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  1. #101
    hypersane Hive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    After going through all of this I guess all I would be interested in knowing is do you ever experience the spiritual bonding side of sex...?
    Now that I'm back and had some time to think about this...

    I sure feel something, some kind of bond, but I would never use the word "spiritual" to describe it. In fact, I don't really know how to put it into words at all. It feels like... something I was put here to do, as pompous as that may sound. That's what I mean when I say it's instinctual, like something deep down is triggered, telling me this is right, this is good, this is what I'm supposed to do.

    But I thought about the spiritual sex you're talking about and realized that I don't identify with it simply because it's an experience I largely lack. Love is tricky for me. It's extremely rare that I fall in love... Which I'm guessing is more or less a prerequisite what you other ENFP's have been talking about.

    This is a kinda weird realization, because that could mean I've basically been talking out of my ass this whole time, and that my perspective could change drastically once I jump into bed with someone I actually love. On the other hand, thinking about sex this way was kinda default for me... And I'm not sure that would change if I had sex with someone I share a stronger bond of love with, because that's what I naturally feel about it. I can imagine that it adds another dimension to the sex and intensifies it, though, which would be mindblowingly awesome because I already love it so much.

  2. #102
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    At least they have more fun than you.
    Being naked for the world of fatass perverts to masterbate to my image is not something I consider fun.
    The private sex I have with my lover is all the fun I need. :-P
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  3. #103
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unsung View Post
    Now that I'm back and had some time to think about this...

    I sure feel something, some kind of bond, but I would never use the word "spiritual" to describe it. In fact, I don't really know how to put it into words at all. It feels like... something I was put here to do, as pompous as that may sound. That's what I mean when I say it's instinctual, like something deep down is triggered, telling me this is right, this is good, this is what I'm supposed to do.
    The bold haha...I love that. I'm totally going to start thinking of it that way as well. "I'm so fuckin sexy...it's basically my duty...my Life's purpose if you will... to sex up as many dudes as I can." haha. Seriously, whatever we can do to make the world a better place...

    ^No I understand where you were going with that when you say instinct. And when you are in-tune with them there's an earthly power there that you're plugged into...a fire that you are tapping...and you are in fact connected to something larger than yourself. I understand this now.


    But I thought about the spiritual sex you're talking about and realized that I don't identify with it simply because it's an experience I largely lack. Love is tricky for me. It's extremely rare that I fall in love... Which I'm guessing is more or less a prerequisite what you other ENFP's have been talking about.
    Because human instinct comes naturally to you it makes sense you would make use of it. For me, I can't say I'm entirely removed from my own sexual instincts...but like you were saying I'm 100% Ne Head Type... I'm not grounded in the same ways as others are - I know I'm not - I feel that. And so I have come to depend on iNtuition as opposed to iNstinct as my guide...in all things...which includes who I decide to do.

    I know...although I don't really know how to explain how I know... but I know... out from beyond what I'm capable of understanding and down to each strand of my own DNA... this all encompassing warmth of connecting in the realm of the spirit... **hold on here for a moment while I take another hit off this bong...

    ^^None of that absolute amazingness makes Love less tricky for me...and relying on what I believe to be *soul recognition* sure the hell makes it a lot more rare. But because I'm insane and those are my prerequisites... because that is the system I use to identify the shagables... I'm going to go ahead and assume you're getting laid a lot more than I am so who's truly winning here? haha


    This is a kinda weird realization, because that could mean I've basically been talking out of my ass this whole time, and that my perspective could change drastically once I jump into bed with someone I actually love. On the other hand, thinking about sex this way was kinda default for me... And I'm not sure that would change if I had sex with someone I share a stronger bond of love with, because that's what I naturally feel about it. I can imagine that it adds another dimension to the sex and intensifies it, though, which would be mindblowingly awesome because I already love it so much.
    I don't think you're talking out of your ass at all. When I asked you that question I actually missed that you had never been in love before (what are you 14? 7w8 or not it's difficult imagining an ENFP e7 not having been in love before. That 8 wing must really bring in a desire to shape-shift your way around and out from under the control of commitment...? idk. that in itself is very interesting to me)... I think it's completely sane to fall in love and continue to have sex on instinct or at the instinctual level only.

  4. #104
    hypersane Hive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    The bold haha...I love that. I'm totally going to start thinking of it that way as well. "I'm so fuckin sexy...it's basically my duty...my Life's purpose if you will... to sex up as many dudes as I can." haha. Seriously, whatever we can do to make the world a better place...
    Precisely. We didn't ask for this kind of power, but turning our backs on the responsibilities that come with it is simply not an option.



    ^No I understand where you were going with that when you say instinct. And when you are in-tune with them there's an earthly power there that you're plugged into...a fire that you are tapping...and you are in fact connected to something larger than yourself. I understand this now.
    This is exactly it, and more on point than any explanation I could muster.

    Because human instinct comes naturally to you it makes sense you would make use of it. For me, I can't say I'm entirely removed from my own sexual instincts...but like you were saying I'm 100% Ne Head Type... I'm not grounded in the same ways as others are - I know I'm not - I feel that. And so I have come to depend on iNtuition as opposed to iNstinct as my guide...in all things...which includes who I decide to do.

