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View Poll Results: Which would you choose?

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  • Super Peaceful, No Drama, but Predictable

    4 19.05%
  • Extreme passion and ecstacy, but sometimes anger, jealousy and shit like that.

    17 80.95%
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  1. #21
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I'm actually more concerned about whether or not I can handle the *extreme ecstasy* that cockburn's describing over anything else. Other than that 2 just sound like "a relationship between two humans... as opposed to two pod-people."
    I picked the second, because if you hope for it, it won't really happen anyway. Not if you're real people, and especially if you're sx anyway.
    The first is easily achievable and prone to self destruction.

  2. #22
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    The first is easily achievable and prone to self destruction.
    ^^I'm so glad you said this...
    My parents have been married for decades in a "cockburn 2" relationship. And I can remember so vividly as a child having one of those *omfg my parents are so embarrassing and weird and abnormal compared to every other couple I encounter in my neighborhood, the community, my friends parents, couples on primetime television...* and gathering the confidence to directly question my mother about it.

    And she said to me... "Watch, young Starry, as the years go by... These couples that seem so loving and agreeable... I promise you that long after most of those relationships and marriages have fallen-apart and ended... your father and I will still be going strong." And I'll be damned... she was right.

  3. #23
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    ^^I'm so glad you said this...
    My parents have been married for decades in a "cockburn 2" relationship. And I can remember so vividly as a child having one of those *omfg my parents are so embarrassing and weird and abnormal compared to every other couple I encounter in my neighborhood, the community, my friends parents, couples on primetime television...* and gathering the confidence to directly question my mother about it.

    And she said to me... "Watch, young Starry, as the years go by... These couples that seem so loving and agreeable... I promise you that long after most of those relationships and marriages have fallen-apart and ended... your father and I will still be going strong." And I'll be damned... she was right.
    Maybe those calm couples avoided bringing up issues altogether though. If people let things fester, then yeah eventually someone or both will have had enough and will axe things.

    But what I'm referring to is relationships where the person is legitimately so easygoing and reasonable that arguments never really happen. Anything that does come up is immediately and genuinely resolved in a friendly manner.

    This is my idea of heaven, but would it be for SX doms?
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  4. #24
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ^ That's entirely possible to achieve - it just takes some conscious effort to actually keep your focus on each other amidst all the things that life throws at you.


    So, you can keep your two imperfect options
    Agreed. We're going to dance horizontally tonight. You're of course female right? ;p
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  5. #25
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    I feel like the first option is underwhelming and the second is exaggerated, but I'm going with neither.

    Don't want a relationship that's routine where everything is the same every day and there is no "spice." I also would not feel comfortable committing to a life-long exclusive relationship if we never got into arguments, friction, or drama.

    On the flip side, I also wouldn't really feel comfortable with someone that made the relationship incredibly dramatic. I like my independence and I don't want people burdening me with their melodrama. The intense connection is a must-have but if there's no stability of there I'd never feel safe with that person despite the attraction.

    So really neither option is preferable to me. Both have ups and downs. I'd prefer some sort of compromise in between.

    I'm darkside so/sx btw.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #26
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    1, easily. I am SO over drama
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  7. #27
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    But what I'm referring to is relationships where the person is legitimately so easygoing and reasonable that arguments never really happen. Anything that does come up is immediately and genuinely resolved in a friendly manner.

    This is my idea of heaven, but would it be for SX doms?
    How on earth do you have a longtime relationship and not have things you disagree about so strongly that you don't argue? You know, I say this, but I know a sp/so couple and they are like how you say and they both seem to be happy about it. My husband and I are kind of amazed by them. We both agree that it's cool for them, but it's definitely not what we want. It seems reeeallllyyyy boring.


    Like @Starry says, I'm glad my kids see their parents fight. I'm glad that they see us openly express our disagreements, because then they also see us dealing with it/ resolving our issues and making things better because of it. It's an incredibly important life skill to learn, that people can still love each other but get angry and strongly disagree about things at the same time. My parents were like this too and I am super grateful. As my mom said to me, "You may hate that person for a few hours and want to change the locks on the house so they can't ever come back in, but you don't run away. You deal with it and make it better."

  8. #28
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Maybe those calm couples avoided bringing up issues altogether though. If people let things fester, then yeah eventually someone or both will have had enough and will axe things.

    But what I'm referring to is relationships where the person is legitimately so easygoing and reasonable that arguments never really happen. Anything that does come up is immediately and genuinely resolved in a friendly manner.

    This is my idea of heaven, but would it be for SX doms?

    Well, I think it's misguided to imagine that sx doms are..."individuals that prefer tragic/combative relationships" ...if that's sorta what you're attempting to get a read on. My sister is a 6w5cp (sx/so)...now married to one of the most calm, accepting, peaceful people I've ever met (IxxP e9...I actually believe she needed to find someone she couldn't scare and with him she did.) They have a very peaceful relationship in spite of her nature keepin it very *real.*

    And honestly, while I've attracted to myself some serious crazies...I consider myself to be fairly peaceful in my relationships so...

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    How on earth do you have a longtime relationship and not have things you disagree about so strongly that you don't argue? You know, I say this, but I know a sp/so couple and they are like how you say and they both seem to be happy about it. My husband and I are kind of amazed by them. We both agree that it's cool for them, but it's definitely not what we want. It seems reeeallllyyyy boring.
    One of my best friends since I was 7 or 8 is getting married this month, and that's exactly how I feel about him and his fiance.

    They are awesome people, and get along super smoothly, probably never fight... but the sex... I imagine, it's boring as all hell.

    I'm pretty sure they're both sp/so (sx last, for sure).

  10. #30
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Like @Starry says, I'm glad my kids see their parents fight. I'm glad that they see us openly express our disagreements, because then they also see us dealing with it/ resolving our issues and making things better because of it.
    Lol. You don't solve issues by fighting, you solve issues by saying "I don't like X, let's do it differently". When you get to the point of fighting, it means the disagreement cannot be solved in a more civil way (IMHO). And, for me, when you get to the point of fighting, there is no possible compromise: I want something, and you want something else, and one of the two has either to change its mind or the relationship will end.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

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