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  1. #71
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    So/sx

    The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.
    (Didn't know my instinctual type, did a test so I could tell if this works for me.)

    This doesn't really work for me. Ever since the first time I wanted to seduce someone, groups have made the seduction process harder for me. People are very judgmental when it comes to seduction, I've never come across someone who had a positive opinion about me wanting to seduce someone. Whenever I'm in a group and I want to seduce someone, I have to resist to that temptation and hold myself in. It seems like other people only approve of my seduction choices when I want to seduce someone they picked for me (I never met a good match maker). So when it comes to seduction, I prefer doing it in situations where no one I know could witness it. Sometimes I'll even try to find excuses to meet up with someone one on one. I've never planned a murder, but I think that would feel the exact same way as planning to seduce someone (except for the sexual/romantic part). No, people and groups are the root of evil when it comes to seduction.
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  2. #72
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dancing_Queen View Post
    That's like, the story of my life. I did this in the past and never though anything of it, it was just so natural to me. People think 8w7 Sx/So are beasts who grab who they want by their hair, but I'm much more seductive and persuasive than forceful.

    Damn
    !



    Given the new realization that I'm so/sx moreso than sx/so, I'd like to point out that I really echo @Comeback Girl's feelings about the so/sx description in terms of wanting to get away from the group. I mean, I love groups, but there's something "dirty" about overlapping the relationship and the group. It becomes harder because then you have to choose between what's best for your relationship and what's best for the group, so it's ideal to migrate the budding relationship out of the group ASAP. I also don't have any desire for the group to know how my relationship is progressing unless it's information I've sanctioned for group knowledge, since the relationship is more intimate than the group relationship. I just don't want that tension there - much later, when we're an established couple, the relationship-in-group situation can re-emerge with much more comfort, since we are a stable unit (and what's better than having your partner and your family around?!), but until that, I prefer to keep them separate.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Dancing_Queen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    !



    Given the new realization that I'm so/sx moreso than sx/so, I'd like to point out that I really echo @Comeback Girl's feelings about the so/sx description in terms of wanting to get away from the group. I mean, I love groups, but there's something "dirty" about overlapping the relationship and the group. It becomes harder because then you have to choose between what's best for your relationship and what's best for the group, so it's ideal to migrate the budding relationship out of the group ASAP. I also don't have any desire for the group to know how my relationship is progressing unless it's information I've sanctioned for group knowledge, since the relationship is more intimate than the group relationship. I just don't want that tension there - much later, when we're an established couple, the relationship-in-group situation can re-emerge with much more comfort, since we are a stable unit (and what's better than having your partner and your family around?!), but until that, I prefer to keep them separate.
    EVERY.SINGLE.WORD.OF.IT.

    I also hate the pressure and expectations that come with dating someone from the same circle.But that's not the main issue. the thing is I like to have clean cut limits established in my life, I don't mix my circles if I can't help it.

    I can't phantom how people can share every single detail of their love lives with others. I like my privacy, thank you very much .

  4. #74
    Senior Member Dancing_Queen's Avatar
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    Double post, sorry.

  5. #75
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    (Didn't know my instinctual type, did a test so I could tell if this works for me.)

    This doesn't really work for me. Ever since the first time I wanted to seduce someone, groups have made the seduction process harder for me. People are very judgmental when it comes to seduction, I've never come across someone who had a positive opinion about me wanting to seduce someone. Whenever I'm in a group and I want to seduce someone, I have to resist to that temptation and hold myself in. It seems like other people only approve of my seduction choices when I want to seduce someone they picked for me (I never met a good match maker). So when it comes to seduction, I prefer doing it in situations where no one I know could witness it. Sometimes I'll even try to find excuses to meet up with someone one on one. I've never planned a murder, but I think that would feel the exact same way as planning to seduce someone (except for the sexual/romantic part). No, people and groups are the root of evil when it comes to seduction.
    Interesting. So then what you are saying is that you prefer to seduce people one on one then? I find this fascinating because someone else posted something else in this thread from the Favres that described exactly what you are describing here to a T. It basically said that the so/sx seduction style is as follows:

    First, they meet someone often times through a group setting. After that they choose to single out their target and take them to the side and interact one-on-one with them (SX style). Then after they are comfortable with one another and have developed chemistry (through chatting, going on dates, or whatever), they then introduce them to their group, social click, or whatever. So then finally, after this person has been introduced to their group, they then really prefer to often times hang out with both their click and their significant other at the same time (but not always).

    I think that the popular TV show, "How I Met Your Mother" paints a good picture of the So/sx seduction style. After all, I believe that just about every character in that show is so/sx except for maybe Robin (I think she is So/sp). BTW, I still believe that Ted is So/sx as well, but I think that he's so/sx darkside (social first with very strong sx). Anyway, if you look at how the people in that show date, it strongly personifies the so/sx dating style: The characters first meet someone on the side, single them out, and interact with them one-on-one. After that, they go on dates with them one-on-one and develop chemistry with the person. Finally, they then introduce the people to their little so/sx click, and they tend to like to interact with both their click and their lover at the same time.

