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  1. #31
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sulfit View Post
    Sp/so seduction style looks like friendship with benefits. They will offer food and gifts to someone they like, or any other items that signal comfort and prosperity, as well as their own company and conversation about cultural, political, and popular topics. Since they don't like getting into all the wet sx stuff, their relationships are often calm and discreet and based on exchange of material goods and shared social values. The difference between them and so/sp stacking is that sp/so will often directly share material goods to demonstrate their level of prosperity rather than only talking about it to impress the other person with their social status and connections.

    A group of sp/so's socializing looks like farmers gathered to celebrating the harvest and other gifts of their land. They table is stuffed with all kinds of food, there is exchange of goods, social inclusion and loud formal toasts.


    Sx/sp are good at dropping and reading subtle sexual innuendos without overtly talking about their affections. Sp/sx and so/sx are the most open and direct stackings when it comes to seduction and voicing how they feel, but also not as permanent with their attachments as are sx/sp and sx/so.
    Thank you for this. This makes a lot of sense. However, gathering together to talk about prosperity seems like something that both 3's and so/sp people would do as well. So I don't know how reliable this is. It sounds pretty logical so far though.

    Another question:

    What about intimacy: Kissing, cuddling, touching, sex, etc. How fast does that happen for the sp/so? From what I have seen, the sp/so is very uncomfortable with these kinds of things?

  2. #32
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Sp/sx and sx/sp

    The sexual/self-preservation and self-preservation/sexual types tend to have a very one on one style of seduction. Many times they don't like to seduce people through social groups. However sometimes in a social group they will pull aside a person away from everyone else and have a one on one interaction with an individual. It should be well noted that the sx/sp and sp/sx styles of seductions almost always work best one on one. They will quickly create an intense bond between just them and the other individual. The sx/sp and sp/sx style of seduction tends to be very subtle as well and doesn't really come off as in your face.
    That's how I did it

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  3. #33
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    That's how I did it
    Yeah this seems to be congruently true of all the sx/sp and sp/sx people so far.

  4. #34
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Thank you for this. This makes a lot of sense. However, gathering together to talk about prosperity seems like something that both 3's and so/sp people would do as well. So I don't know how reliable this is. It sounds pretty logical so far though.
    Actually sp/so's prefer to not openly talk about prosperity. The first instinct is held too close to heart to be so careless with it. What people do instead is implicitly signal about their first instinct needs (and these signals are read correctly only by those who share their first instinct). There is even a sense of annoyance and dismay if someone is talking too openly and directly about issues of the first instinct. For example sx/sp would rather make sexual innuendoes instead of openly talking about sex. This is very different from sp/sx who will readily discuss such topics, much to sx/sp's discomfort.

    This applies to sp/sos and so/sps. So/sp is the one likely to openly talk about their prosperity: home ownership, recent acquisitions, trips and vacations to lucrative places, dining at expensive restaurants. Sp/so's as a rule don't openly talk about this but indirectly signal of it (via gift exchange for example). Instead what they prefer to openly talk about are topics pertaining to their second social instinct. One of my best friends is sp/so 6 and most of the time she talks about topics of social justice and politics (things like the poor state of our schools, the military-industrial complex, wikileaks, etc.) She rarely talks about sp-issues, and when she does it is only in very direct and immediate sense, when these issues directly concern her.

    It happens with any stacking. The second instinct is a flexible, explicit, creative area while the first one rigid, implicit, and approached in concrete manner because it is matter of life and death and primary neurosis for the person.

    What about intimacy: Kissing, cuddling, touching, sex, etc. How fast does that happen for the sp/so? From what I have seen, the sp/so is very uncomfortable with these kinds of things?
    It depends on their prior experiences and MBTI type. For some it happens very fast. One ENTP sp/so girl has recently admitted to me that she was even involved in group sex at a party. She has turned 20 this years but has already had a dozen partners, way more than I have had even though I value the sexual instinct. Unlike me, she is very susceptible to peer pressure. Sometimes I wonder if she has slept with this many guys because she wanted to, or because she wanted to be socially accepted or seen as cool by her friends and these guys. I also know of a middle aged married couple where the husband is so/sp and their marriage is an open one. They will invite people for spouse swap and threesome sex. The myth that that sp/sos and so/sps are prudes when it comes to sex seem to be just that - a myth.

    What is true of both sp/so and so/sp, however, is that they don't like excessively and openly talk about sx topics. If there is discussion about sex among my friends, the INTJ sp/so may drop a few comments then disengage like he doesn't find it too interesting. He can talk at great length about politics and economics, but very little about relationships and sex. He signals his affection towards girls by purchasing them gifts and anything their heart desires (and his current sp/so girlfriend seems to really like his approach). Establishing actual sexual relations was very quick for them - he strayed over at her place after the second week that they met.

  5. #35
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @sulfit

    Actually sp/so's prefer to not openly talk about prosperity. The first instinct is held too close to heart to be so careless with it. What people do instead is implicitly signal about their first instinct needs (and these signals are read correctly only by those who share their first instinct). There is even a sense of annoyance and dismay if someone is talking too openly and directly about issues of the first instinct. For example sx/sp would rather make sexual innuendoes instead of openly talking about sex. This is very different from sp/sx who will readily discuss such topics, much to sx/sp's discomfort.

