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  1. #1
    Stansmith
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    Default Am I So/Sx or Sp/Sx?

    It's difficult for me to properly distinguish between a blindspot and a troublesome first-instinct when evaluatte my motivations, and would appreciate it if some of you could weigh in and share your impressions.

    Self Preservation

    - Do you sensitively respond to your body's needs? When you experience discomfort do you take care to promptly eliminate its source?

    Definitely. Although then again, I'm just unusually sensitive to feelings of hunger, thirst, or any sort of bodily discomfort..so it might not have anything to do with my instinctual stacking to begin with. Perhaps other HSP's can relate.

    - What is your relationship with food - buying, preparing, eating? Do you monitor your nutrition? Do you invest time into food preparation and purchasing exactly the food that meets your dietary requirements?

    While I enjoy doing it on occasion, I'm pretty on-and-off about it...although it does feel good when I get those things in check. Cooking and grocery shopping can be stimulating...at times.

    - How important is your home? How much time and effort have you invested in arranging your living space? Do you decorate/personalize your living space? Do you often fantasize about a perfect home? How important is order and cleanliness of your living space to you? How cozy is your current living environment?

    Very little...although I would ideally have some sort of orderliness in my life..I can't say it's my natural inclination at this point in my life.

    - How important is security for you? Do you regularly devote time and effort into securing and stabilizing your life?

    Not really..although I've yet to go through a serious crisis.

    - Do you carefully manage your savings? Do you often think about your income? What is enough? Is salary a major part in your consideration of a job? Do you follow deals and offers that would allow you to save some money?

    Nope.

    - Do you take care of your health? Are you up to date in your health care appointments with doctors, dentists, etc? Do you go to the gym or track you caloric intake?

    Occasionally. I'm pretty bad with doctors/dentists appointments.

    Sexual

    - Is it easy to spark your interest? Do you often fell interested, invigorated, impassioned by someone or something (e.g. a hobby, subject, or pursuit)?

    Definitely, although the feeling isn't as persistent as I'd like it to be. I'm always searching for that level of stimulation/fulfillment, and feel disoriented when I'm not experiencing it.

    - Is it easy for you to hone in to that which has sparked your interest? Do you feel like your life is in some way directed by these feelings?

    Yes.

    - Is being attractive to others an important quality for you? Do you easily spot attractions between other people?

    I'm more concerned with being attractive to myself, or a potential romantic interest. Otherwise, I'd prefer if most people didn't notice me.

    - How often do you share your personal experiences and preferences with others in conversation? Do you feel at ease when connecting to someone on emotional/personal basis? Do you feel like you need to disclose some personal information in order to relate to someone?

    While I do like feeling a sense of intimacy, I don't usually share much about my personal life.

    - Do you easily discern emotional stimuli and motivations of others?

    I'd say so.

    - Can you easily tell when someone is flirting with you? Do you often flirt? Do people have trouble telling when you are being just friendly and when you are expressing interest in them?

    I'm not good at perceiving romantic interest from others, unless it's obvious.. As for flirtiness..maybe, although it's subtle - I often maintain eye contact and can be slightly coquettish ((?) Not sure if that's the word I want to use) in my demeanor/micro-expressions by default...which could perhaps be misinterpreted. I otherwise don't look to deceive people or lead them on, nor are my 'displays' particularly obvious; it's just a quirk or perhaps bit of self-indulgence on my part.

    - What role does sexuality play in your life? Do you find it easy to openly talk about sexual topics?

    Not openly. My sensuality is subtle..although certainly present.

    Social

    - Do you seek to come in contact with people? Are you open? Do you strive to become acquainted with and be known to everyone in your group?

    Nope. It's more important for me to find someone, if at all. The rest is easy to ignore.

    - When moving to a new place how important is it for you to make new friends? Do you feel like you have a social support network?

    Barely. Nope.

    - Do you experience a sense of belonging to a community? Are you engaged with social issues? Are you a member of any organized groups? What role or position do you usually play in groups?

