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  1. #51
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Hoo boy, am I guilty of the bolded or what?

    Great post. The only thing I'd argue with is that to a social-dom (from my experience, which is heavily SJ biased), no one is invisible. I've found that social-lasts are very likely to mistakenly see themselves as invisible, and thus act like they are. Which annoys the shit out of me sometimes.
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  2. #52
    Stansmith
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    While I'm aware of my visibility on a practical level, it has little to do with some abstract, overarching concept of social responsibility (or allegiance to a group), nor do I concern myself with whether or not others get the memo. A person could very well be 'invisible' in my eyes.

    It almost sounds like an NF idealism-thing based on some of the sentiments that seem to be shared among some of the ENFPs and INFJs on here, which although generally well-meaning, isn't how I typically rationalize things.

  3. #53
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    While I'm aware of my visibility on a practical level, it has little to do with some grand, overarching concept of social responsibility, nor do I concern myself with whether or not others get the memo.

    It almost sounds like an NF idealism-thing based on some of the sentiments that seem to be shared among some of the ENFPs and INFJs on here, which although generally well-meaning, isn't how I typically view things.
    And whats your partake then in social responsibility ?
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  4. #54
    Stansmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    And whats your partake then in social responsibility ?
    I'm not sure what you're asking.

  5. #55
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    I'm not sure what you're asking.
    That's a bad start
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  6. #56
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    That's not what I keep hearing from the social doms that I have seen on this forum, they all tend to say that "fitting in" is a big part of the social instinct.
    I do echo Haven, it's just you're very aware of what you want to fit in with and what you don't. And you have a good idea of when you're fitting in and when you're not. So you do have a strong emphasis on fitting in, but it's not really always about fitting in so much as understanding that due to the overwhelming level of interconnectedness in the world, you're going to be aligned with something, so you might as well choose it consciously. The social instinct doesn't choose for you to want to fit in anywhere in particular, it just gives you a really clear picture of how you do and don't fit in (which may well be too anxious to be entirely accurate).

  7. #57
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I do echo Haven, it's just you're very aware of what you want to fit in with and what you don't. And you have a good idea of when you're fitting in and when you're not. So you do have a strong emphasis on fitting in, but it's not really always about fitting in so much as understanding that due to the overwhelming level of interconnectedness in the world, you're going to be aligned with something, so you might as well choose it consciously.
    I sort of do this, but I do it just to not be so far out of the social sphere that I'm just totally wierd, if that makes sense. For instance, @Elfboy is social last, and he is the type of dude that would walk around with a white hat, and a white fur coat, and look like a member of the "Playa Haters Club" from Dave Chapelle. I wouldn't want to push my outfits to THAT extreme.

  8. #58
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Hoo boy, am I guilty of the bolded or what?

    Great post. The only thing I'd argue with is that to a social-dom (from my experience, which is heavily SJ biased), no one is invisible. I've found that social-lasts are very likely to mistakenly see themselves as invisible, and thus act like they are. Which annoys the shit out of me sometimes.
    What invisible behavior annoys the shit out of you? Curious.

  9. #59
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I do echo Haven, it's just you're very aware of what you want to fit in with and what you don't. And you have a good idea of when you're fitting in and when you're not. So you do have a strong emphasis on fitting in, but it's not really always about fitting in so much as understanding that due to the overwhelming level of interconnectedness in the world, you're going to be aligned with something, so you might as well choose it consciously. The social instinct doesn't choose for you to want to fit in anywhere in particular, it just gives you a really clear picture of how you do and don't fit in (which may well be too anxious to be entirely accurate).
    Highlighting what I see as really key. Like skylights says, so's have a really good sense of when they do or don't fit in, and what it would take for them to fit in. It doesn't mean though that their authentic self WILL fit in, or that they ever really find a 'group' they feel they actually truly fit in with. Perhaps for so-doms that's like this lifelong mission that they may never find. So there's often a huge dissonance. The awareness of 'fitting in', but also awareness of how being true to yourself means you won't fit in. That sort of thing. (At least my own experience, and probably half of what I'm writing is flavored with e4 stuff too) Also - yeah, the anxiety element. Think so dom's can have an oversensitivity to this, so, at times it can work against them, or, the oversensitivity can result in just being wrong.
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  10. #60
    LadyLazarus
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    No I suck ass at socializing as it would require me to focus my attention on someone other than myself and that's just too big of a deal breaker.

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