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  1. #1
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Default After A Couple Years, Beginning To Doubt My Instinctual Type

    Hey all,

    Since I first learned about the instinctual types I was a no questions asked sx-dom -- I immediately identified with everything and felt very relieved to learn that the way I was was okay because there are others out there who do the same.

    That being said, lately (past few months) I've been feeling like a dried-out late, but I'm slowly starting to really enjoy it. All of my fiery passion -- my intense need to connect with individuals, constantly searching for those who share the same "energy" -- clinging on to new ideas tighter than anyone else around me could -- these Sx tendencies have all slowly been quelled. I'm a pretty mellow guy now, I'm far more go with the flow -- I'm ok with not connecting with others because I know that one day I'll find the right people -- I'm not worried about it anymore.

    I'm more concerned now with just living my life and doing my thing at my own pace on my own terms -- very very self-preservation. All of my sx traits seem to have died down and I seem to be building up this new, calmer, more understanding self.

    Have any of you gone through a similar transformation? Can any of you identify with this?

    Thanks!

    -Tem

  2. #2
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    I thought I was an INFJ for about 8 years. I also thought I was 5w4 for a few years once I learned about enneagram. At the time, those seemed to fit. However, as I grew older, I started to settle into my true self, I was able to be more self-critical free of bais (well, enough that how I see myself isn't distorted to the point where I didn't really know myself). Really, it's called growing up. I'm 25, and it's said that around now is the age when a persons brain more or less finishes development. It makes sense that I appeared to "change" and that many others appear to change as they got older. If you're younger than your mid 20's, I wouldn't be surprised if things/prospectives shift around over the years and who you though you once were wasn't actually true. Doesn't happen to everyone, but it does happen.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  3. #3
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Yeah. I used to be the stereotype of the lonely, suffering social 4w5 (like into my mid-20s, it wasn't just some teenage thing). I hated to type that way, so I spent years in denial.

    After I got out into the real world, it turned out I wasn't like that at all. It was all some sort of defense against loneliness and boredom rampant in the US suburbs.

    I also found out I wasn't the ISTP I always typed as.
    @Tem -- to what do you attribute your transformation?

  4. #4
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    @Tem I recently re-assessed my instinctual variant, but less drastically than yourself-- I just realized my auxillory was wrong (I used to think I was Sx/Sp). I don't think you have changed, but perhaps your awareness has. There are of course seasons of life in which we all feel a little more uptight about certain things, so perhaps you were just undergoing one of those seasons when you typed as Sx first. Do you identify as Sp/Sx currently then?

    A note on Sp: I don't find this instinct calm at all-- or really any of them, I'd attribute that chill quality to your wing. The reason I say calm is not a characteristic of any of the instincts is that they all crave or thirst for something. That's why they are instincts. Our instincts are demanding, regardless of what they are for-- Sp would be for safety, provision, material security and physical space. Does that sound right to you?
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  5. #5
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Yeah. I used to be the stereotype of the lonely, suffering social 4w5 (like into my mid-20s, it wasn't just some teenage thing). I hated to type that way, so I spent years in denial.

    After I got out into the real world, it turned out I wasn't like that at all. It was all some sort of defense against loneliness and boredom rampant in the US suburbs.

    I also found out I wasn't the ISTP I always typed as.
    @Tem -- to what do you attribute your transformation?
    So what did you find out you are in the end?

    I would say I've simply grown tired of the world -- I've realized that almost everything we experience and do is just a series of patterns and really participating in it is silly. I would say I've gone through a borderline existential depression, though I don't feel depressed, if that makes sense.

    Just recently I've accomplished some of my life's biggest dreams and goals, and also had them taken away -- it's really a mix of feelings and in the end I stepped aside and decided that the meaning to life must be elsewhere, apart from all these worldly things -- social status, achievements, bragging rights, fake friends, external standards -- all tiresome and redundant. I've really been just doing my own thing -- doing what I want when I want on my own schedule on my own terms -- done some crazy impulsive things although that's not too out of the ordinary for me.

