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  1. #1
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Default Sx doms being "intimidating"

    ive had numerous experiences when other people are ridiculously intimidated of me. i find it very easy to be that way.

    like once, a person whom i knew nothing of blabbered to me, and it bored me ALOT, so i simply focused all my attention to seeing into his head.
    i noticed he started visibly shaking at one point in fear, lols. =D (he also acted all wary of me the next time we spoke.)

    and then i once threatened to kill an 8w7 because he would intentionally hurt me physically, he was all trying to pretend strong with a guitar on his hand in a combat stance, and i was mentally laughing at his pussiness in my head.

    and yeah, i do realize this isnt healthy behaviour, but sometimes i dont know what else to do.

    then there was an occasion when someone took rules too seriously, and would leave me to starve because i wasnt allowed to eat due some stupid rule of meal times. i basically melodrmatically exclaimed my frustration at her. later, we went to talk to a psychologist, and she was all afraid when she told the psychologist that im too intense. that made me just mentally roll my eyes.

    sometimes when im just extremely frustrated and have no idea why or what to do about it, my words will come all poisonously intense like i was about to murder you. and often, peoples stupidity frustrates me into that state.

    and they took me into mental hospital for a half year because of that. if they just told me its not nice behaviour, i wouldve stopped instantly. but no, i guess they think that social norms are somehow obvious to people.

    i guess, intensity is a joke to me.

    often i pretend shy, because people would be intimidated by my eye contact.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  2. #2
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
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    sx firsts have an inner confidence about them that others usually can feel
    it's a sense of not permitting themselves to be pushed around ... sometimes this gets them into trouble if they are not willing to stand down, because in life one must learn how to back down once in a while - you cannot always win

    intimidating is not how I would describe them, unless they are feeling hyper-sensitive and too insecure

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    I'm also a sx/soc 4 and I'm not remotely like this. Sorry but, threads like this are part of the reason I struggled to see myself as sx-dom.

    No, I'm not intimidating. I'm either a withdrawn lil shadow on the wall (in public group situations), or an obnoxious loudmouth (with those closer to me). When I have my inappropriate angry outbursts, I tend to get laughed at/condescended to/dismissed as insane or an irrational female. I'm sure I look ridiculous, not intimidating.

    If anyone does consider me intimidating among the general public, it's likely because I'm so cold and withdrawn that I'm unapproachable.

  4. #4
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    I don't relate to being called intimidating. I'm just a lot to take on. What I DO relate to (and have problems with) is coming off too strong. Whether people see this as intimidating or not is up to them, but I can sometimes scare people away because being so open, personal, and intense at first. I think my social instinct is more developed for this reason so I have less trouble when attracting a mate - it aids in the art of seduction and makes things easier.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  5. #5
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
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    I have to be careful how I come off to people because I scare them away. Most of the time I pretend to be oblivious to people and act like Im more subtle then I really am, because I tend to come on too strong.

  6. #6
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    When I was younger and less...filtered, people saw me as intimidating, yes. It was sheer over-enthusiasm on my end but...yeah they didnt like it. These days I play the aloof card to keep myself in check a bit more. I still get that way when I forget about it and go on a rant about something I'm passionate about. People tend to go 'woah...where did *that* come from?' and all I feel I'm doing is stretching my legs

    So these days, I focus on how comfortable the person in front of me seems and adjust accordingly. I find that the 'intimidating' and 'intense' factor does get very much appreciated by people when you do not necessarily focus it all on them, but make it like a performance on stage for the entire group. It's a way to diffuse it to a pleasant level, apparently.

    The only two places where I nowadays take off the gloves is a) when hunting - I'll start out slow, but once they've made it through the preliminaries, i'll use bursts of intensity to gauge how much they can take...and how much they like it

    And b) when I'm not willing to budge on something. I'll be appear easy-going unless they push - then I'll make it a point to let the dog of its leash as it were to make it clear it isn't wise to keep pushing *at all*. An ice cold statement usually does the trick and it only takes me 10 seconds to go back to being 'pleasant' as to not startle them too much. And usually gets the message across. Unless it is a fellow sx-dom, Ive found. Thats fun too, then you get to go all out for once. And they can be quite a sight to behold
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #7
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    I've been called electric as well as been told that my attempts at softness and weakness were quite futile since I project an air of "independence and that I appear that I don't get intimidated by anything" Also something about "a soul-penetrating gaze" Whenever I look at someone who is looking away, they can feel me looking at them. When I walk into a room, it goes quiet for a bit.
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    ive had numerous experiences when other people are ridiculously intimidated of me. i find it very easy to be that way.

