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  1. #11
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I think you only scare people because you are reading them, and people don't like feeling powerless. Many people react the same to me, and I can often read people immediately when looking at them. Most of the reactions are not good. So I don't make eye contact with strangers anymore.


    As for myself, I've met several other Sx/So ESTP 8w7's. Many of them look like cuddly bunnies until you look into their eyes and see "the icon of sin." So I suppose its possible people see the same thing in my eyes at times.
    i suppose, this explains why all healthy sx so's avoid direct eye contact.
    when im at my best, im very intense, and it feels like i could literally burn other people into ash if i accidentally looked them to eyes.

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    The intimidation element for me comes as much from SX as it does from my core and tritype. That being said, I don't experience it as overtly as the OP. I have been called intimidating but mostly because I isolate myself in a way that feels cold to others-- I'd almost say unapproachable more often than intimidating, though I can be both. I've been hurt so many times for showing my deep interest in individuals too quickly and openly, that I've developed a mild fear of rejection (especially in regards to those I feel a connection/chemistry with). I've been challenging myself in this regard lately, which has been interesting.

    I can be intimidating because of my tendency to go from introvert to outspoken, righteous anger abruptly. And when I do, it's clear that I mean business. This description is from Personality Cafe, but it hits on what I've experienced quite well-- also, apparently SX first and a core type 4 increase the intensity of this for the 458 tritype:

    "They are intellectuals that take action when they feel strongly about something. Others are always surprised when the 8 appears as this tritype appears quiet."

    And this to further support what I said above:

    "Impenetrable inner world. They are complex individuals, but they are more characterized by the way they tend to push everyone away from them."

    There's more here, if you're interested.
    interesting, i wont ever hide my affection to others, but im still really afraid of showing them my deeper feelings, because i could be wrong, i might not know whether my feelings are based on sound reasoning or not.. and theres nothing more shameful than having to realize, that ive showered someone with feelings that were based on ill judgment. it makes me feel so stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    maybe they're not intimidated, they just avoid you because they can sense you're mentally unstable and have no time for it
    whats the shaking with fear thing then?

    but yeah, when im better, i know how to hide my intensity, but sometimes i couldnt bother, if they get on my nerves.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  2. #12
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    ive had numerous experiences when other people are ridiculously intimidated of me. i find it very easy to be that way.

    like once, a person whom i knew nothing of blabbered to me, and it bored me ALOT, so i simply focused all my attention to seeing into his head.
    i noticed he started visibly shaking at one point in fear, lols. =D (he also acted all wary of me the next time we spoke.)

    and then i once threatened to kill an 8w7 because he would intentionally hurt me physically, he was all trying to pretend strong with a guitar on his hand in a combat stance, and i was mentally laughing at his pussiness in my head.

    and yeah, i do realize this isnt healthy behaviour, but sometimes i dont know what else to do.

    then there was an occasion when someone took rules too seriously, and would leave me to starve because i wasnt allowed to eat due some stupid rule of meal times. i basically melodrmatically exclaimed my frustration at her. later, we went to talk to a psychologist, and she was all afraid when she told the psychologist that im too intense. that made me just mentally roll my eyes.

    sometimes when im just extremely frustrated and have no idea why or what to do about it, my words will come all poisonously intense like i was about to murder you. and often, peoples stupidity frustrates me into that state.

    and they took me into mental hospital for a half year because of that. if they just told me its not nice behaviour, i wouldve stopped instantly. but no, i guess they think that social norms are somehow obvious to people.

    i guess, intensity is a joke to me.

    often i pretend shy, because people would be intimidated by my eye contact.
    Are you in therapy?
    I think you ought to consider it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    Are you in therapy?
    I think you ought to consider it.
    hm yeah, theyve recommended music therapy for me, but i guess i couldnt do it because of my ear injury.. =/
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  4. #14
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    I remember one time, walking down the hall, someone stopped me and asked who's ass I was going to beat.

    I've always gotten weird comments in the same vein regarding my demeanor, from "you look like you could run the world" to less ego-feeding statements and inquiries like "you look deep in thought" or "what are you staring at?"

    So maybe. I also might be Sp/Sx. I don't know.

  5. #15
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    hmmm, this is a strange question for me because I've considered myself more of a sx-dom than the other two options, but I don't think "intimidating" is descriptive of me. I think there can be a few narrow, specific ways it can happen, but generally I'm the opposite. Growing up I had a lot of trouble connecting and forming friendships or dating, etc. Occasionally someone would tell me it was because I am intimidating, but I can't picture in my mind how that is the case.

    I have been described as an "enigma". I think perhaps I can be a little intimidating to people who are strongly focused on the "norm" because I almost seem like I fit, but there is a vibe that feels really off, and so they are confused by me? I am extremely non-intimidating for people who fall outside the norm in most any direction.

    I'm definitely not a so-dom, and I have elements of sp, but have taken way too many significant risks in my life and am rather comfortable with change, so I couldn't be a sp-dom either. Is there a fourth option?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    i suppose, this explains why all healthy sx so's avoid direct eye contact.
    What makes you think sx/so's avoid eye contact? Is there an article that talks about this or is this just your observations? I mean, I avoid eye contact as a way of saying "I don't bite." I'm not exactly sure when this trend started or what caused it.

  7. #17
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    this thread = mental masturbations of people who want to convince themselves that they're badass
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    I don't think people are ever intimidated by me. I think people feel connected to me quickly actually... Which is why I do well with photography.

    People feel at ease with me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    this thread = mental masturbations of people who want to convince themselves that they're badass
    Are we actually those people?

  10. #20
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    I don't think people are ever intimidated by me. I think people feel connected to me quickly actually... Which is why I do well with photography.

    People feel at ease with me.
    Yeah, I don't think I'm ever intimidating to people. I may seem very personal for someone you've just met, but a lot of people find that a good quality. Maybe being ENFP softens us up?
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


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