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  1. #1
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Default Instincts and relationship stuffs

    So... I'm curious about how your instincts influence who and what attracts and repels you.

    And what would you say your biggest issues in relationships have been?

    what would you describe as your ideal relationship?

    what are your strengths? Weaknesses?

    how do you handle conflict?

    How do you prefer to communicate?

    anything else relevant you want to add.

    Please and thank you.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #2
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    So... I'm curious about how your instincts influence who and what attracts and repels you.

    And what would you say your biggest issues in relationships have been?

    what would you describe as your ideal relationship?

    what are your strengths? Weaknesses?

    how do you handle conflict?

    How do you prefer to communicate?

    anything else relevant you want to add.

    Please and thank you.
    I prefer to communicate over the phone.

    If conflict comes, I submit to keep the peace.

    My ideal relationship would involve peace, love, and cheerfulness.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    As an so ( if that's what you are)
    What type of person attracts you? What type repels you?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    I'm pretty certain I am either sp/sx or sx/sp. I have that sx desire for intense merging with another person, and that sort of energy attracts me as well. I think I am repelled by someone who likes to distribute their attention more widely than I do; I want someone to be focused on me when we are together. I am attracted by passion as well, and a certain zest for life.

    But sp makes that desire moderated; I am repelled by people who seem extreme in relationships, becoming obsessive or very jealous or very emotional. I want to avoid potentially "crazy" people and drama. A deal breaker for a long term relationship would be someone who lacks a sense of self preservation and doesn't care about their health. I need to share interests in that area because it's a big part of my life, as well as having someone I care about live a long and pleasant life.

    So, so I guess doesn't really factor in except that they should share my consciousness of the well being of the planet and how our decisions (particularly economic) affect people globally.

  5. #5
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    And what would you say your biggest issues in relationships have been?

    what would you describe as your ideal relationship?

    what are your strengths? Weaknesses?

    how do you handle conflict?

    How do you prefer to communicate?

    anything else relevant you want to add.

    Please and thank you.
    Oh, didn't answer these.

    My ideal relationship would be to have a perfect soulmate and live happily ever after in hippie fairy bliss. We would build an eco-friendly house, grow our own food, find and grow mushrooms, go to festivals and electronic music events, and go hiking and camping a lot. And merge our energy together with the kundalini energy of the universe.

    If all that doesn't happen, I'll just have lovers with whom I'm happy and share some interests.

    My biggest issues in relationships have been trusting people and being comfortable with being intimate.

    Strengths: I'm fun, passionate, sexy, a genuinely nice person, and completely honest. <-- This can also be a weakness if the other person doesn't like honesty as much as I do. I'm easy to get along with and pretty low maintenance. I'm very intuitive about people's feelings and needs.
    Weaknesses: I have a compulsion to tell my most intimate feelings and insecurities to people. It's something I've recently become aware of, and so will probably moderate a bit in the future. But in relationships I feel insecure about a lot of things and feel like I have to alleviate those fears. Also I over-analyze things all the time and have had a tendency to worry about the future and not live in the moment.

    I handle conflict by figuring out what the issue is, how we both feel about it, what is reasonable, what is feasible, what is normal in the situation, etc. I try to figure out what the problem is and how to solve it, even if it is just in our own psyches (and there is always that component).

    So communication is very important to me. If someone won't communicate or isn't good at it, that's a deal breaker and tends to make me think they don't care about me and the relationship.

  6. #6
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    As sp/sx I feel sort of torn between protecting self and wanting a thrilling intimacy.

    Biggest issues in relationships have been balancing those two... haven't ever been in one that really satisfied both. Some have been safe but not exciting. Some have been exciting, but pretty self-destructive.

    I also think communication can be so hard. And both people feeling ok to communicate their needs. Bothers me when the other person doesn't say what they need/deny it, but also when they try to make me believe my needs or feelings are ridiculous.

    So in that sense I would say an ideal relationship involves honesty with yourself and the other person, as well as kindness/respect towards each other. I have also mentioned this in other places, but for me at least both people would be moving in complementary directions.

    I tend to avoid direct confrontation until I am approaching my limit.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  7. #7
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    I'm sp/sx.

    And what would you say your biggest issues in relationships have been?
    Trust issues. I tend to keep people at bay so they won't hurt me and I like to have the upper hand in terms of emotional control.
    In long-term relationships, I tend to identify so closely with my SO's needs and wishes that the relationship ends up consuming my identity and I lose sight of my own goals and desires. I can feel myself slipping away and I resent it but I can't help it because I don't want to lose the connection either.

    what would you describe as your ideal relationship?
    Kind of like Old Faithful. Calm and reliable with periodic eruptions of excitement and drama.

    what are your strengths? Weaknesses?
    Strengths: Calm, grounded, good at allaying people's worries, willing to adapt to others' needs.
    Weaknesses: Bad at expressing my needs and desires, insecure, tend to bottle up resentment and then explode for inconsequential reasons.

    how do you handle conflict?
    Don't like it. Either I shut down and retreat or I overreact. I have a tendency to self-soothe or drug myself with pleasurable activities and things so I don't have to deal head on with problems.

    On the other hand, I sometimes pick fights when I'm bored or insecure. A good fight can clear the air and make me feel more energized.

    How do you prefer to communicate?
    Mostly receptive/passive. I kind of sit and soak up whatever people throw at me and internalize it and occasionally toss something back if I think it's worthwhile.

  8. #8
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    Oh, one of my biggest weaknesses in relationships is that I sometimes overcompensate in my desire not to be needy or impose on my SO's comfort. Which can come across "Go away, I can take care of myself, I don't need you."

    While I want to be perceived as self-reliant and strong, I also get irritated when my SO doesn't come to my help. So contradictory.


  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Oh, one of my biggest weaknesses in relationships is that I sometimes overcompensate in my desire not to be needy or impose on my SO's comfort. Which can come across "Go away, I can take care of myself, I don't need you."

    While I want to be perceived as self-reliant and strong, I also get irritated when my SO doesn't come to my help. So contradictory.

    Yeah your posts are great... Sounds a lot like my infp sp/sx bf
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I prefer to communicate over the phone.

    If conflict comes, I submit to keep the peace.

    My ideal relationship would involve peace, love, and cheerfulness.
    O_O.. i now just realized why i have absolutely no relationship with my mother, apart from the phone calls. so sp's, sx last, of course, of course..

    @Lady X

    "So... I'm curious about how your instincts influence who and what attracts and repels you."

    So Sx's totally tickle my funny spot.

    "And what would you say your biggest issues in relationships have been?"

    not finding anyone who has long term material. in other words, nothing has ever escalated beyound friendship.

    "what would you describe as your ideal relationship?"

    a female entp, so sx, 3w4. whats so ideal about it? we would be beneficial to each other.

    "what are your strengths? Weaknesses?"

    strengths: play of wit, sensuality and intimacy together.
    weaknesses: i lose all interest if you arent useful to me.

    "how do you handle conflict?"

    stubborness, just reinforce my standing, crush the opposition with sheer rationality. or.. realize that i hadnt thought about it, and cooperate.

    " How do you prefer to communicate?"

    through sensuality.

    "anything else relevant you want to add."

    i like to pretend im a cat. MOOOUWW! =]

    i also like to sing and play music personally for those i like. (due my Fe, i can make music that everyone likes, as long as i get to emphatize them while doing it.)

    "Please and thank you."

    mhh..
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

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