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  1. #11
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How do you feel about these things?

    - Civic events/actions like elections and voting
    I'm indifferent. I kinda glaze over when it comes to politics. It's outside the public's hands, imo. Big dog & pony show. Could call it cynical or jaded, but I just can't be bothered to care.


    - Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
    As most holidays are spent w/family, and mine's either dead or insane, I tend to just go through the motions, as the cheer feels forced and artificial in my environment. I enjoy these events independent of the crowds, in my own private way. No frills.

    - Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid
    I don't get out much, really unless it's something that piques my interest directly, like something involving the arts. Benefit shows and stuff like that appeal to me, and supporting local music/art. If that counts for anything.

    Weddings/baby showers, and all that noise.. fortunately most of my friends don't give a damn about formalities & either skip it or don't want/ expect anyone but family around (since family is usually the driving force behind doing it to begin with).

    Beyond all that, I tend to be off-radar when it comes to social/community stuff. I just don't feel like I 'need' it in my life that much, I guess.

    Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

    I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.
    I've enjoyed these experiences whenever I have the space and freedom to come & go as I please. Dip my feet in without being expected to jump in. Jump in, if I want, but hop out when I feel I've had enough, with minimal risk of my departure being mistaken for a slight.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post
    So move to Afghanistan.
    No I want first world anarchy.

  3. #13
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    No I want first world anarchy.
    "Everyone's an anarchist until they need drinking water."
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  4. #14
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post
    "Everyone's an anarchist until they need drinking water."


    ^immediately came to mind
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How do you feel about these things?

    - Civic events/actions like elections and voting
    meh, don't really care anymore. i used to try to, but it's all so pointless. i vote mainly for local proposals, like for keeping the museum open or something.

    - Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
    i like seeing people and good food. i also like the feeling that a day is special, getting dressed up, etc. other than that, i don't get very into the 'holiday' spirit for any holidays. not into decorating for the holiday or putting forth a lot of effort into making it happen. if left to my own devices, i'm sure i'd go very minimalist on holidays. but with family get togethers, i attend and am happy to bring a dish and hang out. i usually just end up talking to my sisters though...

    - Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid
    birthday parties, showers, weddings, things like that...i dunno. i like having something to do, an event to look forward to. but in practice, they're all kind of blah. the more formality the worse it is. if i can just dance and hang out, have some drinks and food and find a good convo, i'm in. if i'm sitting at a table with a smile on my face talking about "how things are going" or something, i'm looking to escape.

    Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?
    if there's a friend there who i can connect with, i'm cool. or if there's music and dancing (that can be a substitute for a friend sometimes haha). other than that, the hoopla of most of these things is a turnoff. and being polite and smiling and smalltalking for hours at a time is killer. i usually just end up people watching and daydreaming. it's REALLY hard for me to stay engaged in those situations.

    i think for me, it's very hot and cold. if i can engage in sx-mode, i'm all in. and i'm often hunting for ways to get my sx on. i can be complacent with sp mode (good food and drink) for a while, but it won't last long. the social stuff just doesn't do it for me though, and i totally switch off.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    ***voting and such

    -Nope. Not really. I would ideally love to be involved...but that just sounds like a lot of work. And I pretty much don't like anything political. It's all a catch 22 with that. You get involved so that things stop being so political...but you have to be political to get involved You're fucked.

    ***holidays and such

    -It's taken me all this time just to be able to appreciate holidays for what they are. I used to be, and will sorta kinda always be, a little stuck on the fact that holidays are all pretend. My whole family says their catholic. But they don't follow the religion. I don't know how someone is Catholic, when they don't follow the religion? It's like it's just for a title or image or something.

    I wish we could just call holidays what they are. A vacation day to spend with the fams. Have some weird activities, and eat some good food. Fuck all the gd presents that we don't have money to buy. And fuck those stupid cards that you read for a fleeting second. Then either throw away or collect as clutter.

    I just like food, wine, and dancing. And my family bonding moments are pretty awesome. I just wish we could quit it with all the pressure to uphold some tradition that makes no sense anymore.