    I should probably also point out the differences in the so/sp vs. so/sx dating styles. The so/sx types tend to have one or two small clicks that they like to hang out with and bring along their lovers to interact with. These clicks are generally just composed of a small amount of people (probably not more than like 3-10 people). So in other words, they generally interact in these small, "How I Met Your Mother" style clicks. However, it seems that the so/sp types tend to like to interact with their lovers in very large social settings with large amounts of people. It seems as though the social/self pres types tend to almost be like politicians taking their lovers to large charity balls, in the fact they they love large group settings. lol, now of course the so/sp people aren't all going to take their lovers to large charity balls specifically, but they do tend to favor large social settings, that's all I'm saying.

    A perfect example of the So/sp dating style can be found in the show, "Breaking Bad". In that show, Walter's wife Skyler is pretty much the poster child for so/sp. She constantly is dragging Walter to these extremely large gatherings with hundreds of people in them and is constantly gossiping and working the social arena. She is very much like a politician in this way. I believe that she takes Walter to these events because it brings her great joy to go to these events, and she believes that Walter will have a good time doing this as well. And she believes that through both of them going to these events and having such a great time at these events, that the fun and excitement will bring them closer together as a couple.

    "Breaking Bad" also brings me to my next dating style, which is the sp/so. Walter from that show is an excellent example of how a sp/so treats dating and relationships. Walter, like many of the sp/so types is a very hard worker: He first goes to work and works all day at his job teaching high school chemistry. At that point, he will then go out with Jessie and cook up meth and get his product on the street to make even more money and meet his self-pres needs. Finally, when he comes home, all he wants to do is relax, be comfortable, and maybe have a beer or something. He then will maybe eat with his wife and son and will just bond with them, and chill out. This is his way of being closer to his family and to his wife.

    I've noticed that one key difference that separates the so/sp people from the sp/so people, is that the sp/so people do not like to mix work and play, while the so/sp people do. It seems to me like the so/sp people are always working from sun up until sun down. I've noticed that they also often like to go to social networking events after work, and build even more social contacts as well. The funny thing is that many of the so/sp people won't really view this as doing work at all. They will enjoy the fun of having drinks, socializing, and engaging in activities with others and at the same time they will be building more social contacts that can help them to climb the social ladder and to advance in their careers and they highly enjoy mixing both of these activities at the same time.

    However, the sp/so people are different. The sp/so people like to work hard all day, and then just come home or engage in some type of fun activity to relax. In fact, the sp/so may network with people as well, but they will view it as work, and will not view it as play. The sp/so does not like to mix work and play: they either like to do one or the other. The sp/so either works hard at their job, or they relax, not both.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    !



    Given the new realization that I'm so/sx moreso than sx/so, I'd like to point out that I really echo @Comeback Girl's feelings about the so/sx description in terms of wanting to get away from the group. I mean, I love groups, but there's something "dirty" about overlapping the relationship and the group. It becomes harder because then you have to choose between what's best for your relationship and what's best for the group, so it's ideal to migrate the budding relationship out of the group ASAP. I also don't have any desire for the group to know how my relationship is progressing unless it's information I've sanctioned for group knowledge, since the relationship is more intimate than the group relationship. I just don't want that tension there - much later, when we're an established couple, the relationship-in-group situation can re-emerge with much more comfort, since we are a stable unit (and what's better than having your partner and your family around?!), but until that, I prefer to keep them separate.
    So in other words, you like to seduce one-on-one for two reasons: The first reason, is because you do not want to be socially judged for what you are doing. By this I mean that you don't want anyone in your little so/sx clicks to disapprove of your selection of mates, you don't want them to laugh at you if you fail at a seduction, or you don't want them to judge your choice of strategies to obtain these mates. The second reason is because seducing one-on-one is more intense? Am I understanding this correctly?

  6. #76
    Member Nymphie's Avatar
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    I like cute/pretty boy nerdy types. I usually think "They're so cute! I wanna fuck them...hard." Never tried to seduce anyone yet, though.
    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1076083/platypus-o.gif
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  7. #77
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nymphie View Post
    I like cute/pretty boy nerdy types. I usually think "They're so cute! I wanna fuck them...hard." Never tried to seduce anyone yet, though.
    Is this a troll?

  8. #78
    Member Nymphie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Is this a troll?
    Partially.
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  9. #79
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I have been investigating the seduction styles of various individuals with various enneagram variant combinations. Here is what I've noticed about how each enneagram stack seduces people....
    Interesting!

