User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 37

  1. #11
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,759

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    @Lexicon
    what if you're happy with the relationship (ie, it provides you with some level of intimacy and support) but you just don't feel like you're getting enough or that it is sufficient to fulfill all of your needs? if I were to cheat, those would be my reasonings.
    I can;t speak for other sp-doms, but I'm only happy with the relationship if certain [mutual] core needs are met. If there were problems I'd address them to my partner directly, and if they weren't working with me actively to resolve them, it'd be time to end things. It wouldn't be a relationship to me at that point.. it'd just be going through the motions of one. Comfort and routine aren't the same thing as growth/intimacy, for me. I am highly idealistic in this regard; give it my all or walk away.

    It also takes so much for me to allow myself to feel that close with someone (entertain the notion of feeling "safe" enough to be vulnerable)- it's not something I'd find so easily in another - it's not anything I actively seek out, even. There tend to be fairly wide brackets of time between my relationships, probably because of this.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #12
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Myself, I think I would only cheat if the terms of the relationship were violated but it was extremely impractical for me to leave. Like if my husband betrayed me or rejected me over a long period of time, but I'd be homeless if I left. Or maybe if I didn't think my kids would approve of my reasons for leaving and I thought I could keep them from learning of my infidelity.

    They would understand (I think) if their dad was abusive or cheated on me, but they wouldn't understand if he just decided to never have sex with me again and/or not spend time with me anymore.

    I think I could handle it if I was single, but I couldn't handle sleeping next to someone who wanted nothing to do with me for years without needing someone to want me. And he wouldn't divorce me unless I was gambling away all of our money and assets, probably, so I would look like the bad guy to them.

    Or maybe if he became mentally incompetent due to mental illness or dementia. I'd still take care of him unless he was violent, but I'd probably be really lonely and vulnerable.

    I don't believe any of these are likely scenarios because my husband is a good man and he loves me, but I always think of the worst case scenario.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #13
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,759

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I think I could handle it if I was single, but I couldn't handle sleeping next to someone who wanted nothing to do with me for years
    Sleeping next to someone who goes through the motions of a relationship without really being 'present' anymore is my definition of loneliness when it comes to matters of love. I'm totally fine going solo, but laying next to someone as they snooze, comfortable in their complacency, while you stare at the ceiling-- that emptiness eats away at you.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #14
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Sleeping next to someone who goes through the motions of a relationship without really being 'present' anymore is my definition of loneliness when it comes to matters of love. I'm totally fine going solo, but laying next to someone as they snooze, comfortable in their complacency, while you stare at the ceiling-- that emptiness eats away at you.
    Yeah. I'm pretty sure that would screw with my head enough that I would become capable of cheating if I couldn't extricate myself without destroying everything else of value to me.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #15
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    I always seem to end things first before moving on. So I guess, if I see something I'm interested in, I will drop what I have and go for that, after some major consideration.

  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    I can't see the Sp-doms I know well as being likely to cheat, but they also tend to retain more independence and self-direction than I do in a relationship. I think it probably falls along the lines of what @Amargith and @Elfboy were saying about each variant has its own reasons to cheat and it's hard to compare.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith
    Ha, isn't the stereotypical player some sort of So-Dom?
    Yeah probably and to some extent I can see it... because feelings of intimacy and close relationships with a number of people is pretty So/Sx territory. But then I really like all my worlds to meld together, and the thing about cheating is you have to keep the worlds separate for it to work out. I'm guessing that some So/Sx people can go through a phase of it, but I don't think it's very likely to end up being a long-running pattern, because their tendency is to unite, and cheating runs up against that. Whereas So/Sp is less likely to get emotionally close to two people in the first place, even if they'd probably be better at maintaining separate worlds. Kind of hard to say in general.

  7. #17
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    It's a tough question because the motivations vary so much. Sometimes the "safest" route for person is to try to have their cake and eat it too. If someone wants the security they get from a marriage and the security from not completely committing to a new person, then that could be an example of a cautious cheater.

    As a sx-dom, when I'm in a relationship with a lack of intimacy I can feel the pull of cheating, but I also get so deeply entangled into the psyche of my partner that I experience everything from their point of view as well as mine. In this way, I would experience their pain while I was cheating, so that deep connectedness is prohibitive.

    I just bring up those two example to show that there are many dynamics at work, so generalizations can be difficult to make.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #18
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    576

    Default

    I read somewhere that this is true because it would be like they are cheating on themselves.

  9. #19
    Stansmith
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post


    Yeah probably and to some extent I can see it... because feelings of intimacy and close relationships with a number of people is pretty So/Sx territory. But then I really like all my worlds to meld together, and the thing about cheating is you have to keep the worlds separate for it to work out. I'm guessing that some So/Sx people can go through a phase of it, but I don't think it's very likely to end up being a long-running pattern, because their tendency is to unite, and cheating runs up against that. Whereas So/Sp is less likely to get emotionally close to two people in the first place, even if they'd probably be better at maintaining separate worlds. Kind of hard to say in general.
    Eh...if I felt that strongly about someone, it's unlikely that I'd be interested in anyone else.

    But yeah, other So-doms, sure.

  10. #20
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    Eh...if I felt that strongly about someone, it's unlikely that I'd be interested in anyone else.
    I'm sorry I can't remember, what variant do you identify as?

Similar Threads

  1. [SP] Are Sp's the most common types to be musicians?
    By Blackout in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 03-05-2017, 10:43 AM
  2. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-23-2014, 05:56 PM
  3. Temperment least likely to get laid
    By Zergling in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 06-15-2008, 04:56 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO