User Tag List

View Poll Results: Which would you choose?

Voters
21. You may not vote on this poll
  • Super Peaceful, No Drama, but Predictable

    4 19.05%
  • Extreme passion and ecstacy, but sometimes anger, jealousy and shit like that.

    17 80.95%
First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 69

  1. #31
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Lol. You don't solve issues by fighting, you solve issues by saying "I don't like X, let's do it differently". When you get to the point of fighting, it means the disagreement cannot be solved in a more civil way (IMHO). And, for me, when you get to the point of fighting, there is no possible compromise: I want something, and you want something else, and one of the two has either to change its mind or the relationship will end.
    Ok, I'll say 'strongly disagreeing'- is that better? It's not like we're throwing chairs at each other or anything. I can see how that would be misconstrued.

  2. #32
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    double

  3. #33
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,658

    Default

    We barely fight as well. We blow gaskets, for sure, but thats about other things that frustrate us that we bring home. And we know that it aint about the other, so we just let the other rant, or scream at each other to vent without it being a big deal. As FDG said, if we face a problem together and we disagree on how to handle it, it is a matter of discussing it, comparing notes, finding a win-win solution for each one of us and knocking it out of the park as a team. And whoever's field of specialty the problem lies in takes point. It's as simple as that. Saves us a looooot of unnecessary head aches and butthurt.

    In fact, I never met a man that got the concept of arguing with your partner so well. It aint about the fighting or winning, it's about coming to a solution, together as team - as swiftly and efficiently as you can. And sure, being completely honest with each other is a part of that, but it doesn't have to result into a contest or verbal boxing match. In fact, if you've got good communication and make the effort to actually understand where the other is coming from...I don't see why it should.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #34
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Lol. You don't solve issues by fighting, you solve issues by saying "I don't like X, let's do it differently". When you get to the point of fighting, it means the disagreement cannot be solved in a more civil way (IMHO). And, for me, when you get to the point of fighting, there is no possible compromise: I want something, and you want something else, and one of the two has either to change its mind or the relationship will end.
    This is a pretty poor understanding of conflict in relationships, imo.

    Sometimes fighting just means that each side is airing its issues.

    And airing of issues then allows understanding to arise.

    And, after understanding grows, compromise can begin.

  5. #35
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5,628

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Lol. You don't solve issues by fighting, you solve issues by saying "I don't like X, let's do it differently". When you get to the point of fighting, it means the disagreement cannot be solved in a more civil way (IMHO). And, for me, when you get to the point of fighting, there is no possible compromise: I want something, and you want something else, and one of the two has either to change its mind or the relationship will end.
    The day before yesterday my sister and I got into a fight and fought it straight on through to solution/resolution. We both recognized that we had each unknowingly trampled upon some old wounds...and it hurts when this happens. Neither of us were trying to cause drama (and frankly we were both very reasonable in our fighting)...but because we love and trust each other we can safely show each other the extent of our pain and humaness. And I feel so good about her as I type this I'm actually getting tears in my eyes right now.

    Please don't suggest that something is uncivilized merely because human emotions are in play...and the individuals choose not to hide or stuff them. I could make an argument that it's rather more civilized.

  6. #36
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    This is a pretty poor understanding of conflict in relationships, imo.
    .
    I'm just stating my preference in romantic relationships. I don't act like that in my professional life, of course.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #37
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    This is a pretty poor understanding of conflict in relationships, imo.
    .
    I'm just stating my preference in romantic relationships. I don't act like that in my professional life, of course.

    If someone has a different preference, she'll find another partner.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #38
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    The day before yesterday my sister and I got into a fight and fought it straight on through to solution/resolution. We both recognized that we had each unknowingly trampled upon some old wounds...and it hurts when this happens. Neither of us were trying to cause drama (and frankly we were both very reasonable in our fighting)...but because we love and trust each other we can safely show each other the extent of our pain and humaness. And I feel so good about her as I type this I'm actually getting tears in my eyes right now.

    Please don't suggest that something is uncivilized merely because human emotions are in play...and the individuals choose not to hide or stuff them. I could make an argument that it's rather more civilized.
    You may do that with your blood relatives but for me I can't do that with gf-wife-friends. I simply wish to end the relationship if that point is reached.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  9. #39
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    You may do that with your blood relatives but for me I can't do that with gf-wife-friends. I simply wish to end the relationship if that point is reached.
    I don't mean this in a nasty way -- I've always liked you -- but...

    Don't you find that to be rather cowardly?

    It is clearly due to inferior Fi.

  10. #40
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    I'm not sx-dom, but I like a "healthy" argument. It might be cultural, as my mom's side is Latin in origin, but when you CARE about stuff you wave your arms around & a passionate tone enters the voice. Arguing in an animated manner (arguing is NOT the same as "fighting") is "normal". I think it bonds us as a family, because we can operate on that level & know we still have each other's back in any situation where we need to be a united front. You also really learn someone's real feelings & inner workings in these moments. Nothing is taboo. There can be something kind of shallow about not ever arguing.

    I've never had jealousy issues or that kind of drama in relationships, but not being able to rant or disagree passionately would be a problem. Attraction seems to require a kind of "tension" at times & I guess creating some healthy tension here & there can maintain attraction.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

Similar Threads

  1. Do you easily get bored in life?
    By kotoshinohaisha in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-22-2017, 01:24 AM
  2. [sx] sx-doms: do you overvalue sex in your relationships?
    By psyche in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 12-23-2014, 07:10 PM
  3. [sx] How do other instinctual types see Sx Dom ?
    By NK258 in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 03-16-2014, 09:08 PM
  4. [sx] Enneagram sx doms: How do you feel when you aren't sexually desirable?
    By The Great One in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 07-30-2013, 02:58 PM
  5. Do you get bored with your own MBTI type?
    By TSDesigner in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-06-2009, 05:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO