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  1. #121
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    okay interesting...that's like the type 4 version of sxness

    type 7 just feels manic or spazzy or incapable of dealing with it atm
    "incapable of dealing with it atm"
    So interesting =)

    You don't expect to get rejected though?
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  2. #122
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    You animal *rawr*
    *purr*
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  3. #123
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    "incapable of dealing with it atm"
    So interesting =)

    You don't expect to get rejected though?
    no...major type 7/4 difference there. i'm not even worried or thinking about how i'm being viewed. i'm just like...i can't talk to you cuz you make me nervous
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #124
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    no...major type 7/4 difference there. i'm not even worried or thinking about how i'm being viewed. i'm just like...i can't talk to you cuz you make me nervous
    Yeah. This was one reason I could never see myself as a 7 despite receiving lots of 7 suggestions, due to my apparent confidence in my mind and my tenacity etc.

    I do have this problem where.. I'm relatively confident I suppose. But when something really matters to me, I expect to get rejected or be belittled, or to never be good enough. For no logical reason - though I manage to come up with reasons that the other person is better than me, or their other options are better than me. I had to learn to tell myself that logically it's just me, doing this to myself, and there's nothing rational about it. And that people either like me or they don't, and it doesn't matter if they or the competition are objectively "better." Many of my songs are about working up the courage to come forth with my feelings even IF I get rejected because at least it's better than never trying … or being dishonest.. etc.

    My father is a 7w8 on the other hand, and he excessively confident. He expects everyone wants him and admires him. It's astounding but I like it. I think his confidence in me - his tremendous support and confidence and expectation of my success - is a huge reason I'm as confident as I am. That outlook is contagious. He finds everything that's good about me and helps me to improve it even more on the basis that it's already amazing and I should cherish it.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  5. #125
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Yeah. This was one reason I could never see myself as a 7 despite receiving lots of 7 suggestions, due to my apparent confidence in my mind and my tenacity etc.

    I do have this problem where.. I'm relatively confident I suppose. But when something really matters to me, I expect to get rejected or be belittled, or to never be good enough. For no logical reason - though I manage to come up with reasons that the other person is better than me, or their other options are better than me. I had to learn to tell myself that logically it's just me, doing this to myself, and there's nothing rational about it. And that people either like me or they don't, and it doesn't matter if they or the competition are objectively "better." Many of my songs are about working up the courage to come forth with my feelings even IF I get rejected because at least it's better than never trying … or being dishonest.. etc.

    My father is a 7w8 on the other hand, and he excessively confident. He expects everyone wants him and worships him. It's astounding but I like it. I think his confidence in me - his tremendous support and confidence and expectation of my success - is a huge reason I'm as confident as I am. That outlook is contagious. He finds everything that's good about me and helps me to improve it even more on the basis that it's already amazing and I should cherish it.
    right... I'm totally like that with my type 4 bf. i just don't relate to that type of concern at all. if anything i always expect the most ideal outcomes because why not? i don't know. type 7's can be delusional haha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #126
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    right... I'm totally like that with my type 4 bf. i just don't relate to that type of concern at all. if anything i always expect the most ideal outcomes because why not? i don't know. type 7's can be delusional haha
    Hehe. He is lucky to have you =)

    I don't think its necessarily delusional. A positive outlook goes a long way. I am very thankful for my 7 fix.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  7. #127
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    idk...honestly i can only really remember this happening a couple times...i guess it's just nerves? or maybe i'm just feeling something too intensely to talk. it's like the energy over here is too much and i'm going to throw up so i'm just going to bounce it around the room everywhere else.

    haha no really idk let me think on it.

    No, that's definitely the experience of it. You are describing exactly what occurs.


    Quote Originally Posted by unsung View Post
    hardly being able to stand up because your whole body is folding double thinking about a certain girl...

    I've even had the experience where I feel I've hurt...or confused the person I have, in reality, developed deeply caring feelings for which is so messed-up... "Hey, weren't the last twenty times we hung-out together so fun? I thought so too...like everything just flowed so well between us. Unfortunately, now that I have fallen in love with you...I will involuntarily treat you like you have leprosy."



