Since I first learned about the instinctual types I was a no questions asked sx-dom -- I immediately identified with everything and felt very relieved to learn that the way I was was okay because there are others out there who do the same.
That being said, lately (past few months) I've been feeling like a dried-out late, but I'm slowly starting to really enjoy it. All of my fiery passion -- my intense need to connect with individuals, constantly searching for those who share the same "energy" -- clinging on to new ideas tighter than anyone else around me could -- these Sx tendencies have all slowly been quelled. I'm a pretty mellow guy now, I'm far more go with the flow -- I'm ok with not connecting with others because I know that one day I'll find the right people -- I'm not worried about it anymore.
I'm more concerned now with just living my life and doing my thing at my own pace on my own terms -- very very self-preservation. All of my sx traits seem to have died down and I seem to be building up this new, calmer, more understanding self.
Have any of you gone through a similar transformation? Can any of you identify with this?
-TemWhy do you think that you are a sexual 8? You don't seem like a sexual 8 at all to me.So what did you find out you are in the end?
I would say I've simply grown tired of the world -- I've realized that almost everything we experience and do is just a series of patterns and really participating in it is silly. I would say I've gone through a borderline existential depression, though I don't feel depressed, if that makes sense.
Just recently I've accomplished some of my life's biggest dreams and goals, and also had them taken away -- it's really a mix of feelings and in the end I stepped aside and decided that the meaning to life must be elsewhere, apart from all these worldly things -- social status, achievements, bragging rights, fake friends, external standards -- all tiresome and redundant. I've really been just doing my own thing -- doing what I want when I want on my own schedule on my own terms -- done some crazy impulsive things although that's not too out of the ordinary for me.
My anger has been a large issue here and the way I go about it now is so much different than it used to be -- it seems much more oriented around just being given space to do things my own way and feel comfortable and satiated rather than the way it was before -- power, possession, territory, loyalty. I used to be very very intense with interactions -- if I felt disrespected it became my own personal goal to make sure the other person paid their dues for what they caused, regardless of what lengths I had to go through. Now, it's kind of just like -- what do I care? You're not important to me, as long as you get out of my face you can do whatever you want with your life.
I've also kind of grown tired of my own anger -- it still comes up volcanically but at this point it's really just like "Really, Tem? Again? We know where this leads to...". I've kind of just gotten to the point where I really pick my battles and where my focus is worth it, and it really only seems worth it anymore when something is in my way or bothering my sense of privacy / sanity.
I kind of feel like I'm asleep, maybe I'll wake back up into myself, or I'll wake up a transformed person. We'll see