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  1. #11
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Well, just to balance the load here, this hasn't really ever happened to me, at least romantically speaking. I'm apparently one of those "anti-sexual" sexuals, though.

  2. #12
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    When I crush, I crush hard. It's a pretty fascinating process to me in how absurd it is and I'd be lying if it didn't cause me a certain degree of ontic distress at its existence. Even more terrifying is that it's pretty instant without a consistent pattern aside from the fact that all thought concerning the person completely and utterly rustles my jimmies. It's a completely consuming instensity and like @Seymour, I have a bit of an addiction to the high. I just feels great to indulge in the things the passion tells me to do. Naturally this passion is pumped through the machinery of my overall type in that rather than engaging I'll intensely observe and prepare for some inevitable piece of information that will show the way to unlocking the reciprocation of affection.

    Another thing I really like about it is that it seems to go away rather quickly when the possibility of it becoming a reality ceases to exist. I never think that something like it will never come around again so there's no real sense of loss.



  3. #13
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Fellow sx-doms, what is your experience with limerence? What do you associate with it? Are there certain factors in an attraction which trigger limerence in you? If so, what are they? How long do the feelings usually last for you?
    Woah nelly, I didn't realize there was actually a term for this! It kind of makes me feel better that there is though.

    I've experienced this quite a few times, the first time I remember clearly was my freshman year of High School. I literally walked into my first period German class, made eye contact with this blue eyed dude and time warped-- like literally slowed. There were at least a couple other times in my teens and there have now been at least 3 in my twenties. I associate limerence (as it were) with adventure, pureness, authenticity-- on the flip side with disappointment, obsession, and shame.

    Physical attraction definitely triggers limerence, but sometimes personality plays a part too. Eye contact is key for me.

    I've learned more as time goes, that limerance is not something I can trust. Many times the person on the other end wasn't what I really wanted. We have loads of chemistry, but none of the same interests, values or goals (though the last one was spot on!). I've also learned that I have a serious tendency to freak the other person out. This has caused me to become very cautious, unsure and even fearful of scaring the other person off (and of seeming needy). Unfortunately that means I kind of ignore them, unless I have a legitimate reason to approach. I can tell that they still notice my attention though, even from far off. Le sigh, what a mess.

    I do have the issue that's already been mentioned by some, of setting myself up for failure with false expectations. I've "lived" relationships in my imagination before even finding out if the person even has feelings for me. I now know how to battle that and take my thoughts captive, though when I'm infatuated it is a constant struggle. Usually this involves having pre-set topics ("channels") already set in my head for when a thought of that person comes. If it's a train of thought about my idealized future with said person, I say "NO!" (sometimes audibly, haha) and flip immediately to one of my pre-set channels. This can be anything from puppies, to what's going on in your week, to reciting the alphabet. Call me crazy, but it works!

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I find that the older I get, the more my SP function has developed to try and balance the SX dom out. Instead of just careening off of the proverbial edge without any plan, I now equip a bungee cord.
    I second that.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  4. #14
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    I have no idea what causes it, but there have been times when I feel it swell up like a balloon in a matter of seconds.

    It also tends to happen when I feel that the one person I'm talking to is the best option I'll ever find.

    Its taken experience to realize that not every girl I choose to like is actually "the best one out there." I've had to convince myself of the opposite, actually, that I can afford to be incredibly selective if they aren't perfect.

    It tends to not affect me as much when I'm talking to multiple women, casually, at once.

  5. #15
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Well, just to balance the load here, this hasn't really ever happened to me, at least romantically speaking. I'm apparently one of those "anti-sexual" sexuals, though.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #16
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Just going to echo previous posts and say this has definitely happened to me before. I thought I was one of the only people who experienced this, actually. I'm glad I'm not the only one. The "euphoria to despair" part really caught my eye. The overwhelming emotions when I think of the person I'm with cause my mood to fluctuate like crazy - it's quite an experience. I'm in the same boat as @Qlip since it's usually how I find out I like someone.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  7. #17
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Just going to echo previous posts and say this has definitely happened to me before. I thought I was one of the only people who experienced this, actually. I'm glad I'm not the only one. The "euphoria to despair" part really caught my eye. The overwhelming emotions when I think of the person I'm with cause my mood to fluctuate like crazy - it's quite an experience. I'm in the same boat as @Qlip since it's usually how I find out I like someone.
    @Sanjuro

    So now do you see what I'm talking about? You're just not an sx dom.

  8. #18
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    This happened allll the time when I was a teenager, but not so much when I got older. It's uncomfortable when someone feels this toward me. The expectations.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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  9. #19
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Hmm well I never commented because I read it and was like how is this anything to do with sxness. I mean everyone does this!? Isn't this how people are when they like someone?

    So yeah...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #20
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    This happened allll the time when I was a teenager, but not so much when I got older. It's uncomfortable when someone feels this toward me. The expectations.
    Question: Are you sp/sx?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Hmm well I never commented because I read it and was like how is this anything to do with sxness. I mean everyone does this!? Isn't this how people are when they like someone?

    So yeah...
    No, not everyone does this. This is strictly an sx thing. You are looking at the world through an sx lense.

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