Nonetheless, envy and competitiveness are nowhere near open for me. It could be my 9 core, it could not be. Making others suffer is something that is completely foreign to me. But if I get down to the nitty gritty of things, underneath the years I've tried to better myself, and beyond my logic, there is a huge possibility that it's there.
I've always said "I don't compete," ( I really don't). But maybe part of the reason "I don't compete" is because I do have a competitive streak and it is disgusting/shameful to me.
I've had too much wine.