    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Well, most every ENFP on here has reported "having no problem flirting when they don't really mean it (i.e., aren't that into the person), but, once they really like someone in a romantic way, they get all clammy, don't know what to do, and often become silent around the other person".

    Something like that.


    I think it has to do with the extent Fi...is being engaged.

    I hesitate some to use this example because without providing the details I fear it completely misrepresents what actually occurred...but basically, a couple years back I went on an extended road-trip/camping trip with some friends...and after being pulled-over by a small-town, rookie cop intent on doing everything by the book... I charmed/smoked/mirrored my way out of 4 expensive citations. This experience has been referred to as me having gone *full rainbow* (I also want to make this absolutely clear this was not flirtation... This situation was stubborn/tricky and demanded...rainbow.)

    ^^When literally everything concerning a situation exists in the realm of possibility... Ne can work miracles. We can see exactly what to spin and tweak to create more possibilities...to have an influence...to manipulate...to take people on a fun journey... to create a fantasy... a wonderland. In the above situation... the rookie cop was a possibility...the information was a possibility...the outcome was a possibility. <-with this Ne can get in there and manipulate reality faster than time can put the moment into the past. Here's where we shine. Here's where people love us to be. And here's where flirtation exists. For what is flirtation other than pointing towards possibilities?

    If Fi was engaged and I had a sense of responsibility to that police officer...I couldn't have invoked the power of the rainbow. Once things become real...Fi...makes us responsible to it. Which is one of the reasons why we struggle when taking things from "what is possible" to "what is real." "What lives in the external realm" vs "what lives internally in my heart." If the transition from "possibility" to "real" happens very, very slowly over time...we can handle it and are thankful for new realities and responsibilities. The problem is... *love* rarely unfolds in this slow manner but rather hits like an epiphany... one day it's just "someone you know"...the next *Holy Fuck I love that person* And it can be so overwhelming...we no longer know how to be...we become different once Fi engages and sometimes we don't even know how to show that to the other person. It's often too much and we'll bolt.

    edit: I should say this is to the best of what I could intuit/piece together...what I believe is happening.

  8. #128
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I get overwhelmed by the energy.
    But also I get EXTREMELY self conscious. Like I imagine what I look like through his eyes and it's never good enough, never as good as he looks through my eyes. Or I just EXPECT to get rejected, for no real reason.. I just feel disgusting and worthless and stupid, like nothing I say is interesting enough. "The fantasy of being rejected leads to the very behavior that gets me rejected" basically.
    Seems like most 4s might relate to this.

    I relate to not being able to flirt with anyone I find remotely attractive, although I'd hardly say I flirt well with anyone, period.
    But when I have or when I do, it's usually someone I feel comfortable with, and attraction seems to require some tension. So with someone attractive to me, it's like I go mute & feel frozen. The few occasions these really good-looking men attempted to flirt with me, I was a total deer in headlights.

    I definitely get a sense of the air changing between me & the other person, as if it gets heavier & harder to move through. But I feel a distinct sp slant, in that I want to run from someone I find attractive for a sense of relief, to not feel "intruded" upon by their existence, or to not feel overwhelmed with the expectations I cannot meet (ones I've often set for myself). But then once I'm alone, I will fantasize about them extensively, feel the longing from that void of being disconnected, & be driven to make more contact sooner than later. There's a lot of self-sabotage.

    I also start imagining how burdened & repelled the person would be to know I find them attractive. But I do things to bring attention to myself, while remaining aloof in demeanor. Fails every time.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #129
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I've even had the experience where I feel I've hurt...or confused the person I have, in reality, developed deeply caring feelings for which is so messed-up... "Hey, weren't the last twenty times we hung-out together so fun? I thought so too...like everything just flowed so well between us. Unfortunately, now that I have fallen in love with you...I will involuntarily treat you like you have leprosy."
    You make me laugh Starry (in a good way)
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
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  10. #130
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    You make me laugh Starry (in a good way)
    I like hearing that haha. That makes me happy.

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