    My anger has been a large issue here and the way I go about it now is so much different than it used to be -- it seems much more oriented around just being given space to do things my own way and feel comfortable and satiated rather than the way it was before -- power, possession, territory, loyalty. I used to be very very intense with interactions -- if I felt disrespected it became my own personal goal to make sure the other person paid their dues for what they caused, regardless of what lengths I had to go through. Now, it's kind of just like -- what do I care? You're not important to me, as long as you get out of my face you can do whatever you want with your life.

    I've also kind of grown tired of my own anger -- it still comes up volcanically but at this point it's really just like "Really, Tem? Again? We know where this leads to...". I've kind of just gotten to the point where I really pick my battles and where my focus is worth it, and it really only seems worth it anymore when something is in my way or bothering my sense of privacy / sanity.

    I kind of feel like I'm asleep, maybe I'll wake back up into myself, or I'll wake up a transformed person. We'll see

  6. #6
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    A note on Sp: I don't find this instinct calm at all-- or really any of them, I'd attribute that chill quality to your wing. The reason I say calm is not a characteristic of any of the instincts is that they all crave or thirst for something. That's why they are instincts. Our instincts are demanding, regardless of what they are for-- Sp would be for safety, provision, material security and physical space.
    You are right about this.
    Does that sound right to you?
    Yep, sounds about right. You know, I really feel like my other instincts are just chillin out there on the backburner. Yeah right now I'm concerned more with my own things -- my own self, but some part of me feels like once I find another powerful something -- a person, an idea, a passion, my sx might re-emerge.

  7. #7
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tem View Post
    Yep, sounds about right. You know, I really feel like my other instincts are just chillin out there on the backburner. Yeah right now I'm concerned more with my own things -- my own self, but some part of me feels like once I find another powerful something -- a person, an idea, a passion, my sx might re-emerge.
    Cool.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  8. #8
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Cool.
    FREEZE. Don't. make. another. post! ;p

    #postcount

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tem View Post
    So what did you find out you are in the end?
    Turns out I'm an ENTP.

    I don't like to talk about my enneagram type, though, because although it seems to be my psychological core, it doesn't bear much resemblance to me and what my "problems" in life are. PM me if you want the details.

    I would say I've simply grown tired of the world -- I've realized that almost everything we experience and do is just a series of patterns and really participating in it is silly. I would say I've gone through a borderline existential depression, though I don't feel depressed, if that makes sense.
    That makes total sense to me. I once spent 6 months feeling miserable and in complete denial that I was miserable at all. I actually had to get out of the situation before I saw how numbed out I once was.

    Just recently I've accomplished some of my life's biggest dreams and goals, and also had them taken away -- it's really a mix of feelings and in the end I stepped aside and decided that the meaning to life must be elsewhere, apart from all these worldly things -- social status, achievements, bragging rights, fake friends, external standards -- all tiresome and redundant. I've really been just doing my own thing -- doing what I want when I want on my own schedule on my own terms -- done some crazy impulsive things although that's not too out of the ordinary for me.
    Midlife crisis? Not that that's any of my business.

    I kind of feel like I'm asleep, maybe I'll wake back up into myself, or I'll wake up a transformed person. We'll see
    When you start numbing out, that's the influence of the 9. It sounds like some sort of low-grade depression to me, again, not that that's any of my business.

    I hope you make it out of your chrysalis one day.

  10. #10
    Member Tem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    That makes total sense to me. I once spent 6 months feeling miserable and in complete denial that I was miserable at all. I actually had to get out of the situation before I saw how numbed out I once was.
    Could be...


    Midlife crisis? Not that that's any of my business.
    My 21st birthday is in 4 days


    When you start numbing out, that's the influence of the 9. It sounds like some sort of low-grade depression to me, again, not that that's any of my business.

    I hope you make it out of your chrysalis one day.
    I don't get depressed but I certainly numb out. Could be

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