    This applies to sp/sos and so/sps. So/sp is the one likely to openly talk about their prosperity: home ownership, recent acquisitions, trips and vacations to lucrative places, dining at expensive restaurants. Sp/so's as a rule don't openly talk about this but indirectly signal of it (via gift exchange for example). Instead what they prefer to openly talk about are topics pertaining to their second social instinct. One of my best friends is sp/so 6 and most of the time she talks about topics of social justice and politics (things like the poor state of our schools, the military-industrial complex, wikileaks, etc.) She rarely talks about sp-issues, and when she does it is only in very direct and immediate sense, when these issues directly concern her.

    It happens with any stacking. The second instinct is a flexible, explicit, creative area while the first one rigid, implicit, and approached in concrete manner because it is matter of life and death and primary neurosis for the person.
    I'm not sure about this. I know several sx doms that talk about relationships, sex, dating, etc constantly. However, what I did notice is that they didn't start talking about it immediately with me. They had to get close to me before they could talk about it.

    It depends on their prior experiences and MBTI type. For some it happens very fast. One ENTP sp/so girl has recently admitted to me that she was even involved in group sex at a party. She has turned 20 this years but has already had a dozen partners, way more than I have had even though I value the sexual instinct. Unlike me, she is very susceptible to peer pressure. Sometimes I wonder if she has slept with this many guys because she wanted to, or because she wanted to be socially accepted or seen as cool by her friends and these guys. I also know of a middle aged married couple where the husband is so/sp and their marriage is an open one. They will invite people for spouse swap and threesome sex. The myth that that sp/sos and so/sps are prudes when it comes to sex seem to be just that - a myth.

    What is true of both sp/so and so/sp, however, is that they don't like excessively and openly talk about sx topics. If there is discussion about sex among my friends, the INTJ sp/so may drop a few comments then disengage like he doesn't find it too interesting. He can talk at great length about politics and economics, but very little about relationships and sex. He signals his affection towards girls by purchasing them gifts and anything their heart desires (and his current sp/so girlfriend seems to really like his approach). Establishing actual sexual relations was very quick for them - he strayed over at her place after the second week that they met.
    I'm not so sure I believe this. Most so/sp and sp/so that I know seem to put sex, dating, relationships, etc on the back burner: they seem to come AFTER everything else. Most of them that I know really could give less of a shit about it. In fact, there are two threads on this site about what it's like to be sx last and both have people in the threads posting about what it's like to be sx last. They basically talk about how closeness, sex, and intimacy don't matter to them.

    However, in your interest, I will say this....

    There is a strong difference between just screwing a person and getting close to them. The so/sp that I know may enjoy sex everynow and then, but what seems to prove congruent among them is that they tend to keep people at an arms distance. Most of the sx last that I know say it's very difficult for them to get close to someone.

  6. #36
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    I relate to the so/sx style and can't imagine the reverse. Maybe I am so first.
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  7. #37
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    I am not even sure seduction is a part of my reportoire. If anything I seem to be pretty good at repelling rather than seducing people.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  8. #38
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    So/sx

    The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.
    I prefer to meet people in a social group setting, do not care about admiration, the rest works.


    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    Social moves to Self-PreservingThe social subtype will think in terms more indicative of the self-preserving subtype when selecting a mate. This is very important to insure the desired security that rank and social status can provide. The social subtype seeks a mate with a shared social vision and similar values. This is necessary to fulfill the desire for a mate that will join them in their activities. Therefore, a secure social position is essential. Much attention is paid to the potential mate?s connections, rank and ability to provide financial security. This subtype enjoys bringing others together, feeling that ?the more the merrier?. They are often adept at creating the center stage and often use their home for social events, gatherings and causes. At first the social subtype will spend more time one on one with the potential mate. Once the mate is in place, the social subtype will return to outside interests, groups and/or activities, ideally, this is with their mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their need for people, activities, causes and unwilling to share their interest in others.
    Eww, no.

    Would want to see if that theory holds up for other sx/sp, so/sx, and sp/so types, cause it doesn't for me. Then again, it could be because it seems to be based on stereotypical views of the instincts like being overtly social is the way So doms come pre-packaged.

  9. #39
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    I prefer to meet people in a social group setting, do not care about admiration, the rest works.




    Eww, no.

    Would want to see if that theory holds up for other sx/sp, so/sx, and sp/so types, cause it doesn't for me. Then again, it could be because it seems to be based on stereotypical views of the instincts like being overtly social is the way So doms come pre-packaged.
    Yeah that theory works for so/sp but not for so/sx.

  10. #40
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    They just seem so similar to me. However, it has been said by the enneagram institute that often times Sp/sx types will use Sx to meet self-pres needs, and sx/sp will use sp to meet sx needs. In other words, they use their second variant to satisfy their first variant. A perfect example of this can be seen in the movie, "Gone with the Wind". In the movie we have Scarlett O'Hara (Sp/sx) who basically marries Rhett Butler for his money: she uses her looks and sex appeal to meet her self-preservation needs. Then, we have Rhett Butler (sx/sp) who basically is a sugar daddy to Scarlett and just gives her money whenever she wants. So therefore, he used sp to meet his primary sx needs. Keep in mind this is all coming from the enneagram institute: I didn't make this stuff up.
    I wouldn't do either of these things. I would see giving people things as threatening my sp needs. And selling myself would threaten my sense of self preservation too.

    I relate to the sx/sp and sp/sx description most though. I can seduce people through a group, but I prefer to do it alone. And I can be intense and creepy and sexy, but I think it's more subtle than I think.

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