    Barely..unless it's something I truly connect with - even then, my experience of self is independent of anything external. Any identification with a specific community would be disingenuous and could perhaps be better described as a connection to specific individuals within it. As for my position within a social group..I'd say I play the role of a neutral observer - someone who can play along with the social game (rather passively), but isn't particularly interested in the more trivial aspects of it (influence, reputation, etc.). If anything, I like the idea of a social group that can appreciate what I have to offer, but isn't overly demanding of my time or commitment...thankfully, I don't picture this being a problem for me anytime soon since I don't have much of an active presence to begin with.

    - Do you easily notice when people behave in an inconsiderate, imprudent, discourteous, untactful manner? Does this bother you even if they aren't related to you?

    I'd say so.

    - Are you sensitive to being socially ostracized? Is it important for you to be accepted by your peers? Is it important to you that your partner is acceptable to your friends and family?

    Not so much anymore....although I was insecure about it throughout highschool. It's a silly game to me at this point. I figure it'd be none of their business - if I'm delusional, then let me be free in my delusions.

    - Do you engage in discussions of socially relevant topics (e.g. human rights, social contracts, justice and fairness, cultural and religious themes, political systems, recent news and events)?

    Nope.

    - Do you follow the news? Do you keep aware of what is happening with your friends and distant relatives, in your community, country, worldwide?

    While it sounds nice (particularly keeping in touch with a close relative, or a close friend, if I had one), I'm not very persistent.

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Think of the thing that worries you most, that is most on your mind but you're not necessarily good about = your dominant
    Think of the thing that comes easy to you = your aux
    Think of the thing you fumble coz you don't care enough to invest energy in it = your last

    Fwiw, from the limited exposure Ive had to you, I vote sp-sx
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    No insult to your questionary labors, @Stansmith, but these questions are retarded. I mean, "Do you often flirt?" being somehow indicative of the sexual instinct is pretty laughable to me. This is why all those newbie teens think they're sx-first.

    Something I've found more helpful is to hash out a list of ways you do and do not relate to each instinct, and we'll move on from there.

    A couple of notes:

    - Self-pres is more about finding a foundation in life and regulating your daily well-being rather than being worried about your health and liking to go grocery shopping. You might not even be aware of how much this does or does not play a role in your life till you have lived away from home for a number of years (I thought I was sp-first till I realized how little I care about forming a comfy nest egg in life and became aware of how negligent of my own upkeep I really can be).
    - Social is more about mentally (or literally) "checking in" with the world around you. More withdrawn people may not actively network, but there's an intense interest in the larger world around them.
    - Sexual can bring desirability issues as well as a series of intense obsessions or interests. Sexual firsts are often interested in spirituality or "moving beyond". You seem pretty settled on it being your secondary instinct, so I'll leave that there.

    The important thing is, your ego rests on the issues of your first instinct. It can bring you your highest joy as well as your deepest suffering. Developing self-esteem issues around its failure is not uncommon.

    My two cents.

  4. #4
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    So dom/Sp blind spot: An innate awareness of interconnections between others, knowing where people stand according to those around them, even knowing how to impact on that, regardless of if one would ever be inclined to. A penance to switch between social and anti-social and potential difficulty with maintaining balance there. No interest in self preservational things beyond well, not allowing oneself to die from neglect, focusing on security and paying attention to the basic needs and comforts of life are boring or even a chore.

    Sp dom/So blind spot would be the reverse, the So things would be of little interest, boring, while the Sp things would come naturally, even if they are out of balance at times.

    I'm a So dom and I don't agree with the wording or intent of a bunch of those So things, especially because there is a focus on only one aspect of So in actually being social and engaged as opposed to anti-social, they miss the mark, however the Sp aspect seemed more like a blind spot based on how you answered with lack of interest.

    What's your ennea type?

