of love, but it's expressed by respect for one another's need for privacy and continuing support for one another. And of course physically

    in a relationship I need my own space to be myself and have my own life... a partner who thinks that a majority of time should be spent doing the exact same thing is smothering to me. I enjoy spending time together, but it doesn't need to be spent doing the same thing at all... play your game or read your book and I'll read mine and we'll just enjoy the fact that we're near each other, occasionally reaching over to stroke a leg or push a strand of hair back. we travel together and when one of us appears somewhere the other tends to accompany them as their guest, but even when at our destination we tend to branch out before coming back together to leave together, going home to share the same bed.

    don't think that you'll learn my secrets and don't think that I want to share all of my interests. a girl's gotta keep a bit of mystery after all
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #9
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyGhost View Post
    What role does romance play in your life? What types of relationships do you enjoy? What do you think of SX dominant types? How are you at opening up?

    I am ever so curious.

    SXs with SOs and SPs - what differences do you notice or what issues arise? Do you find yourself wanting more out of your partner than what they give?
    Romance...or abstinence....or bisexuality.....or exhibitionism....or making love with several persons, I have tried them all !


    I have noticed I can't be with a so or sp subtype unless he (well I am not dating girls anymore for now !) has a sx as a second preference.

    I am sure about this as I am concerned, I had many breaks up when the partner did not communicate enough with me, generally preferred to eat than to make love,

    in a word was not close to me in the way I'd like him to be. So yes, issues arise pretty fast indeed !

    I think a sx partner can understand instinctively that you need independence in the outside world as much as in your own head, but, whatever, that complicity is

    very important to create and make evolve instead of letting the relationship go with the flow, and here we go, let's sleep on our laurels !


    I am actually dating a sx subtype but...apparently I have a very strong sx which makes me hard-to-please



    What I think of SX sub (I mean subtype, not submissive hè !) ?

    We are a bit more narcissist and hard-to-please. We need to feel yaaa !

    Opening-up : curious, open-minded and honest.
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

  10. #10
    Senior Member Also's Avatar
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    What role does romance play in your life?

    Romance is such a foreign concept to me.

    What types of relationships do you enjoy?

    The kind that are A-OK with my poor communication skills.

    What do you think of SX dominant types?

    Needy? Not the pathetic kind of needy either. I'm talking about the in-your-face, demanding, intolerant kind. It's such a bad image but I don't have a lot of success with people who need so much from me. I fail to deliver a lot of the time so the image is painted in somber hues.

    How are you at opening up?

    Horrible. I rarely initiate hang outs, I very rarely text back, don't try calling either. I've gotten quite good at manipulating personal questions as well. I would rather be forced to listen to Taylor Swift and have hot liquids thrown on me than to open up about anything.

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