    Sx/so

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey.
    False, this has nothing to do with seduction - it's how we pursue anything that we are interested in, or committed to.
    Most Sx/So people with a healthy mindset will be more apt to communicate interest in another person, for seduction is many times associated with an ulterior motive, and we're too damn impatient to waste time with such shite.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face. There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after.
    Again, what isn't "in your face" about Sx/So norms of communication and self-expression?
    There's rarely a need to guess about how we feel about anything - whether we're hungry, thirsty, bored, having fun, or as we're discussing at present - interested in another

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy.
    There are some people who come across as creepy when they ask for a glass of water.
    As far as sexy is concerned, beauty (and thus attraction) is in the eye of the beholder, and thus unless there is some ironclad evidence that there is strong romantic attraction between two people, then any communication from on to the other that is in the realm of expressing intense romantic attraction has a huge probability of landing on "creepy" and a slim chance in hell of being "sexy."
    We know where we stand with all things, we are able to communicate this to others in very short order, and we are also very much able to determine what amount of any sentiments we've expressed have been requited - and to what degree we should pursue them, and at what time. This goes for matters that are platonic, business related, or romantic. We don't waste time. It is not our nature.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group.
    I call bullshit on this - TOTAL BULLSHIT in fact.
    Will we walk up to a group of people totally unknown to us and introduce ourselves, and integrate with their conversation? Yes, absolutely.
    We'll maintain harmony with the members of that group, and if any within that group wish to socialize with us outside the boundaries of the group we met them - that's fine, and if they wish to return to their group with or without us, that's great too.
    We don't need to steal people out of groups. We are at one with the world around us, at peace with ourselves, and with all others - whether as individuals or in a group of some kind.
    We are the real deal "people people" - our experiences with others are treasured, and so it makes jack-shit of any sense whatsoever that we'd try to socially engineer division within an existing group of people for any reason. That is against everything we stand for.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.
    Again, unhealthy and selfishly intended people are capable of many bad things, but I hardly think that has anything to do with an Sx/So person's default means of expressing romantic interest in another person. The scenario described above is the head-game playing shite of so many bad movies and TV shows. Blech.

    FYI - none of the above is disgruntlement directed at you; I simply don't agree with how the material in the OP categorizes people who are Sx/So, or their intentions or mechanisms of expressing romantic interest. It's far too general, and it is skewed at describing patterns of behavior typically utilized by selfish, dishonest, unhealthy people.



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  10. #80
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    So in other words, you like to seduce one-on-one for two reasons: The first reason, is because you do not want to be socially judged for what you are doing. By this I mean that you don't want anyone in your little so/sx clicks to disapprove of your selection of mates, you don't want them to laugh at you if you fail at a seduction, or you don't want them to judge your choice of strategies to obtain these mates. The second reason is because seducing one-on-one is more intense? Am I understanding this correctly?
    Well, I don't really think much in terms of social judgment of failing at seduction. I tend to think that a relationship succeeding or failing has more to do with the compatibility of two people and less as being a personal reflection on my ability. So following that, I don't really think about what people think of me and my success or failure to engage in relationships beyond what they think of my overall health towards relationships in general. I don't really think about others' opinion of my strategies either because that also seems like something that is between the object of my affection and myself (though again, I would not want to be seen as someone who is unhealthy about how she conducts her interpersonal relations and relationships).

    I was a fairly late bloomer in terms of relationships in general, and I know some people thought of me as being prudish, but I never really cared because I just had other priorities. I would rather have been thought of as a prude than as boy-crazy or irresponsible. When I did begin to care, I cared most about what my partner thought of me, not whether others approved of the pairing or not. I always think my partner is a good person - I wouldn't be with them otherwise - so I judge other people if they don't see that about them more than I worry about others' judgment of us. I care a lot about what people think of me but it's in a more complex way that approval or disapproval. I don't mind them disapproving of me as long as they see me the way I want to be seen.

    In a similar vein, I do desire the people who are important to me to like my partner if at all possible, because I don't like my relationship to be a cause of bad feelings for anyone. That said, I have never abandoned a partner because of others' negative opinions of them. I feel like it is most important whether I see them as a good person or not. If someone has a negative opinion of them, I do my best to change that. I do, however, consider if their negative opinions have any weight. My boyfriend (who used to work with me) said something cruel once to one of my coworkers, for instance, and she harbors a negative opinion of him for that. I don't hold it against my boyfriend because everyone slips up sometimes, and he said it in response to her not wanting to do a duty that was part of her job - he had to do it, adding extra work to an already hectic day - because she refused. So ideally I would like them to like each other but in the meantime I try to be nice to my coworker as well as my boyfriend and I do my best to see things from both of their perspectives without betraying either of them. He knows how I feel about the situation and even though maybe sometimes he wishes I would just always take his side, he also says that he admires how I try to get along with everyone. In the past I was codependent with a partner who treated me poorly, and others' negative opinions of that person were a big part of getting me out of codependency. There was finally a point at which they treated someone I loved like crap and that was when I was able to completely break away from them. So I feel like my internal sense of give-and-take, kindness, and interpersonal relations is important.

    So, to finally get to seducing one-on-one, it is more about the privacy and intimacy than intensity, though the intensity is pleasing too. I don't mind being with my partner in a group - I actually like it a lot - but I don't want to do my seducing in the group setting because I don't want to reveal the same extent of myself to the group as I do for my partner. I also don't like feeling "torn" between being loyal to the group (especially my family) or loyal to my partner. The longer my partner and I have been together, the better I understand them and have had a chance to smooth things between them and the group, so it becomes easier and easier to be loyal to both simultaneously.

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