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  1. #1
    Senior Member Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P.'s Avatar
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    Default Do Any of You Enjoy/Encourage Being Hard On People?

    Like an alpha keeping people in their place. I could see SOs with some affiliation with the type 8 being a little like this at least.
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

  2. #2
    sifting Hard's Avatar
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    I both enjoy and encourage being hard on others. The key is to be fair and honest about it. It has served me well in many different ways, and continues to do so.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  3. #3
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    I'm soft, and avoid implying the thing is their fault (because I care enough to help them). Only a few close relationships are comfortable/secure enough to be hard.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I both enjoy and encourage being hard on others. The key is to be fair and honest about it. It has served me well in many different ways, and continues to do so.
    There can only be one way at one time. Decisiveness trumps by default. I do expect bluntness and sternness from many SX and SP doms more often than from SOs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Opal View Post
    I'm soft, and avoid implying the thing is their fault (because I care enough to help them). Only a few close relationships are comfortable/secure enough to be hard.
    People take a mile for every inch. That's dangerous. Do you identify with a variant?
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

  5. #5
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    It depends entirely on the person. If I have to be hard on someone, there is a reason. I don't enjoy it, however, I don't shy away from telling a person it's their fault when it actually is, and why.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    It depends entirely on the person. If I have to be hard on someone, there is a reason. I don't enjoy it, however, I don't shy away from telling a person it's their fault when it actually is, and why.
    Don't like conflict? It can be thrilling to test your own mettle.
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

  7. #7
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P. View Post
    Don't like conflict? It can be thrilling to test your own mettle.
    Where did I say I don't like conflict? I said I don't enjoy being hard on a person. Not the same thing.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Auto/Virtuosi=L.A.P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Where did I say I don't like conflict? I said I don't enjoy being hard on a person. Not the same thing.
    Questions and assumptions also aren't the same thing. By asking I invited you to clarify. Conflict is a popular deterrent for speaking up, so I hypothesized.
    And there I stood... The devil of a command that featured death...

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I don't "like" being hard on people.
    I am hard on people when I think the situation calls for it.
    And otherwise I try to live in peace / make the relationship accommodating for the both of us.

    it's all driven by the needs of the situation.
    My default, though, is accommodation.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
    Likes Hard liked this post

  10. #10
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    I don't know. For most people, if they break down on me, I just tend to be matter of fact, my friends call it being blunt and frigid-frosty. The bluntness is not intentional, I generally don't even notice or realize it, but sometimes the message given through it generally is.

    If people try to make make excuses for themselves, excuses that at the end of the day seem to just serve to increase their problems, then I have no problem suggesting that there might be a different cause. I made one kid burst into absolute hysterics when I offered my opinion on what he was doing to himself in his situation, and in the long run he came back and thanked me for that honesty. If that is what needs to be done, it is no issue for me to do it. This backfires often though, and I do try to temper honesty with compassion.

    People don't always need sugarcoating. If they have a legitmate issue that they really seem to be trying to work towards getting past, then I am as soft as a feather. I just try to see what the other person truly needs, and although at times it can be quite awkwardly done-especially if it involves strong emotion/crying/crying/crying, I dislike these situations immensely but once you are in generally something has to be done to get you both out-, but I try to be there.

    So no, I don't encourage being hard on people-but judging a situation and not being afraid to be hard on someone if it is necessary-though hard is a bit too strong for me. I dislike situations like that in general. Playing with people's deep seated emotions, is something I usually try to avoid-I don't really have the skills to trust myself not to make things worse.

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