• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[sx] How do other instinctual types see Sx Dom ?

NK258

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I personally find the instinctual variants incredibly different. And I was curious what So & Sp dominant types thought of Sx Dom folks. What are our positives, negatives etc. Just curious for an outsiders objective perspective of the Sx dominant type.
 

HollyGolightly

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm an sp dom and I have sx last in my instinctual stacking. In my experience I have initially found sx doms to be intense and in my space. Sometimes this scares me away lol. However two out of three of my long term relationships have been with sx doms and I seem to be in "flirtationships" with sx doms quite a lot. Once I am comfortable I do appreciate how they keep asking me questions (the ones I have known ask a lot of questions as if they can't wait to know me) and it makes me feel special rather than intruded upon.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Positives: You're intense and passionate beings
Negativies: You're too intense and passionate about things
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
Nothing to complain about..I can appreciate their candidness.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I've noticed most sx-doms take pride in being sx-dom. :alttongue:

Hmm, on a serious note:

Positives: brings intensity that I desire to the relationship, don't usually get weirded out if I get cheesy about our relationship, a touch of possessiveness I find cute
Negatives: can be overly clingy which might drive me away, sometimes the intensity they bring seems out of place so it's more melodramatic
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I like how Sx-doms get right to the core of things -- it can catch me off guard, but is a pleasant surprise and doesn't make me uncomfortable. On the other hand, the clinginess that Chanaynay mentioned can be a turn-off. Tough to be with someone who wants to be mentally one with you, when you personally need breathing space from time to time.

(This applies in romantic and platonic relationships.)

Positives: You're intense and passionate beings
Negativies: You're too intense and passionate about things
:laugh: This. Totally.
 

NK258

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I must admit, I totally get self conscious sometimes because I know I'm a little much, lol!!

I guess it's okay so long I try to remember to take a break every now and then from the intensity. I just can't help it sometimes. I'm like this with all my close friends (even platonic), I just want to eat them up they're so adorable. I get all aggressive energy that just wants to hug them to death. :wubbie:

I think this was a good reminder. Not to kill my friends with "too much". They never leave scared away mostly but I just sense it that I'm too much. Makes me feel all sorts of embarrassed for being that way. Lol.
 

HollyGolightly

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I must admit, I totally get self conscious sometimes because I know I'm a little much, lol!!

I guess it's okay so long I try to remember to take a break every now and then from the intensity. I just can't help it sometimes. I'm like this with all my close friends (even platonic), I just want to eat them up they're so adorable. I get all aggressive energy that just wants to hug them to death. :wubbie:

I think this was a good reminder. Not to kill my friends with "too much". They never leave scared away mostly but I just sense it that I'm too much. Makes me feel all sorts of embarrassed for being that way. Lol.

Aww don't be embarrassed. It's nice you feel so much affection. What I wanted from my sx friends and significant others was to realise I do feel the same amount of affection for them but I express it in a different way. I've often wondered if I seem to withdrawn and at times aloof to sx doms. My mom is sx dom and I think she feels I am too stand offish sometimes but I honestly do feel very close to her. She's also an enneatype two so she's a walking huggle machine :p
 

NK258

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Aww don't be embarrassed. It's nice you feel so much affection. What I wanted from my sx friends and significant others was to realise I do feel the same amount of affection for them but I express it in a different way. I've often wondered if I seem to withdrawn and at times aloof to sx doms. My mom is sx dom and I think she feels I am too stand offish sometimes but I honestly do feel very close to her. She's also an enneatype two so she's a walking huggle machine :p

Well I just admit, sp doms are tough. In younger form, not so easy not to feel unwanted. I'm still sensitive but I understand more as an adult some people express affection differently. Some of my female friends are sp dom. There's no problem there. Romantically I'm afraid I would feel terribly disconnected if the person didn't make effort to show affection. I think this totally depends on MBTI as well as enng. Let alone person to person. I actually don't like hugging everyone. Only people I'm close with. I'm not THAT bad. Lol! :blush:
 

HollyGolightly

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Well I just admit, sp doms are tough. In younger form, not so easy not to feel unwanted. I'm still sensitive but I understand more as an adult some people express affection differently. Some of my female friends are sp dom. There's no problem there. Romantically I'm afraid I would feel terribly disconnected if the person didn't make effort to show affection. I think this totally depends on MBTI as well as enng. Let alone person to person. I actually don't like hugging everyone. Only people I'm close with. I'm not THAT bad. Lol! :blush:

Yeah I can imagine sx doms would find sp doms hard work lol. I have also learned that people will show affection differently to how I do, such as sx doms, and that's fine :) And lol nobody is as bad as my mother :p

And yeah if somebody made no effort to show affection I'd feel disconnected too. I dated someone once who treated me like I wasn't even there so even when I feel somebody is possibly being a little to intense for me I have learned to appreciate the effort they are making and the genuine feelings they have for me - whether it be in a platonic or romantic way.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
[MENTION=6428]holly[/MENTION]

how can you be the sex goddess if you are sx last? :thinking:
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
[MENTION=6428]holly[/MENTION]

how can you be the sex goddess if you are sx last? :thinking:

Maybe she broke down the physical act of sex into parts, critically analyzed them, and then figured out how to perfect them in herself. :alttongue:
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
But wouldn't SP be most interested in their own personal experience?
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
One aspect that I'm not fond of is the hot-and-cold dynamic I've experienced with some. Although it isn't usually all that bad, I can think of one relationship dynamic I had with an extroverted Sx-Dom that still puzzles me to this day..We seemed to share some sort of 'connection', yet I found her attitude towards me on any given day incredibly polarizing.

While it can certainly be interesting, it's draining also.
 

Noll

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
705
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
Nothing special, I know a lot of people are mistyped as them. So/sp is the most common stacking. I have this stereotypical thinking though that they don't care much about the world or the environment or anything. Which is a bad thing. But I think that if a sx-first fell in love with me, and I liked that person too, I wouldn't have to do all the work. But I don't know if I would like an sx-dom in that way. I tend to be drawn to so/sp, sp/so and sp/sx. I find them the most interesting and relatable.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
"Intense" is the best word overall I think. Sometimes Sx/Soc can press way too hard and fast and it makes me want to run and hide. And sometimes Sx/Sp seems very dramatic... which I do want from time to time and in private, especially in romantic relationships, but I feel uncomfortable about too much in public. However, I like the way they get to the core, like EJCC said, and I love their zest for life.
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
They often post about unintentionally coming on too strong and bothering people with their intensity when it isn't intended or personal and they are just acting like who they are. I can empathize because there is an equivalent: I am 90 percent of the time not rejecting life as a general experience and not personally rejecting you. It is that some of the things and behaviors that fill you with life drain mine - sometimes a lot, and it would be a lot shittier of me to pretend or lie that it doesn't happen. There is effort to be made on both sides, and we each sometimes go too far to appease our instincts, in which cases a reminder to consider the other is warranted. But especially on an everyday level, I am happier and healthier than you think without being "drawn out of my shell". I am not enjoying my shell, either, or complacent in it. I am a different animal altogether: I do not have a shell.

I find it hard to get along with Sx dominants when what each of us needs to live is like a shock collar on the other person. Once again, nobody should be selfish, and people with different needs can collaborate successfully with equal, considerate effort. I am just airing my frustration with a small and extreme fraction of cases where basic needs are divergent to such a stressful extreme to both parties that the choice to collaborate in the first place wasn't worth anything it could produce. Some people just should not work closely, and I often am the person to see that first.

Besides outlying conflicts, I admire and respect Sx a great deal. I see the risks they take as courageous, though maybe just because I know how it would take guts for me to be like that because it's out of my type.
 

hjgbujhghg

I am
Joined
Jun 6, 2013
Messages
3,333
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
For me sx doms are too intense and can be even emotionally draining. They can seem very interesting at the first sight with all their passion and usual charisma it's easy to fall for them, but for me I can't be with them for long without feeling drained.
 
Top