Mentioning @skylights here as she was also an ENFP who previously typed as sx/so who then switched to so/sx. @EJCC is another so/sx I'd like to hear feedback from as well.
@Elfboy, @Starry, @Lady X, @Vetani, and @Marmotini get in here!
Starting life as a college freshmen definitely provided some needed insight about my true instincts. People have always suggested that I could possibly be so/sx before but I never really paid much attention to it, but now I'm seriously considering it. Actually, I'm changing my listed type from sx/so to so/sx for now.
Some previous things about me that always left me a little curious and doubtful was that I do relate to the bubbly, energetic, playful descriptions of so/sx. I always attributed this to being just a naturally happy person, but I feel like if I were sx/so I would be more dramatic and intense. Not to say I already am a little fiery, but the whole "people love you or hate you" aspect that comes with being sx/so I just didn't understand. I saw this flamboyant, pretty obnoxious gay guy at my school basically go out and try to get on everyone's dick (metaphorically speaking, not literally). I would see him being very bold with people: touching them a lot even though they'd just met and you could clearly tell they looked uncomfortable, trying to be everyone's best friend out of the blue, talking about how he wanted to bang his roommate (????), etc. In all honesty, it annoyed the crap out of me. Of course, I love getting to know people on a personal level as well. But it frustrated me so much how he could be so forward with people and not even care that he was making them uncomfortable. I mean, I think that if you want to make connections, you should at least try to keep them in a happy mood so they won't get annoyed by you. If you annoy them, to me, the effort and energy used to meet people was wasted. I want to make sure all that energy was put to good use and I can say that I made meaningful connections afterward.
Stepping out of my comfort zone really made me reevaluate what kind of person I am. I was under this whimsical childlike wonder that I would always be with people I was close to, but when college started I was a little freaked out. I missed my best friend, I cried to her on the phone for a good hour. Then I cried to another one of my friends over a Skype call. It sucked because all the people I knew and loved with all my heart were so far away, and all I wanted to do was share my new experiences with them. In fact, typing this now is making me tear up. I don't know if it's just me, but saying what I'm feeling or putting it out to the world just makes the emotions so much more real to me. Yeah, I feel things internally all the time, but when I vocalize it to the rest of the world that accentuates the intensity and impact of those emotions for me.
Anyway, college had me freaked out. I have a solid group of three friends. Two of them are cheerleaders so I'm excited for all the parties I can tag along to. But I always find myself worrying that they won't show up when we set up lunch dates or dinner dates. It sounds silly, but I hate the feeling of just standing there by myself or sitting at my own table. It makes me feel incredibly lonely incredibly fast. When I wait for them, I'm always looking around to see if they're there. I guess the way you could describe it is like a lost puppy haha.
I think one reason (albeit a stupid one) I typed as sx/so was because of how much this forum talks about sx-dominance and it's rarity. I love being special and unique, and some posts by sx-doms actually resonated with me but I realize now that it was probably just speaking to my secondary sx. I enjoy being talked about and getting attention and to be honest so or sp never really gets talked about as much here. I know it's probably because sx is so misunderstood and harder to come by as someone's dominant instinct, I probably just wanted to join in on the fun!
One of my main goals in life is also to brighten the world, if not my only goal. My name Chandler indirectly means "maker of light" so I want to bring light into the world of as many people as I can. This is also my method of being remembered and making my mark in the world.
Oh, and I still do have problems with coming off too strong to people and scaring them away and rushing things. I guess my methods are just more socially fit? And they just fail miserably and people realize I want to move things along and run away still.
My OCEAN results seem so/sx as well.
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to write, so I'll just paste some stuff with bold parts of descriptions I relate to. Some questions would help to! Although I'm 100% positive that I am sp-last.
Motivation: to create lasting connections with those they are interested in - the "best friend."
This type has very strong one to one social skills, but is usually uncomfortable in group settings. They enjoy cultivating multiple relationships, and can be intensely involved when in the presence of someone they are interested in, but have difficulty sustaining these bonds when apart. This may give the impression of being flighty and rootless, willing to adapt and mirror others in order to connect, but lacking a defined approach that would give their relationships a more solid standing. They may have political interests, but are generally more pragmatic and less partisan than the other social variant. They are often attuned to pop culture and the latest trends.
Expression: bright smiley, intense expression
Energy: outward energy expressed intensely, broadly
Behavior: bright, smiley, erratic and scattered
Mindset: "If I can get close to people with merging/intensity, I can make sure of and keep improving my position and inclusion in the group/world."
Blind spot: Likely to neglect their desire to seek intense connections and experiences for the sake of their primary concern of building their sense of personal value, accomplishment, and security of place with others, in average-healthy levels. May not have an awareness of the body's need for food or sleep, or of the need to accumulate wealth for reasons of security, or of the need to manage time or resources to establish an orderly lifestyle.sx/so
Motivation: to impact others, question assumptions, challenge convention.
This is the type that exudes the most raw charisma and sexual energy. They may identify so strongly with whatever they're involved with that they often become the symbol of its core essence, and sometimes its lead agent for change. Hardly content with the status quo, this sub-variant seeks to alter the fundamental structure of something while at once embodying it's purest or most extreme form. Possibly attracted to radical views on politics, philosophy, spirituality or creativity that reflect their penchant for testing boundaries. They enjoy pushing other's buttons, especially those resistant to their modes of expression. It's not uncommon for them to have a pet social, political or spiritual cause which they're able to support with heartfelt conviction. May exploit and seek to redefine sexuality to reflect their own colorful and uncertain understanding of it. While prone to exhibitionism, they are strongly attracted to grounding influences which can anchor them and provide stability. Failure to satisfy an especially intense desire for connection may cause this sub-variant to spite others at the risk of jeopardizing the need for an equal, stabilizing force. Can feel pulled between wanting a life of maximum intensity and reassuring episodes of peaceful convention.
Expression: intense, outer-focused
Energy: intense energy expressed outwards, assertively
Behavior: intense, assertive, sultry and aggressive
Mindset: "If I can maintain position and inclusion in the group/world, I can keep up and escalate all this merging/intensity."
Blind spot: Likely to neglect their desire to build their sense of personal value, accomplishment, and security of place with others for the sake of their primary concern of seeking intense connections and experiences, in average-healthy levels. May not have an awareness of the body's need for food or sleep, or of the need to accumulate wealth for reasons of security, or of the need to manage time or resources to establish an orderly lifestyle.Syn-flow: sp → so → sx → sp
Stackings involved: sp/so → so/sx → sx/sp → sp/so
Direction: Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human.Contra-flow: sp → sx → so → sp
Stackings involved: sp/sx → sx/so → so/sp → sp/sx
Direction: Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others.so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving
sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturingSx/so God realm: the gods lead long and enjoyable lives full of pleasure and abundance, but they spend their lives pursuing meaningless distractions and never think to practice the dharma. When death comes to them, they are completely unprepared; without realizing it, they have completely exhausted their good karma (which was the cause for being reborn in the god realm) and they suffer through being reborn in the lower realms.Edit: Aw shit, I should have put this in the "What's my Enneagram Type?" forum. Oh well.So/sx Human realm: humans suffer from hunger, thirst, heat, cold, separation from friends, being attacked by enemies, not getting what they want, and getting what they don't want. They also suffer from the general sufferings of birth, old age, sickness and death. Yet the human realm is considered to be the most suitable realm for practicing the dharma, because humans are not completely distracted by pleasure (like the gods or demi-gods) or by pain and suffering (like the beings in the lower realms).