    like once, a person whom i knew nothing of blabbered to me, and it bored me ALOT, so i simply focused all my attention to seeing into his head.
    i noticed he started visibly shaking at one point in fear, lols. =D (he also acted all wary of me the next time we spoke.)

    and then i once threatened to kill an 8w7 because he would intentionally hurt me physically, he was all trying to pretend strong with a guitar on his hand in a combat stance, and i was mentally laughing at his pussiness in my head.

    and yeah, i do realize this isnt healthy behaviour, but sometimes i dont know what else to do.

    then there was an occasion when someone took rules too seriously, and would leave me to starve because i wasnt allowed to eat due some stupid rule of meal times. i basically melodrmatically exclaimed my frustration at her. later, we went to talk to a psychologist, and she was all afraid when she told the psychologist that im too intense. that made me just mentally roll my eyes.

    sometimes when im just extremely frustrated and have no idea why or what to do about it, my words will come all poisonously intense like i was about to murder you. and often, peoples stupidity frustrates me into that state.

    and they took me into mental hospital for a half year because of that. if they just told me its not nice behaviour, i wouldve stopped instantly. but no, i guess they think that social norms are somehow obvious to people.

    i guess, intensity is a joke to me.

    often i pretend shy, because people would be intimidated by my eye contact.
    I think you only scare people because you are reading them, and people don't like feeling powerless. Many people react the same to me, and I can often read people immediately when looking at them. Most of the reactions are not good. So I don't make eye contact with strangers anymore.


    As for myself, I've met several other Sx/So ESTP 8w7's. Many of them look like cuddly bunnies until you look into their eyes and see "the icon of sin." So I suppose its possible people see the same thing in my eyes at times.

  9. #9
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    The intimidation element for me comes as much from SX as it does from my core and tritype. That being said, I don't experience it as overtly as the OP. I have been called intimidating but mostly because I isolate myself in a way that feels cold to others-- I'd almost say unapproachable more often than intimidating, though I can be both. I've been hurt so many times for showing my deep interest in individuals too quickly and openly, that I've developed a mild fear of rejection (especially in regards to those I feel a connection/chemistry with). I've been challenging myself in this regard lately, which has been interesting.

    I can be intimidating because of my tendency to go from introvert to outspoken, righteous anger abruptly. And when I do, it's clear that I mean business. This description is from Personality Cafe, but it hits on what I've experienced quite well-- also, apparently SX first and a core type 4 increase the intensity of this for the 458 tritype:

    "They are intellectuals that take action when they feel strongly about something. Others are always surprised when the 8 appears as this tritype appears quiet."

    And this to further support what I said above:

    "Impenetrable inner world. They are complex individuals, but they are more characterized by the way they tend to push everyone away from them."

    There's more here, if you're interested.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    ive had numerous experiences when other people are ridiculously intimidated of me. i find it very easy to be that way.

    like once, a person whom i knew nothing of blabbered to me, and it bored me ALOT, so i simply focused all my attention to seeing into his head.
    i noticed he started visibly shaking at one point in fear, lols. =D (he also acted all wary of me the next time we spoke.)

    and then i once threatened to kill an 8w7 because he would intentionally hurt me physically, he was all trying to pretend strong with a guitar on his hand in a combat stance, and i was mentally laughing at his pussiness in my head.

    and yeah, i do realize this isnt healthy behaviour, but sometimes i dont know what else to do.

    then there was an occasion when someone took rules too seriously, and would leave me to starve because i wasnt allowed to eat due some stupid rule of meal times. i basically melodrmatically exclaimed my frustration at her. later, we went to talk to a psychologist, and she was all afraid when she told the psychologist that im too intense. that made me just mentally roll my eyes.

    sometimes when im just extremely frustrated and have no idea why or what to do about it, my words will come all poisonously intense like i was about to murder you. and often, peoples stupidity frustrates me into that state.

    and they took me into mental hospital for a half year because of that. if they just told me its not nice behaviour, i wouldve stopped instantly. but no, i guess they think that social norms are somehow obvious to people.

    i guess, intensity is a joke to me.

    often i pretend shy, because people would be intimidated by my eye contact.
    maybe they're not intimidated, they just avoid you because they can sense you're mentally unstable and have no time for it

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