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Thread: so/sp

  1. #1
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Default so/sp

    identify heavily with others expectations. as a result, at their most stressed can be very all or nothing, because they have such a low sensitivity for disappointing others that they can get into a state of wanting to run away while still needing to be around others. this can create a kind of volatility. with 7w6 so/sp, i've seen strong counterphobic qualities. with 3w4 so/sp, i've seen deep difficulty recognizing one's own needs. with 9w1 and 1w9 so/sp, i've seen harsh self-criticism levied against oneself from a place of no accountability to one's own potential.

    in general, a major struggle can be a kind of identification with a market rather than with oneself. so there's often a lot of really self-destructive language utilized from internalizing other's perspectives and expectations without centering one's judgments about oneself in a truly empathetic, real-to-me place. the fear of being wrong or being bad according to others distracts them from truly hearing themselves and accepting themselves as they are.

    in relationships, there co-dependent tendencies can manifest when they don't give themselves self-respect. that is not tied to whether they are meeting/exceeding/disappointing others expectations but is instead based on a real awareness of what they desire and what they see as the potential within themselves that truly deserves to be developed for itself, for themselves, for the life-affirming expression of real individuated passion that it can be.

    they usually have a need to be in nature, finding respite, letting go of the social world. they may feel difficulty in managing their boundaries, either being aloof and formal or feeling like they are just being who others want them to be. they often don't feel ready to push past boundaries or act outside of the roles they have been assigned, having difficulty overriding others definitions of the situation or truly respecting their own definition of the situation (because they are so sensitive to others expectations and, when centered, so sensitive to what others want and need/how to be helpful for them). when they to override, rather than simply focusing on hearing themselves better, it often comes from a place so lacking in self-trust that it becomes really self-destructive and not really attuned to one's own motives, instead simply projecting an opposing, defensive posture.

    when they find a community or cause to truly give to, they truly invest in its continued success. when they can do this and feel part of something that is truly real for them, that truly inspires them, they do their best work. their tendency to meet other's expectations to prevent themselves from truly having to own their own is transformed into a giving, generous attitude of service and mutual commitment to growth.

  2. #2
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    You make us all sound like ESFJs.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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    COCKBURN:

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  3. #3

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    this sounds like Fe and I can't imagine an avarage 4 would ever agree with this...maybe some 3, or 2, or 1, or less individuality seeking types, but this is not a good fit for a so/sp in general sorry...

  4. #4
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SophiaDeep View Post
    this sounds like Fe and I can't imagine an avarage 4 would ever agree with this...maybe some 3, or 2, or 1, or less individuality seeking types, but this is not a good fit for a so/sp in general sorry...
    I agree, and I don't feel counterphobic...
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #5
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    identify heavily with others expectations. as a result, at their most stressed can be very all or nothing, because they have such a low sensitivity for disappointing others that they can get into a state of wanting to run away while still needing to be around others. this can create a kind of volatility. with 7w6 so/sp, i've seen strong counterphobic qualities. with 3w4 so/sp, i've seen deep difficulty recognizing one's own needs. with 9w1 and 1w9 so/sp, i've seen harsh self-criticism levied against oneself from a place of no accountability to one's own potential.

    in general, a major struggle can be a kind of identification with a market rather than with oneself. so there's often a lot of really self-destructive language utilized from internalizing other's perspectives and expectations without centering one's judgments about oneself in a truly empathetic, real-to-me place. the fear of being wrong or being bad according to others distracts them from truly hearing themselves and accepting themselves as they are.

    in relationships, there co-dependent tendencies can manifest when they don't give themselves self-respect. that is not tied to whether they are meeting/exceeding/disappointing others expectations but is instead based on a real awareness of what they desire and what they see as the potential within themselves that truly deserves to be developed for itself, for themselves, for the life-affirming expression of real individuated passion that it can be.

    they usually have a need to be in nature, finding respite, letting go of the social world. they may feel difficulty in managing their boundaries, either being aloof and formal or feeling like they are just being who others want them to be. they often don't feel ready to push past boundaries or act outside of the roles they have been assigned, having difficulty overriding others definitions of the situation or truly respecting their own definition of the situation (because they are so sensitive to others expectations and, when centered, so sensitive to what others want and need/how to be helpful for them). when they to override, rather than simply focusing on hearing themselves better, it often comes from a place so lacking in self-trust that it becomes really self-destructive and not really attuned to one's own motives, instead simply projecting an opposing, defensive posture.

    when they find a community or cause to truly give to, they truly invest in its continued success. when they can do this and feel part of something that is truly real for them, that truly inspires them, they do their best work. their tendency to meet other's expectations to prevent themselves from truly having to own their own is transformed into a giving, generous attitude of service and mutual commitment to growth.
    There's a nugget of truth in most of these points. I see elements of it in myself and, to a lesser extent in my 9w8 So/Sp Dad. However, I think you're rather overstating things, as well as focussing on the unhealthy to average form of the stacking.

