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  1. #21
    Stansmith
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    I could see So/Sp being the type to keep women around as 'status symbols', like all those gangsters in Martin Scorsese movies.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I'm sorry I can't remember, what variant do you identify as?
    Probably an introverted/reserved So/Sx. It seems like a more accurate description for me than Sp/Sx - I'm aware of the social world, but I filter out the things that aren't relevant to me. The fact that I don't pay attention to general societal trends (media, politics, gossip, etc.) is a conscious choice on my part.

  2. #22
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    Probably an introverted/reserved So/Sx. It seems like a more accurate description for me than Sp/Sx - I'm aware of the social world, but I filter out the things that aren't relevant to me. The fact that I don't pay attention to general societal trends (media, politics, gossip, etc.) is a conscious choice on my part.
    Makes sense to me.

    I don't pay much attention to trends either, FWIW. The closest I come is Google-imaging Kate Middleton every once in a while because I really like her style.

    But back to Sp-doms and cheating... someone said something before about it would feel like cheating on oneself. I can see that. When I think of the sp-doms I know, I think for the most part if they cheated, it'd be like shooting themselves in the foot, since they work hard to establish a comfortable "nest" and romantic partner is part of that.

    I do know an Sp-dom who cheated, but he knew the relationship was falling apart, so I guess he felt like it just didn't matter anyway. And he knew she was cheating on him, too. The only reason they didn't break up immediately was because they were long distance.

  3. #23
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Makes sense to me.

    I don't pay much attention to trends either, FWIW. The closest I come is Google-imaging Kate Middleton every once in a while because I really like her style.

    But back to Sp-doms and cheating... someone said something before about it would feel like cheating on oneself. I can see that. When I think of the sp-doms I know, I think for the most part if they cheated, it'd be like shooting themselves in the foot, since they work hard to establish a comfortable "nest" and romantic partner is part of that.

    I do know an Sp-dom who cheated, but he knew the relationship was falling apart, so I guess he felt like it just didn't matter anyway. And he knew she was cheating on him, too. The only reason they didn't break up immediately was because they were long distance.
    Is long distance the new word for internet relationships?

  4. #24
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Let's be fair to people of all instincts here--what they do is THEIR moral responsibility. Correlating the instincts with the likelihood to cheat would basically absolve cheaters of that responsibility--"I couldn't control myself dear, I'm sexual-first!". I believe that each and every one of us is capable of exercising restraint. Actually, I'd say cheating happens for general human reasons not covered by the instincts.

    So no, I don't think being sx-first predisposes you to be a "cheater". It does predispose you to obsessions, desirability issues, and experimentation, but none of those things necessarily have to be sexual in nature. Again, I think sx-doms are as capable of fidelity as the next person if they so choose to be. The same would go for the other instincts, of course.

  5. #25
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Let's be fair to people of all instincts here--what they do is THEIR moral responsibility. Correlating the instincts with the likelihood to cheat would basically absolve cheaters of that responsibility--"I couldn't control myself dear, I'm sexual-first!". I believe that each and every one of us is capable of exercising restraint. Actually, I'd say cheating happens for general human reasons not covered by the instincts.

    So no, I don't think being sx-first predisposes you to be a "cheater". It does predispose you to obsessions, desirability issues, and experimentation, but none of those things necessarily have to be sexual in nature. Again, I think sx-doms are as capable of fidelity as the next person if they so choose to be. The same would go for the other instincts, of course.
    This is interesting cause I really thought that "experimentation" and "restlessness" related with sx doms. That's why I figured it could play a factor.

    I actually thought instincts out of all the typings, would make the most sense.

    Maybe it's cause I really experience the influence of my instincts. It actually does feel out of my control....

    hmmm....

    Like I literally can't force myself to go against my sp instinct. I think it would break me.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
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  6. #26
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    This is interesting cause I really thought that "experimentation" and "restlessness" related with sx doms. That's why I figured it could play a factor.

    I actually thought instincts out of all the typings, would make the most sense.

    Maybe it's cause I really experience the influence of my instincts. It actually does feel out of my control....

    hmmm....

    Like I literally can't force myself to go against my sp instinct. I think it would break me.
    Mine is simply cemented.

  7. #27
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    Mine is simply cemented.
    Does that mean that you can sometimes make conscious decisions to hold it back. Or not at all?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
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  8. #28
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Does that mean that you can sometimes make conscious decisions to hold it back. Or not at all?
    Well I guess through the years, it was a conscience decision I made back then and it just became habit. As in, layer upon layer, cementing it. So I think I could break out of it, if I wanted to, but something would have to change, I guess.

    Like @Sanjuro mentioned. It is still up to the individual to make that conscience effort. There must be some other (external) influences at play to cause it to happen, if it does. It can't be as simple as, oh it's your instinct, you're a write-off.

  9. #29
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    And that being said, are sx doms the most likely to cheat?

    With so doms falling somewhere in the middle?
    The primary motives for infidelity in any "normal" LTR are typically:

    (1) For Men: Opportunity for novelty
    (2) For Women: Feelings that her male partner is not emotionally present and/or supportive in her life.

    Of course, (1) can be the primary motive of a woman seeking variety, and (2) above can be the motive of a committed but lonely man also.
    Infidelity is not a relationship phenomena that has a causative/predictive relationship with any given individual's Enneagram instinctual variant.
    This has far much more to do with overall relationship dynamics, and the individual psychological health of each partner in the relationship.



    -Halla74
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    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

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  10. #30
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    It can't be as simple as, oh it's your instinct, you're a write-off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    The primary motives for infidelity in any "normal" LTR are typically:

    (1) For Men: Opportunity for novelty
    (2) For Women: Feelings that her male partner is not emotionally present and/or supportive in her life.

    Of course, (1) can be the primary motive of a woman seeking variety, and (2) above can be the motive of a committed but lonely man also.
    Infidelity is not a relationship phenomena that has a causative/predictive relationship with any given individual's Enneagram instinctual variant.
    This has far much more to do with overall relationship dynamics, and the individual psychological health of each partner in the relationship.



    -Halla74
    Yea, I hear you.

    I know we're not defined by it or anything.

    But it just makes me wonder if it's more difficult for another type, you know?

    Like cheating doesn't even go through my mind when I'm with someone.

    I just wonder how much it goes through other peoples' minds....and if it's maybe because they have more impulses or something...
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

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