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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I haven't really been feeling that sexually desirable lately, and I think it's taking a tole on my mental health. Other sx doms: Do you feel like you are not sexually desirable right now or have you felt this way in the past? Also what did this feel like?
    I find that my happiness with myself has more to do with my mental state than whether I feel desirable.

    Or to put it a different way, when I've got my life in order and things are going according to plan I'm happy with myself and that happiness catalyzes the confidence that makes me more desirable.

    I've done well with ladies when I've been out of shape and when I've been in shape. But I've never done well when I'm down on myself.

  2. #52
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I constantly hear people say stupid things like you are saying here. They constantly say, "Looks don't matter. It's who you are on the inside that counts". Personally, I always thought that this sounded great on paper, but I rarely find people in real life that subscribe to this philosophy. IRL, I find that looks are one of the most important things that people look for in a person when they are deciding whether or not to date them. It is for this very reason that I want to look as good as humanly possible because I am obsessed with finding a lover.

    Also, I really do fear getting older because I know that my looks will likely fade with time. However, I plan on investing a great deal of money in cosmetic surgery in the future when I get older, so that way I hopefully will look good even when I'm 50.
    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Please don't merely insult my intelligence Great One... I say you outright embarrass me by proving me wrong. This could certainly be done by starting a thread... in where you post a photograph or video of yourself and ask female members which they find more offensive... your appearance or your personality...
    Oh wow. Starry just went full Cyrano...
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  3. #53
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Oh wow. Starry just went full Cyrano...
    I can't stop laughing at this comment... yet at the same time take it so seriously!

    While arguably as unattractive (feeling) as The Great One... Cyrano did not seem to suffer the same ills. One can only speculate as to why...

    “I have a different idea of elegance. I don't dress like a fop, it's true, but my moral grooming is impeccable. I never appear in public with a soiled conscience, a tarnished honor, threadbare scruples, or an insult that I haven't washed away. I'm always immaculately clean, adorned with independence and frankness. I may not cut a stylish figure, but I hold my soul erect. I wear my deeds as ribbons, my wit is sharper then the finest mustache, and when I walk among men I make truths ring like spurs.”



    **********
    And on to of it all he supposedly said weird shit like this... it's truly a mystery as to why so many women apparently found this hideous looking man so irresistible.

    “And what is a kiss, specifically? A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste, a vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip, a rosy circle drawn around the verb 'to love.' A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear, infinity captured in the bee's brief visit to a flower, secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven, the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover's lip: 'Forever.”

  4. #54
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I can't stop laughing at this comment... yet at the same time take it so seriously!

    While arguably as unattractive (feeling) as The Great One... Cyrano did not seem to suffer the same ills. One can only speculate as to why...
    I was actually thinking more along the lines of this monologue. Your direction works, too, tho.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  5. #55
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    I was actually thinking more along the lines of this monologue. Your direction works, too, tho.
    I really love your selection as well. Perfect.

    CYRANO: True; all my elegances are within…

  6. #56
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Oh snap this thread is getting sassy *pulls up a chair*
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  7. #57
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Please don't merely insult my intelligence Great One... I say you outright embarrass me by proving me wrong. This could certainly be done by starting a thread... in where you post a photograph or video of yourself and ask female members which they find more offensive... your appearance or your personality...
    I never meant to come off as though I was trying to prove you wrong. What I meant to do was to speak the truth, and the truth is that the majority of the world puts more emphasis on looks than it does personality. However, to each his/her own.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    I can't really say. Now I can say I do it to attract mates, but this whole obsession started when I was 12, when I literally felt like the only ugly person in the world. In my eyes, everyone else looked either good or normal, while I was just plain ugly. I don't think it was a social rapport thing at all at the time, I just felt like being attractive was the only thing that made me relevant in this world, otherwise I was just an insignificant blip.

    I don't really care for making male friends or being a "bro"; I just see it as a means to an end, because if you don't have friends noones gonna wanna sleep with you. Otherwise, I'm content with just enjoying life, getting laid and having a bunch of acquaintances.
    The bold statements lean me more towards believing that you looked sexy for social reasons more than sexual reasons.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    I find that my happiness with myself has more to do with my mental state than whether I feel desirable.

    Or to put it a different way, when I've got my life in order and things are going according to plan I'm happy with myself and that happiness catalyzes the confidence that makes me more desirable.

    I've done well with ladies when I've been out of shape and when I've been in shape. But I've never done well when I'm down on myself.
    You're right. This probably is more of a mental thing for me, than a purely physical thing. However, it still doesn't change my mindset.

