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  1. #1
    Stansmith
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    Default The Social 4; How stereotypical are they?

    The 4 most people envision is the social last or sexual dominant (there seems to be an Sp and/or Sx bias in the way most types in general are described on here), but what does a Social dominant 4 look like? Are they more (reluctantly) conformist?

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    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    I believe my sister is a soc-4.

    I can't attest as to how "stereotypical" she is (according to what standard??), but I didn't really realize she was a 4 till she a) told me she was, and b) went to a therapist due to her apparently tormenting emotions.

    To me, she was a quiet, sweet little girl with a good sense of humor--I thought she was a 9 or 2. She utterly lacks the over-the-top melodrama of which I personally was capable. She's good at making friends--people like her and are attracted to her. She's always got 'em; I dunno how she does that. She really liked emo as a teen, and hung out with other emoists (if I may coin a word).

    That's about all I know about her--not exactly conformist, but not totally independent in her tastes either. And yes, a bit stereotypical. And a bit not.

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    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    This sounds like a job for @ayoitsStepho.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  4. #4
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    The 4 most people envision is the social last or sexual dominant (there seems to be an Sp and/or Sx bias in the way most types in general are described on here), but what does a Social dominant 4 look like? Are they more (reluctantly) conformist?
    I think you're right that they're not what people particularly have in mind when they think of a 4. But I would say the 4-ness still gives off a Sx quality regardless; in Social dominant 4s it's just a little more muted.

    I wouldn't say I'm conformist. As a child and a teenager I functioned more within the bounds of what was relatively commonplace (eg. with music, fashion etc) . I didn't attach myself to or like certain things simply because everyone else did; I had my own tastes and choices, but I wasn't all that experimental and outside the box about them. As an adult I'm a lot more expansive in my tastes. I've spent more time consciously examining what interests me and doing a lot more exploring.

    I think I can edit myself a little better than Sp or Sx dominant 4s - I can be more relatable and adaptable. I wouldn't say I fit in better (I'm not really good at this), but I don't stick out like a sore thumb - not as much as So-lasts (not to say this is a bad thing). I aim to be true to myself without drawing too much attention to my differences.

    I'm probably more cautious about and avoidant of social interaction too.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte
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  5. #5
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    The 4 most people envision is the social last or sexual dominant (there seems to be an Sp and/or Sx bias in the way most types in general are described on here), but what does a Social dominant 4 look like? Are they more (reluctantly) conformist?
    Interesting. I think the self pres four is the least stereotypical four. Social four seems very fourish to me, the type encapsulates the frustration of "I'm so different, what's wrong with me?" more than the self pres and sexual four. I think there can be this desire to be like others, to be 'normal', but they know they can't be, no matter how they try. I think it can make the social four feel especially disconnected and lonely.

    I think most fours that you see out in society (the famous fours), be they artists/ musicians/ novelists have social in the top two of their stacking. I think this has to do with their social focus- they tend to write/sing/create about socially relevant topics, so they are more widely relatable. (But you may be right as far as this forum goes.)

  6. #6
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    I think social fours would use society as their main means of defining themselves. The so instinct sort of accentuates the whole "I'm not like everyone else" sorta thing because the social four would primarily look at everyone else in the first place. So by defining themselves as outside of society, they're connected to society because their exclusion is their way of seeing themselves in terms of the system. And with the four's desire to define their individuality clashing with the social instinct's desire for inclusion and acceptance, the whole melancholy and drama of the four is emphasized as well. I've come to see my 4w3 friend as so/sp rather than sp/so for this reason.

    I agree with @brainheart that sp is probably the least stereotypical four. It's actually listed as the four's countertype in this description:

    The SP Four is someone who does not suffer out loud, does not complain, is relatively autonomous, and who makes a virtue out of enduring pain without wincing. These Fours are tougher Fours, more masochistic than melodramatic. These are also Oneish Fours – stoic, austere, and self-disciplined individuals who challenge themselves to achieve rather than engage in longing.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so

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  7. #7
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I think you're right that they're not what people particularly have in mind when they think of a 4. But I would say the 4-ness still gives off a Sx quality regardless; in Social dominant 4s it's just a little more muted.

    I wouldn't say I'm conformist. As a child and a teenager I functioned more within the bounds of what was relatively commonplace (eg. with music, fashion etc) . I didn't attach myself to or like certain things simply because everyone else did; I had my own tastes and choices, but I wasn't all that experimental and outside the box about them. As an adult I'm a lot more expansive in my tastes. I've spent more time consciously examining what interests me and doing a lot more exploring.

    I think I can edit myself a little better than Sp or Sx dominant 4s - I can be more relatable and adaptable. I wouldn't say I fit in better (I'm not really good at this), but I don't stick out like a sore thumb - not as much as So-lasts (not to say this is a bad thing). I aim to be true to myself without drawing too much attention to my differences.

    I'm probably more cautious about and avoidant of social interaction too.

