I don't see myself doing that honestly, or even noticing. I'm too concerned with how I look to pay attention to how a friend or significant other does, for better or worse. I only get mad if we're close and you're bringing up my personal business around others (my parents do this ALOT).
Well if you're a 3w4 or 4w3 this makes more sense. Social sixes are focused on the group and being part of it- I am my group. Social fours feel like they are outside of the group and defective because they aren't like the others- I am not the group (but I kind of wish I was). Social threes want to be admired by everyone- I am better than the group (but I'm worthless if the group doesn't admire me).
I've entertained the idea of bringing a friend into another group a couple of times like a stereotypical So/Sx, but never persistently. I'm content with keeping my 'friends' separate 99% of the time.
I think what you do is more stereotypical so/sx. There's the work group, the friends who like this group, the friends who like that group, there's the family group, etc.
My social dom husband constantly monitors how what he or anyone else says comes across, and whether it alienates or includes people. I, on the other hand, am completely oblivious about this. Then he will get irritated by what I say, thinking that I'm deliberately separating myself from the group or what have you. But I just don't notice. I have a hard time seeing why honesty is more offensive than sugar-coating things. Sugar coating things drives me nuts.
I know that what I'm saying could be interpreted as Fe vs Fi, but there is no way my husband is anything but an ESFP, so I can't help but conclude it's a social instinct issue. Once I realized this, and that the majority of our disagreements have to do with social instinct concerns, it became obvious that I'm social last.
Interesting... I never intentionally try to make people feel uncomfortable around me, but I am very honest with my awkwardness and the thoughts that are going on inside my head. Any way, I can see how this could confuse people (and have them think it'a an Fe vs. Fi thing when it may not be). It's just that I never saw it as alienating another person (or even a group of people... I never intentionally put myself amongst a group of people). My boss once called me out on my behavior because she was worried about the things I'd say in front of a group and a former coworker of mine tried to tell me that certain things I say make her feel uncomfortable sometimes. ...It just made me angry because it's like she said I can't be honest with myself. =/
Do you catch yourself summing people up via the details yourself? I do.
A little bit. I find I don't tend to put people against the same standards I put myself. I might think someone's a poor dresser, but what does it matter when they're happier, naturally likeable and more well-adjusted than me.
WTF?!! I can literally relate to everything that is being said in this thread. How the fuck can I be social last?
Originally Posted by SpankyMcFly
...in a group situation and someone says-does something that alienates several listeners with no solution offered and you feel the urge to mediate or offer an alternative perspective to ease the tension of the group.
Those Sx people have their thread. About time we had ours!
Yeah, I do this, but I thought that this was just Fe's attempt to not offend the group?
Originally Posted by skylights
When one pauses to consider whether all of the other Social doms will agree with their statement before posting here.
Well I don't care if people agree with what I say, I just don't want to offend them.
Originally Posted by Stansmith
When you're in a quiet classroom, the professor hasn't come in yet, and you're sort of wondering why people aren't socializing.
Yeah, I do this. I'm not sure if I do it because I'm just bored and just want to do something though.
Originally Posted by Honor
Even when you don't get along with someone or break up with someone, you still want to leave things on good terms so everyone can co-exist in the same group.
Yes this is very true for me. For instance I have this ENTP friend and he loves to hang out with INFJ friend of ours. The INFJ friend is very passive aggressive and constantly pisses me off but I stand him strictly for the sake of being able to hang out with the ENTP friend though. I basically just don't want to lose the ENTP friend because of me pissing off the INFJ friend. The ENTP friend is probably my best friend in the whole world.
I thought not being conscious of what others are doing was an extraverted thing, I never realized that it was a social variant thing. I've been dancing in public (like while shopping ...and I am not a good dancer) ever since I knew how to walk. I'm usually the first person in a group to get up and get food instead of doing that stupid awkward thing where everyone waits until the first person gets up.
How did you conclude that it was an expression of being So-last?
Yeah I hate dancing in front of others as well. I feel like I always have an audience wherever I go, and I want my audience to enjoy what I'm doing.