  8. #58
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I never meant to come off as though I was trying to prove you wrong. What I meant to do was to speak the truth, and the truth is that the majority of the world puts more emphasis on looks than it does personality. However, to each his/her own.
    Oh I know. And you are so right when you say 'to each their own.' But I actually am attempting to prove you...somewhat wrong in your understanding...or at least plant a seed for you to consider at a later time...because it makes me feel sad or concerned for you that you would waste valuable time that could be spent towards pursuing your goal of finding another 'Great One' to establish a long-standing partnership with...worrying and trying to remedy something that honest-to-God doesn't have the weight in these matters that you seem to think it does.

    fwiw, I've actually studied mate selection from an anthropological/biological/sociological/cultural standpoint...first as a prospective anthropology student and later in an (employed position) academic collaboration... And I'm telling you that you are wrong because you are wrong. <--Not that the correct answer...or the truth of it is going to be easier for you to achieve...but when it comes to long-term-mate-selection on the part of females? Perhaps all that money you are going to spend on plastic surgery and gym memberships...would serve you better sitting in the bank...earning you some fat interest.

    There was a bunch of research that came out...a decade or two ago...that grossly, grossly, grossly over-emphasized things like...youth, symmetry (especially facial symmetry), waist-to-chest/waist-to-hip ratios, pheromones...in mate selection <--and...wow...weird how certain industries like plastic surgeons, cosmetic corporations, corporations that specialize in health and fitness and Brazilian waxing profited...insanely profited...all while people that can barely make ends meet started to try and figure out how they were going to afford that face-lift they were going to need at 50 and still retire at the new retirement age of 95. Much of that research is in the process of being debunked. One of my favorite studies of all time haha...that I've only read about in journals but will go and see if there's a link to the research on the internet now...is they took large samples of male and female participants that were, like you, interested in finding another person to establish a long-standing romantic partnership with (I've only read of studies done on heterosexual individuals)...and showed them a series of photographs of opposite sexed individuals and asked them to identify which photograph they found most attractive. Included in each set of photographs provided to each participant...was a photograph of the participant themselves that had been digitally altered into an opposite sexed 'person' and...subsequently in the running to be the participant's choice for 'most sexually/physically attractive.' Guess what image people selected over and over again with great significance? (they theorize that when it comes to long-standing attraction - we are most *memorized* by the familiar rather than the exotic. That we are most likely attracted to people that look like the faces...whether they be gorgeous or ungodly...we gazed at in the first few years of life.)

    This is the last I'll say on the issue Great One...and then I'll leave you to your full-length mirrors and thoughts of cosmetic procedures...

    When it comes to long-term female mate selection...physical attractiveness doesn't even make the Top Ten (it does - I believe for males but still nowhere near the top...)

    Fidelity/Faithfulness generally comes in at number one.
    Having what it takes to be a good father is generally close to the top as well...and 'being good father material' comes in high in spite of whether the female wishes to have children or not which I find interesting...and imagine there being a strong evolutionary/biological link involved.
    Emotional Availability is always huge.
    And like I referred to above...Wealth.

  9. #59
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Starry

    1. I'm aware that physical attraction isn't statistically the number one thing that attracts women to men. I have also taken many psychology classes in college and two of them addressed this issue. The research in both classes suggested the number one thing that attracted women to men was MONEY. That's right, cold....hard...cash. The research says that this goes back to the hunter-gatherer society when the male that was the best hunter and provider would typically be seen as the best mate.

    2. There's no way in hell that I believe that the male's level of physical attractiveness was not even in the top ten for long-term mate selection. In every study that I've read, male attractiveness in generally pretty important for females. However, it certainly isn't nearly as important for females as it is for males. For males, female attractiveness was number one on the list.

  10. #60
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    @Starry

    1. I'm aware that physical attraction isn't statistically the number one thing that attracts women to men. I have also taken many psychology classes in college and two of them addressed this issue. The research in both classes suggested the number one thing that attracted women to men was MONEY. That's right, cold....hard...cash. The research says that this goes back to the hunter-gatherer society when the male that was the best hunter and provider would typically be seen as the best mate.

    2. There's no way in hell that I believe that the male's level of physical attractiveness was not even in the top ten for long-term mate selection. In every study that I've read, male attractiveness in generally pretty important for females. However, it certainly isn't nearly as important for females as it is for males. For males, female attractiveness was number one on the list.
    Oh whoops sorry...I didn't realize I was in the presence of a colleague. I see I leave you in your own good hands. Just whatever you do...don't change on the inside... because that is going to be your ace-in-the-hole. I look forward to tracking your progress!

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