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Interesting. I think the self pres four is the least stereotypical four. Social four seems very fourish to me, the type encapsulates the frustration of "I'm so different, what's wrong with me?" more than the self pres and sexual four. I think there can be this desire to be like others, to be 'normal', but they know they can't be, no matter how they try. I think it can make the social four feel especially disconnected and lonely.

    I think most fours that you see out in society (the famous fours), be they artists/ musicians/ novelists have social in the top two of their stacking. I think this has to do with their social focus- they tend to write/sing/create about socially relevant topics, so they are more widely relatable. (But you may be right as far as this forum goes.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    I think social fours would use society as their main means of defining themselves. The so instinct sort of accentuates the whole "I'm not like everyone else" sorta thing because the social four would primarily look at everyone else in the first place. So by defining themselves as outside of society, they're connected to society because their exclusion is their way of seeing themselves in terms of the system. And with the four's desire to define their individuality clashing with the social instinct's desire for inclusion and acceptance, the whole melancholy and drama of the four is emphasized as well. I've come to see my 4w3 friend as so/sp rather than sp/so for this reason.

    I agree with @brainheart that sp is probably the least stereotypical four. It's actually listed as the four's countertype in this description:
    These descriptions are making me rethink my variant stackings. I've actually been getting the feeling recently that I'm less SX than I previously thought. That, or I've simply changed. I used to be a lot more intense and quite socially retarded. But now I feel much more SP and SO. I'm not sure in what order. I definitely don't feel as much of the SX as I once did. Perhaps it's because I'm single?? IDK. I do know that I worry about what others think of me and attempt to 'fit in' in a way.

    The thing is, I've met other 4's and they are usually more apt to say, "I'm not like other people." Whereas, I want to scream at them and say, "NO! You are! Everyone feels abnormal!" But I have my moments where I wonder to myself, "Why don't I seem to fit in? Am I not cool enough? Funny enough? Interesting? Am I too self absorbed?" But to state 'I'm not like the others' goes against my beliefs as well, because I don't believe there is a 'normal'. Abnormal is normal.

    Sorry if I'm going on and on at the moment. I was actually going to start a thread on the same topic before running across this one. But I'm just so confused about these instincts. I am prone to the one person audience thing that SX does. I'm very aware of attraction and tension or lack there of between myself and others. But, I'm also conscious of 'norms' and hate standing out of the crowd. I'm very adaptable and know what is appropriate for different situations. I know how to sell myself for a job position. I almost feel as though I jump between SO and SX, by muting myself when in the public realm.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  8. #8
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Paging @Vasilisa
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

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  9. #9
    brainheart
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    @IndyAnnaJoan, instincts are tricky for sure.

    What helped me to figure out I was social last is-

    1. comparing myself to the social 4w5 I'm close friends with. He is so self conscious in comparison to me. He is always monitoring people's reactions to him- he puts a lot of weight on other's approval, like it or not. He also has this awareness and interest as to what is going on in popular culture- music, movies, world events- and posts his opinions on social media. Being the outsider tortures him. I am a lot less aware/ concerned about these things than he is. I really do tend to live in my own little bubble.

    2. Being married to a social dom and realizing that most of our disagreements center on him being irritated by my lack of social awareness and my being irritated by his need to constantly stay in touch with the social realm.

    I think instincts can fluctuate, by the way, but you'll always have a home base. I think your last instinct will be the one that you have to force yourself to pay attention to. It feels like work, while the first will be the one that feels like a compulsion. The second is the one you can moderate the easiest.

  10. #10
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    @IndyAnnaJoan, instincts are tricky for sure.

    What helped me to figure out I was social last is-

    1. comparing myself to the social 4w5 I'm close friends with. He is so self conscious in comparison to me. He is always monitoring people's reactions to him- he puts a lot of weight on other's approval, like it or not. He also has this awareness and interest as to what is going on in popular culture- music, movies, world events- and posts his opinions on social media. Being the outsider tortures him. I am a lot less aware/ concerned about these things than he is. I really do tend to live in my own little bubble.

    2. Being married to a social dom and realizing that most of our disagreements center on him being irritated by my lack of social awareness and my being irritated by his need to constantly stay in touch with the social realm.

    I think instincts can fluctuate, by the way, but you'll always have a home base. I think your last instinct will be the one that you have to force yourself to pay attention to. It feels like work, while the first will be the one that feels like a compulsion. The second is the one you can moderate the easiest.
    Thanks Brainheart.

    I think I am more SO than SX. But I'm positive I used to be SX and then woke up one day SO.

    Would Social 4's still have a degree a the SX tension? I am definitely aware of chemistry between myself and others and will either feed on it or feel uncomfortable if the sexual tension isn't also felt on my end. This even goes for people I have no interest in dating whatsoever. I recall reading somewhere once about how SX types tend to pick out one person in the crowd that they see as their audience. Whereas SO types don't.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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