    ***other

    What five sounds said:

    birthday parties, showers, weddings, things like that...i dunno. i like having something to do, an event to look forward to. but in practice, they're all kind of blah. the more formality the worse it is. if i can just dance and hang out, have some drinks and food and find a good convo, i'm in. if i'm sitting at a table with a smile on my face talking about "how things are going" or something, i'm looking to escape.
    So in conclusion: Yes to bonding

    But no to all the pressures.

    And the pressures can sometimes out weight the benefits of bonding, for me.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post


    ^immediately came to mind
    lol how did they know I would be at the movie theater

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How do you feel about these things?

    - Civic events/actions like elections and voting
    I vote. My parents are so/sx and sp/so and very political so it's pretty engrained in me. (I vote completely different than them, btw. We have quite different worldviews/opinions.) But I vote and I don't look at what the results are after the election cause I don't care very much.

    - Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
    If I wasn't married to an so/sx and didn't have kids they wouldn't happen. My favorite Thanksgiving was visiting my sis and us making veggie burritos and going for a bike ride.

    - Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid
    Hmm. I don't know what you mean. Oh wait, yeah- I'm married, so I guess there is that.

    Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?
    I would like going to the cathedral at Christmas if they would just play music and I could enjoy looking at the art and architecture of the church and didn't have the whole religion garbage going along with it. I hate the whole Christmas present bit but I do like getting together with my family. I like talking about enneagram on here, which I think is a social sort of thing.

  9. #19
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How do you feel about these things?

    - Civic events/actions like elections and voting
    - Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
    - Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

    Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

    I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.
    Elections and voting...never done either of them. Nor would I. In the words of Rick James, "Crap, crap...lies, fabrications, CRAP!"

    Ooh...I wish I lived in a place where there were more holidays, festivals and such. I just like all the energy and excitement that comes from these events. I'm also very fascinated by rituals, the symbolism embedded in such events, the trappings and trimmings. I've never attended events to "be" with other people.

    I don't count Christmas and stuff in that. The last 3 months of the year are the most miserable time of the year--I freaking hate the holiday season. Empty and plastic. I didn't grow up celebrating it so that may have something to do with it but not entirely.

    I had to attend a lot of stuff as a kid...I hated it. The only good thing to come of it was the inevitable drama. I just don't want to spend time with people that way. It made it hard because in my family, it's totally expected. I cannot even begin to explain what a big deal it is. Family far outweighs the individual. If you don't want to go to stuff, visit, and "group" then they literally think that something is wrong with you...that you may be one of those kind of people.

  10. #20
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How do you feel about these things?

    - Civic events/actions like elections and voting
    - Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
    - Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

    Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

    I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.
    1. I think voting is important, but I also recognize I'm just one vote among many. It is what it is. It only upsets me that people try to rig the game in some way, rather than just presenting available information, then leaving people alone to ask questions and vote their mind -- there's a lot of "gaming" going on. Just like when I used to get something out of watching everyone go up in church for communion (a communal aspect to the ritual), I felt the same things standing in line to vote among a bunch of people I've never met but we all cared enough to show up.

    2. Holidays and festivals have their place. Sometimes there are even past good memories or fun aspects of a particular event. But it is what it is -- just an event, just a day out of the year, etc. Nothing to freak out over or place in too much esteem. Life goes on. I find the extremes annoying... people who either try to get everyone else to conform to their own expectations of an event or people who try to ruin the event for others / disparage people from enjoying it.

    3. Many norms and rituals have some kind of basis to them. Some less so than others, but typically if you want to indulge, find a purpose and then enjoy what you're doing. I just don't see them as involate or "natural law" where if you violate the norm, people should get all pissy. The norms should serve people, not people the norms.


    I can enjoy stuff if they are fun/enjoyable; the fact I can share them with other people I like or care about; it can build a sense of belonging/inclusiveness in a wider community, even just knowing others are having a parallel experience, it's a point of connection. They can be something special you share with those you are close to and it builds a stronger bond. (So there's a "general experience of Christmas" that we all relate to; but for me as SX first there's a sense of private/personal specific experience with people, we have specific memories that no one else shares that are special to me.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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