  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    @Stansmith
    you vibe Sp/Sx in your videos and based on these answers, you sound more Sp/Sx.

    however
    Definitely. Although then again, I'm just unusually sensitive to feelings of hunger, thirst, or any sort of bodily discomfort..so it might not have anything to do with my instinctual stacking to begin with. Perhaps other HSP's can relate.
    yup, I do, and it through a wrench in my typing for a long time because I thought my sensitivity to these things was Sp dom (when I'm actually Sx/Sp). so that's definitely something to consider.

    comparing the Social 6 and Self Preservation 6 descriptions, which do you relate to more?
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  6. #6
    Stansmith
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    Self-Preservation
    Self-preservation Sixes often display a personal warmth that is meant to defang the potential hostility of others. If they sense aggression or disapproval in the environment, they may counterphobically zero in on it. Use humor, charm, self-depreciation to make friends out of possible enemies. Can flatter like Twos, play themselves down, work to maintain other people's affection. Act vulnerable, invite rescue. Ingratiating, but more nervously dependent than other Six subtypes. Also less in touch with their own hostility.

    Their home environment is sometimes important. May feel like their house is a fortress against the outside world's dangers. Worry about their ability to survive; have scary "worst-that-can-happen" fantasies. A good movie example is Bill Murray in What about Bob?. Also Teri Garr in Tootsie and The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz.

    Intimate
    Sixes with this subtype tend to act strong or seductive when insecure. They are much more likely to be counterphobic, especially the men. May seem like Eights, take risks, talk tough. Act powerful and in control at the times when they feel most frightened. Worry about looking weak, having their fears show. May act arrogant but aren't really. Some study martial arts or seek a way of life that makes them strong.

    Beauty is another focus; trying to seem attractive so as to contain fear, get approval, and distract others. May consciously hide behind a seductive mask. Unlike Threes, Sixes know they are hiding. Can act cool and patrician or be flirty. Some have a focus on aesthetics. This subtype often has a stronger connection to the vanity of 3.

    Movie examples include: Humphrey Bogart, Treasure Of The Sierra Madre; Holly Hunter, Broadcast News; Anjelica Huston, The Grifters; Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Class Action; Nick Nolte, The Prince Of Tides; Janine Turner, Northern Exposure. In Batman Returns, Michelle Pfeiffer turns from a meek phobic Six into a fiesty counterphobic Six. When phobic, she is a social subtype (see below). Her alter ego, the counterphobic Catwoman, is an intimate subtype.

    Social
    Social Sixes tend to be dutiful and especially dependent upon authority. More often phobic than counterphobic. Often dedicated to a cause. When acting alone they will still refer to others in their mind for safety and agreement. May want to see your opinion first before they will offer their own. Could change their mind to agree with you. Often align with a group or a cause and will follow the rules loyally, trying to please the boss. "Company men." Focus on a social or work context and try to be ideal within it. Could persecute others in the name of their group's ideals.

    May imagine they can't live without the group's support: "If I don't play by the rules I'll be out on the street selling pencils." Later there's inevitable disillusionment. Then Six starts grumbling that they are not appreciated. Could go passive/aggressive, resent a boss they had romanticized. Connection to 9 is stronger with this subtype.
    Self-preservation: Warmth/affection

    As a self-preservation subtype, you disarm others with your warmth and affection. By acting kindly with thoughtfulness and deferral, people won’t be angry with you or harm you. You’ll make friends and get people to like you by pleasing, supporting and aligning with them – in effect creating a safety zone populated with allies. This makes you feel safe and secure. Avoiding risks and staying within well-known boundaries also can abate your fears. At your worst, you give away your authority and power, paradoxically making you more vulnerable.

    Social: Duty

    In the social domain, you assuage your fear through your loyal duty to a group or cause. You feel safe bonded together with others in a common cause where you understand the needs and assure the code of behavior. You align with people you trust through mutual obligations and sacrifice: “United we stand, divided we fall.” You find power and hence safety in the group’s authority. Knowing the rules and creating clear agreements with friends and colleagues are vital for overcoming your fear. As a Loyal Skeptic, your tendency to project negative power onto the world makes underdog causes particularly appealing. You align with the needy, the oppressed and the persecuted. You work for the cause. The call to duty mobilizes you rather not personal gain, which would expose you. But at your worst, you give away your own authority and power.