    Forgive our wariness. I expect you mean well. It's just that people are quick to bash, belittle and misconstrue Social doms - especially So/Sps. Even the compliments often seem like a condescending pat on the head.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #6
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Forgive our wariness. I expect you mean well. It's just that people are quick to bash, belittle and misconstrue Social doms - especially So/Sps. Even the compliments often seem like a condescending pat on the head.
    If you want a good example of so/sp, I'd say Al Swearengen (ENTJ 8w7).
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  7. #7
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    as a result, at their most stressed can be very all or nothing, because they have such a low sensitivity for disappointing others that they can get into a state of wanting to run away while still needing to be around others.
    sx/so types have the most all or nothing approach to life ime....high temp so/sp types possess a more all-or-nothing like quality in the sense they are the least compromising. with temp states the line between so/sp and sx/so gets blurred when the type is high temp. temp states operates at a more precognitive layer giving variation to the natural "bone-size" of one's fixation...also impacts the way tha stack energy gets filtered. more information on temp states here. aims are loftier than low or medium temp so/sp types in that high temp so/sp types possess a more transformative quality....even being catalysts of movements high temp so/sp types often embody the core social transformations in society.

    some other markers that can have crossover with sx/so intensity: all high temp so/sp have strong voice boxes seeming to talk without ever needing to pause or take a breath. they are rather polarizing. they have a more intense physical energy...gestures are given more force and emphasis. they're louder. they have faster hand-arm movements that can seem to 'levitate' on the air around them. but it's just hammering nails into the social arena with more force and energy than a lower temp so/sp. aside from that there's no significant difference between the high temp so/sp and any other so/sp...lacks the more impish libertine quality of the sx-instinct as high temp so/sp types have a more self-directed, wrathful energy. you will come across plenty so/sp types that pass for so/sx or even sx/so....easiest way to parse out high temp so/sp from sx/so is to grasp for the more focused, lofty, 'untouchable', island quality (sp-wall)...

  8. #8
    Senior Member HBIC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    identify heavily with others expectations. as a result, at their most stressed can be very all or nothing, because they have such a low sensitivity for disappointing others that they can get into a state of wanting to run away while still needing to be around others. this can create a kind of volatility. with 7w6 so/sp, i've seen strong counterphobic qualities. with 3w4 so/sp, i've seen deep difficulty recognizing one's own needs. with 9w1 and 1w9 so/sp, i've seen harsh self-criticism levied against oneself from a place of no accountability to one's own potential.

    in general, a major struggle can be a kind of identification with a market rather than with oneself. so there's often a lot of really self-destructive language utilized from internalizing other's perspectives and expectations without centering one's judgments about oneself in a truly empathetic, real-to-me place. the fear of being wrong or being bad according to others distracts them from truly hearing themselves and accepting themselves as they are.

    in relationships, there co-dependent tendencies can manifest when they don't give themselves self-respect. that is not tied to whether they are meeting/exceeding/disappointing others expectations but is instead based on a real awareness of what they desire and what they see as the potential within themselves that truly deserves to be developed for itself, for themselves, for the life-affirming expression of real individuated passion that it can be.

    they usually have a need to be in nature, finding respite, letting go of the social world. they may feel difficulty in managing their boundaries, either being aloof and formal or feeling like they are just being who others want them to be. they often don't feel ready to push past boundaries or act outside of the roles they have been assigned, having difficulty overriding others definitions of the situation or truly respecting their own definition of the situation (because they are so sensitive to others expectations and, when centered, so sensitive to what others want and need/how to be helpful for them). when they to override, rather than simply focusing on hearing themselves better, it often comes from a place so lacking in self-trust that it becomes really self-destructive and not really attuned to one's own motives, instead simply projecting an opposing, defensive posture.

    when they find a community or cause to truly give to, they truly invest in its continued success. when they can do this and feel part of something that is truly real for them, that truly inspires them, they do their best work. their tendency to meet other's expectations to prevent themselves from truly having to own their own is transformed into a giving, generous attitude of service and mutual commitment to growth.
    I can't say I relate to this at all. This sounds unhealthy all the way.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    You make us all sound like ESFJs.
    It does sound like it.

    Quote Originally Posted by SophiaDeep View Post
    this sounds like Fe and I can't imagine an avarage 4 would ever agree with this...maybe some 3, or 2, or 1, or less individuality seeking types, but this is not a good fit for a so/sp in general sorry...
    Ditto.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    There's a nugget of truth in most of these points. I see elements of it in myself and, to a lesser extent in my 9w8 So/Sp Dad. However, I think you're rather overstating things, as well as focussing on the unhealthy to average form of the stacking.

    Forgive our wariness. I expect you mean well. It's just that people are quick to bash, belittle and misconstrue Social doms - especially So/Sps. Even the compliments often seem like a condescending pat on the head.
    This.

    But in your defense, I realize now that so/sp is probably the most difficult dom to describe.
    Likes Aurora James liked this post

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