    I know...although I don't really know how to explain how I know... but I know... out from beyond what I'm capable of understanding and down to each strand of my own DNA... this all encompassing warmth of connecting in the realm of the spirit... **hold on here for a moment while I take another hit off this bong...

    ^^None of that absolute amazingness makes Love less tricky for me...and relying on what I believe to be *soul recognition* sure the hell makes it a lot more rare. But because I'm insane and those are my prerequisites... because that is the system I use to identify the shagables... I'm going to go ahead and assume you're getting laid a lot more than I am so who's truly winning here? haha
    Yeah, I totally get how you go about it.

    I mean, I don't understand it, perhaps some day I will, but I definetely get you.

    And let's just say I'm perfectly happy with my track record thus far.

    I don't think you're talking out of your ass at all. When I asked you that question I actually missed that you had never been in love before (what are you 14? 7w8 or not it's difficult imagining an ENFP e7 not having been in love before. That 8 wing must really bring in a desire to shape-shift your way around and out from under the control of commitment...? idk. that in itself is very interesting to me)... I think it's completely sane to fall in love and continue to have sex on instinct or at the instinctual level only.
    You didn't really 'miss' it because I didn't mention it until the post you quoted now. What I meant with "talking out of my ass" was that I haven't emotionally connected during sex and therefore lack a proper perspective on it, and that my attitude on hedonistic vs. spiritual sex might change when I've had that experience.

    I have been in love before. Once. I was too crippled by doubt and anxious about my inexperience to take the first step, though. That sucked, but at least it taught to never be hesitant with girls I'm attracted to, so it was probably more good than bad for me. Falling in love has never happened to me since. Attraction is a whole other thing though, and more like the "moth to flame" thing you read about in Sx descriptions, being drawn to whoever's exciting and whatever. But hardly being able to stand up because your whole body is folding double thinking about a certain girl? Hasn't happened in a long time.

    It's funny because I read a quote by Iggy Pop, another 7w8 (But ESxP), talking about the singer Nico, where he said basically the same thing: "Nico was really something special. I couldn't fall in love with anybody, but I was really thrilled and excited to be around her. She was older and she was from somewhere else." If I don't completely misremember, both 7 and 8 are the types most out of touch with their feelings, so it wouldn't surprise me if this is common among 7w8's and 8w7's.

    And I'm 19, btw. (Really, 14? Usually people mistake me for much older than I am.)

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by unsung View Post
    I have been in love before. Once. I was too crippled by doubt and anxious about my inexperience to take the first step, though. That sucked, but at least it taught to never be hesitant with girls I'm attracted to, so it was probably more good than bad for me. Falling in love has never happened to me since. Attraction is a whole other thing though, and more like the "moth to flame" thing you read about in Sx descriptions, being drawn to whoever's exciting and whatever. But hardly being able to stand up because your whole body is folding double thinking about a certain girl? Hasn't happened in a long time.
    Why do all ENFPs seem to report this same experience?

    Quote Originally Posted by unsung View Post
    It's funny because I read a quote by Iggy Pop, another 7w8 (But ESxP), talking about the singer Nico, where he said basically the same thing: "Nico was really something special. I couldn't fall in love with anybody, but I was really thrilled and excited to be around her. She was older and she was from somewhere else."
    How certain are you that you're not an ESP?

    Not saying you are, just wondering

    Quote Originally Posted by unsung View Post
    If I don't completely misremember, both 7 and 8 are the types most out of touch with their feelings...
    I don't buy that notion at all.

  6. #106
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Why do all ENFPs seem to report this same experience?
    will you elaborate? what experience do you mean?
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    will you elaborate? what experience do you mean?
    Well, most every ENFP on here has reported "having no problem flirting when they don't really mean it (i.e., aren't that into the person), but, once they really like someone in a romantic way, they get all clammy, don't know what to do, and often become silent around the other person".

    Something like that.

  8. #108
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Well, most every ENFP on here has reported "having no problem flirting when they don't really mean it (i.e., aren't that into the person), but, once they really like someone in a romantic way, they get all clammy, don't know what to do, and often become silent around the other person".

    Something like that.
    Didn't realize that was an ENFP thing.. interesting. Why would that relate to ENFP?

    I am exactly like this. My type 1 friend has been making fun of me for this since highschool, and I still haven't gotten much better. She said once to a group: "How do you know if [Animal] likes you? … She's flirting with everyone in the room but you. "
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  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Didn't realize that was an ENFP thing.. interesting. Why would that relate to ENFP?

    I am exactly like this. My type 1 friend has been making fun of me for this since highschool, and I still haven't gotten much better. She said once to a group: "How do you know if [Animal] likes you? … She's flirting with everyone in the room but you. "
    Honestly, I don't know why, but nearly every ENFP on here has said something to this tune.

  10. #110
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Honestly, I don't know why, but nearly every ENFP on here has said something to this tune.
    Interesting.

    I find it easier to talk to the people I actually want to talk to over internet, though not always easy. IRL it's hard.. my heart starts fluttering too much. I wonder what this is like for ENTJ's and ESTJ's who have inferior Fi. It's probably worse for them. But with Fi in such a position they might fail to comprehend it and express it in words the way ENFP's do.
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