    One-to-One: Strength/beauty

    Having power and influence in the one-to-one domain with significant others counteracts your fear. It is safer to manifest power and influence with strength and beauty, appealing qualities that are less likely to create adversarial reactions than raw power moves. Instead of craving reassurance, it comes to you through strength and beauty. Knowing that you affect those close or important to you through your brilliant ideas and physical ability provides assurance. Aesthetic qualities (creating beauty in your environment) and attractiveness command allegiance from others, as do intellectual strength, including fiercely held ideological positions and physical fitness, strength and bravery. Your fear evaporates when you obtain the respect of associates or a mate. While the preoccupation with strength and beauty in one-to-one relating is more common for counter-phobics (because it is more congruent with the coping style), it is more obvious in phobics because it stands out more against a general lack in courage or self-confidence. At your worst, you can become possessed with the need to influence others, and evoke reactions by testing and challenging others.
    These descriptions rely too much on stereotype though.

    EDIT:

    SIX
    In the SP Six, fear manifests as insecurity, as a fear of not being protected. In light of this, SP Sixes seek the warm embrace of family and friends, seeking to escape anxiety through becoming close to and dependent on others. In a world they perceive as dangerous, SP Sixes seek to form alliances; for this, they endeavor to be friendly, trustworthy, and supportive, as allies are supposed to be.


    The SO Six is very concerned with knowing what the rules and guidelines are. Like good girl scouts or boy scouts, they are dedicated to adhering to the group code. These Sixes have the mind of a lawgiver and can be very legalistic. Lacking either trust in self (like the 1-1 Six) or trust in others (like the SP Six), the SO Six relies on abstract reason or ideology as an impersonal frame of reference. These Sixes have a love of precision and efficiency and an intolerance of ambiguity.


    The 1-1 Six is the most counterphobic Six. These Sixes have a need not just for strength, but also for intimidation. There is an inner program that the best defense is a good offense, and anxiety is allayed by skill and readiness in attack. 1-1 Sixes tend to move against danger, and this can give them the look of a trouble-maker. They tend to move toward risky situations, feeling a sense of safety in confronting threats rather than avoiding them, and they trust themselves more than others or rational principles. (This is the countertype of type Six.)

  7. #7
    Stansmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    So dom/Sp blind spot: An innate awareness of interconnections between others, knowing where people stand according to those around them, even knowing how to impact on that, regardless of if one would ever be inclined to. A penance to switch between social and anti-social and potential difficulty with maintaining balance there. No interest in self preservational things beyond well, not allowing oneself to die from neglect, focusing on security and paying attention to the basic needs and comforts of life are boring or even a chore.

    Sp dom/So blind spot would be the reverse, the So things would be of little interest, boring, while the Sp things would come naturally, even if they are out of balance at times.

    I'm a So dom and I don't agree with the wording or intent of a bunch of those So things, especially because there is a focus on only one aspect of So in actually being social and engaged as opposed to anti-social, they miss the mark, however the Sp aspect seemed more like a blind spot based on how you answered with lack of interest.

    What's your ennea type?
    I'd say I'm aware, but it's subtle.

  8. #8
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I find that questionnaire really bad for sp first. I'd be sx/so according to that. sp is more about autonomy & indulgence for me.
    Looking at how each manifests within your core type is a better angle, IMO.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  9. #9
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    I think so/sx.

    But I didn't know that you're a 6.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    @Stansmith

    Based on what you bolded there (I assume it was in response to my question), it doesn't seem like you identify that much with 6...?

    It would be easier for me to see if you discussed how you relate/don't relate to the instincts themselves, rather than the instincts through the fixation. Yeah, it takes an hour of work, but worth it.

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