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  1. #21
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Social instinct isn't about socializing. It's about broader social context.

    All I can say from my own experience is that I'm incredibly asocial and unwilling to be "part of the group". I attribute this to mass amounts of childhood rejection and other adverse circumstances in my life rather than the instincts.

  2. #22
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    Or at least, more likely to leave a genuine impression since they lack the typical constraints that insecure So-doms usually put themselves through?
    I think skylights sums it up mostly. Our dominant instinct is so powerful, because it is subconsciously what we think is our defect. So we do overcompensate for it. And the last instinct is usually so off the board that is does come off with an edge like she said.

    But really it's all relative to the person I'm speaking with.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I do totally agree that Soc-last relating might be more "pure" in terms of less changing of communication to match the situation, but the way I look at it, the changes I do make to my communication to suit the environment make it so that I get my intentions across better. I see it like translating... I know that what I mean in my mind and heart and what someone else might interpret could be different, so I try to change my wording or approach so they can understand my true meaning better. This might impact the "purity" of my initial language, but it might also get my point across to them better, which means that the core meaning gets preserved better.
    I don't do what you're talking about here at all. It just comes out the unfiltered way it comes out.

    So I think that the person perceiving what I'm saying is the decider of whether or not I'm being genuine. :/

    When Social-lasts communicate, I think there can be more misunderstanding on the receiving end because the Social-last hasn't done as much to "translate" their communication into a form that others can readily receive. So to me it's odd when people say that Social-doms are not being authentic, because the whole reason we do change our communication is to be authentic. We just have such a heightened consciousness of our external social environment that we tend to see all the different ways in which our messages and meanings could get misinterpreted, and we feel like we need to account for that when we attempt to reach across the gaps between ourselves and others. But of course we tend to over-compensate, and would do better to be a little more chill about it.
    I love how you do you this. You make me put on the "social dom glasses" lol so I can see it through your eyes.

    To come around to the OP question... I actually would wager that it's Social-seconds who are the most fluid in social interaction. They can see enough of what Social-doms see that they can account for it too but they don't get all hung up on it like we do. Soc-lasts seem to have a bit of an "edge" to their interactions, IME, that can be a bit confusing or isolating to others. Soc-seconds still go about their own business socially and don't obsess but they soften that "edge" a bit.

    Which is not at all to down Soc-lasts - their strength being the unfiltered purity of their communication. I suspect some of my favorite poets and musicians are Social-lasts.
    Yea I think the middle stacking is "just right."
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  3. #23
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    So if I'm reading the responses correctly, So's are actually best at least at being 'socially palatable'.
    This seems like a good summary to me. It's about seeing high level context of group and knowing what will disturb the peace, what will cause others to feel awkward/confused/etc, and minding that (vs someone who doesn't particularly care about standing out, desires to stand out, or is simply oblivious to what would cause disruption/ awkwardness).
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    So if I'm reading the responses correctly, So's are actually best at least at being 'socially palatable'.
    Sounds about right.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Social instinct isn't about socializing. It's about broader social context.
    Sounds about right.

  5. #25
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    I think @Ginkgo's comment is basically the answer to this thread in a nutshell though.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    I think @Ginkgo's comment is basically the answer to this thread in a nutshell though.
    Aww, I try.

  7. #27
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Hmm, I kinda relate to this too though. I'm darkside so/sx though (weaker so stronger sx than usual), and I think it's just that sx wants to zone in on something which is why we come off as drifty or awkward. I dunno, I can get kinda either energized from group interaction when the people stimulate me enough and I feel satisfied with the interaction or I can get kinda down if the conversation was dominated by other people and I didn't really get to pull anything from it. Even in a really small group (3 people, the closest thing to 1-on-1 without not being 1-on-1), I remember going to the gym the other day with two of my friends (xxFJ so/sp girl, ESFJ either so/sx or so/sp guy - he's basically all social and nothing else haha I should start a typing thread for him) and I had to repeat myself FOUR times until the ESFJ guy stopped interrupting me right as I started saying something. Thank god I had the gym to channel my negative energy into after that.

    I know The Great One kept pushing the fact onto me that I liked my cliques because I was so/sx, but really all I care about doing is building relationships. I personally prefer 1-on-1 interaction because it allows me to show all sides of who I am rather than just one, which is what group interaction forcibly limits you too a lot of the time. With just one person, I can show my serious sides and share more meaningful sentiments, while also feeling more free to have fun and do what I want without being collectively judged. If you're in a group to socialize, all you can really do is go with the flow (I mean, you can suggest things but it has to be judged by the whole group which is kinda terrible) unless you REALLY want/need to do something else - in that case you just leave them all to do their own thing.
    You keep saying shit like this, but yet your actions speak louder then words. For instance, every time I have had a skype session with you, and your friends come in the room, you tend to completely ignore me, and just get "lost in the crowd". You have done the same thing when you talk to @Elfboy from what I have heard. This is such a so/sx thing to do: they tend to not just have one intense connection with just one person, but instead tend to bounce all over the room (if you know what I mean). Sx doms tend to be more one-on-one.

  8. #28
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Social instinct isn't about socializing. It's about broader social context.

    All I can say from my own experience is that I'm incredibly asocial and unwilling to be "part of the group". I attribute this to mass amounts of childhood rejection and other adverse circumstances in my life rather than the instincts.
    Yes, it's about the broader social content as well. However, for extraverts, I would say that socializing in the literal sense is definitely affiliated with the social variant.

  9. #29
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Yes, it's about the broader social content as well. However, for extraverts, I would say that socializing in the literal sense is definitely affiliated with the social variant.
    And who did you extravert today ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #30
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    You keep saying shit like this, but yet your actions speak louder then words. For instance, every time I have had a skype session with you, and your friends come in the room, you tend to completely ignore me, and just get "lost in the crowd". You have done the same thing when you talk to @Elfboy from what I have heard. This is such a so/sx thing to do: they tend to not just have one intense connection with just one person, but instead tend to bounce all over the room (if you know what I mean). Sx doms tend to be more one-on-one.
    You've also had a skype chat with me all of 3 times. Wow! Incredible!



    I guess so/sx doesn't care about having substance in its relationships then. Such a shame, I should change to sx/so.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


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