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View Poll Results: Which would you choose?

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  • Super Peaceful, No Drama, but Predictable

    4 19.05%
  • Extreme passion and ecstacy, but sometimes anger, jealousy and shit like that.

    17 80.95%
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  1. #11
    Stansmith
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    Not Sx-first but I prefer the letter, or a mix of both.

  2. #12
    LadyLazarus
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    Yes, it's the reason I broke up with my ex; he NEVER wanted to argue, it was uncomfortable and dull for me to say the least.

    Of course arguing over every little thing/ pointlessly is also annoying and honestly tells me a lot about the person most of the time, I only enjoy arguing where there is meaning and reason behind the argument not just "I want to bug her today because I feel like crap." that tells me he is an insecure, selfish, and emotionally immature man.

    I have always argued with my significant others because I believe we must be upfront about/confront/ actually acknowledge our problems in order to fix them. So far, I have yet to meet anyone who was able to understand that about me without my having to explain it to them(which I learned to do after I broke up with the aforementioned guy).That's something my last boyfriend and I never seemed to agree on, he thought I was just instigating and seemed to be happy to ignore all our issues in favor of short term peace over the long term health of our relationship. However, this is not to say I was never guilty of instigating or lashing out at him over the course of our relationship when I got into one of my "moods", which was obviously wrong of me and I have now become healthier in that respect. Overall, I feel I have a problem with people who are either mindlessly argumentative for being argumentative's sake or too passive and unable/unwilling to cope with strife. Although, I will say the second one drives me way more nuts than the first, marrying a conflict-phobic man would probably drive me straight into an asylum.

    The ideal is obviously someone balanced between the two extremes, but if I had to choose one over the other I'd go with "extreme passion and ecstasy etc." over "boring and peaceful" any day of the week.

  3. #13
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    For SX doms - Would you rather:

    1) Be in a relationship where you NEVER fought, barely even argued, and things were happy but pretty much the same from day to day? Basically zero drama. Good sex.

    or

    2) Have a classic romance novel/soap opera type relationship where you were both extremely wild about each other, but sometimes have loud, angry fights, drama and an element of instability? Something exactly like from The Notebook.. Say, it's 90% ecstacy but 10% drama. GREAT sex.

    And assume this is for an exclusive relationship, not FWB or anything.
    Why even ask this question? It's a no-brainer. 222222222

    The funny thing is that you seem to assume that it's a choice. I don't know how a sexual dominant type could have the former. I mean, I probably look from the outside that my relationship is the first one for the most part, but my emotions in regards to my sig other are constantly changing.

  4. #14
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winds of Thor View Post
    Super Peaceful, No Drama, but Predictable
    Extreme passion and ecstacy,but sometimes anger, jealousy and shit like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ^ That's entirely possible to achieve - it just takes some conscious effort to actually keep your focus on each other amidst all the things that life throws at you.


    So, you can keep your two imperfect options


    Of course we want it all, if that was the option, wouldn't be much of a dilemma, now would it? Curious to see which you sx-y thangs would prefer, even if it's only by 50.000000001% margin.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  5. #15
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    There is no way I can survive in a relationship where my significant other wants to argue. When I argue I become a monster than wants to ALWAYS be right. So I avoid arguing and if you provoke me into and manage to be successful we can go on for 3, 4, 5 hours without finding a solution. Thus I choose 1).
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  6. #16
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Oh, jeez.

    Good question Ms. Cockburn...

    At first, you had me going with the former.

    I've already had too much of the latter, and am over it.

    Well, sort of.

    Cuz with the last two lines of the second one, you kinda threw me back to that one.

    I mean, if it meant good sex vs GREAT sex, and only 10% drama, I might go with the latter.

    My problem has been that, eventually, that 10% gets out of control and becomes 100%.

    The first one sounds nice, but, not gunna lie, after a while, it'd have me clawing my eyes out.

    It also has me wondering about that "good" sex - what's missing there? And is "good" good enough?
    hmm. Honestly, I sort of just threw in the sex bit to pose a tougher dilemma. That, and every time I hear of people staying together (or always getting back together after "breaking up" every other week), "incredible sex" seems to be cited as at least partially the incentive.

    So I imagine their sex has to be beyond what I consider fantastic sex -- these people must black out and see Jesus or something, because how else could sex make drama or unacceptable bs tolerable? They must have like 15 full-body orgasms all at once. lol

    I'm an SP-dom though, so I'm seeing things with a different lens.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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  7. #17
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Umm 2. I'm not really interested in having a roommate that I have sex with. I want to learn/experience as much as I possibly can in my short time and sometimes this works best when challenged by your other half. I believe...or I know you can fight...loud and angry (both relative terms) and yet maintain a sense of respect by remaining mindful of the fact that this is a part of loving that shouldn't be swept under the rug in favor of perpetual agreement. Intimacy doesn't exist until the couple is close enough that they're stepping on each other's wounds from time to time...which is why relationships are considered opportunities for healing by so many.

    I'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'instability'... but if it's 'actual humans experiencing real life' great. In other words, I believe you can be in 2 and dedicated to spending your life with someone.

  8. #18
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Umm 2. I'm not really interested in having a roommate that I have sex with. I want to learn/experience as much as I possibly can in my short time and sometimes this works best when challenged by your other half. I believe...or I know you can fight...loud and angry (both relative terms) and yet maintain a sense of respect by remaining mindful of the fact that this is a part of loving that shouldn't be swept under the rug in favor of perpetual agreement. Intimacy doesn't exist until the couple are close enough that they're stepping on each other's wounds from time to time...which is why relationships are considered opportunities for healing by so many.

    I'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'instability'... but if it's 'actual humans experiencing real life' great. In other words, I believe you can be in 2 and dedicated to spending your life with someone.
    Yes.

  9. #19
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    Yes.
    I'm actually more concerned about whether or not I can handle the *extreme ecstasy* that cockburn's describing over anything else. Other than that 2 just sound like "a relationship between two humans... as opposed to two pod-people."

  10. #20
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I'm actually more concerned about whether or not I can handle the *extreme ecstasy* that cockburn's describing over anything else. Other than that 2 just sound like "a relationship between two humans... as opposed to two pod-people."
    I picked the second, because if you hope for it, it won't really happen anyway. Not if you're real people, and especially if you're sx anyway.
    The first is easily achievable and prone to self destruction.

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