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  1. #1
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    Default How does our last instinct manifest itself?

    I noticed the only time I like being social outside of the normal sx/sp way is if people come over to my place or just come into my world in general. If I go over to someone else's place I don't really like it as much.

    I'm thinking that my So manifests with my sp since sp is largely about home life and if people come into my world it's like I'm sharing what's most important to me (sx stuff). So I think my sx or sp have to be taken care of first before I can use So.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    My so manifests in a herky-jerky fashion as a way to secure a network of people for my sp. Also because I'm a 4, I'm always highly interested in what I don't have. It's something that mesmerizes me in other people.

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    I'm not sure how my sx manifests itself, I always romanticize intimacy rather than actually pursuing it at all whatsoever, but oh I really do want it. I'm a passionate person and this I know... Just a little differently. Expressing oneself and seeking contact in the outer world is hard. Then again I'm young, very young! But at this rate... It's awfully sad to even think about, imagine all the people who have always been alone, there must be a few... I doubt I'm alone about feeling this way though, I think you may feel this way no matter what type and instinctual variant you are, somewhere inside of you under my or someone elses far worse circumstances. Very few people actually want to be alone! I can't be the only one having difficulty or being worried and anxious about it.

    Though sometimes I don't care about it at all. It's weird.
    4w5-9w1-5w4

  4. #4
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I think because I'm a 6, what I lack in Sp is sometimes augmented by security concerns - in particular my home being secure, having access to food, clean water, medication, and other resources, and paying my bills.

    But I generally feel similar, in that my other instincts basically always come first. 9 times out of 10 I feel like I sort of use my other instincts as proxy to engage activity that would otherwise be motivated by Sp concerns. Having a Sp-dom significant other has been helpful in that my instincts inherently motivate me to align with him, and he's naturally Sp-oriented, so I end up getting on board with him to take care of both of us.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    I think I am sp last, though I could be confusing this with inferior Si. Take it with a grain of salt.

    Basically, I just forget to do sp stuff. It is not to say that I do not find it important. I do. I just habitually find myself not keeping track of my finances, not remembering to eat, and not keeping track of time.

    Like yesterday I realized I basically forgot to go to the bathroom for 36 hours straight. Its like I need my mom here telling me to go to the bathroom or something.

    There is also an unwillingness to accumulate material goods in my case, because I feel that it weighs me down. I do not understand those who devote their lives to orderly suburban life and 401 Ks and all. We are going to die anyway; why accumulate stuff. Not my values.

    Instead, I spend my life doing the things that the majority of people only dream of. I need several thousand dollars in the bank for emergencies (my family lives all over the world) and enough to do the things I want to do. Everything I acquire beyond that is a game I play rather than a serious life pursuit.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Double post

  7. #7
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    It's usually a blindspot. Supposedly the first instinct is the most problematic (neurotic, perhaps) and the second is the one we have under control, as it's a focus but not overwhelmingly so. By that definition I'd be sx first, but the sp energy suits me better.

    My so blindspot is an obliviousness to my relation to others in a group & sometimes even in friendships. I don't know where I stand with people because I don't think about it enough.

    sp first for me doesn't manifest as the opposite of how people describe sp last (ie. I often forget to eat, don't like being bogged down with too much stuff, etc), but instead is more of an emotional desire for autonomy, to keep people at arm's length so as to not have their needs eclipse mine, etc. It's also an awareness of space, both physical & emotional. With sx second, this creates a real problem. There are also indulgence & denial aspects...it doesn't manifest as anything practical for me. I used to show up 2 hours late to work & can go all day without eating, etc. I guess there is a "recklessness" there for a 4 sp, as Riso-Hudson describe.

    My so last experience, from another thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by so last according to me
    - You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

    - You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.

    - You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.

    - You have trouble seeing the value of "reputation", have little to no awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.

    - You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs

    - Your home is set up to be comfortable to yourself, not company...you don't think in terms of "entertaining"

    - You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).

    - You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...

    - You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.

    - You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it

    - You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.

    - You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people

    - You're hot or cold, with little inbetween. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized; but casual, friendly interaction is hard.

    - You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it

    - It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice

    - Politics are a big snooze fest. You might as well live under a rock when it comes to current events & celebrity gossip.

    - SO types can seem full of BS but also "magical" with the way they bond comfortably or influence others

    - You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.

    - You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    It's usually a blindspot.
    Yea I think it's pretty obvious where it's a blindspot. I'm more interested in if and where it legitimately comes out.

  9. #9
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    @OrangeAppled, as a Soc-last, I approve of that list.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  10. #10
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    I agree with a lot of what @OrangeAppled said HOWEVER I am a gossip fiend and I am genuinely interested in who knows who and all that. But I'm just a lurker I don't actively participate in that.

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