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Thread: The seduction styles of various enneagram variant combos

  1. #91
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    May 2009


    I must have replied to this thread already, but I'll add:

    Yes, one-on-one interaction only. When I'm in a group I will devise an ingenious plan to create the one-on-one situation, and it will be very intense and personal and the outside world is shut out completely. After that, I will run away and try to throw myself off a metaphorical cliff and if you come after me I'm yours...

    4w5 sp/sx EII

  2. #92
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    5w4 sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post

    I found it!
    Enneagram Instinctual Subtype and Pair BondingInterrelationship of Instinctual Drives
    A noteworthy point of interest with respect to the Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes is that the dominant instinctual drive (self-preserving, social or sexual) will shift to the other two subtypes as needed to ensure its influential role in this trialectic instinctual system. The way in which the dominant subtype employs the other two appears to be very specific and predictable. The dominant drive maintains the role of the commander in chief and the other two are channeled through its lens. Generally, this is very primal and often unconscious. This is especially apparent with respect to the human drive to seek a mate and pair bonding, but applies to all areas of life. If a relationship displays conflicting instinctual needs the dominant drive perceives it as a threat to security and acts accordingly. Confusion about the manner in which the instinctual drives manifest to create and maintain a sense of security is often the root of misunderstandings. Such disturbances in the instinctual drive are often the catalyst for seeking counsel or therapy.

    Self-preserving moves to Sexual For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm.

    Social moves to Self-PreservingThe social subtype will think in terms more indicative of the self-preserving subtype when selecting a mate. This is very important to insure the desired security that rank and social status can provide. The social subtype seeks a mate with a shared social vision and similar values. This is necessary to fulfill the desire for a mate that will join them in their activities. Therefore, a secure social position is essential. Much attention is paid to the potential mate?s connections, rank and ability to provide financial security. This subtype enjoys bringing others together, feeling that ?the more the merrier?. They are often adept at creating the center stage and often use their home for social events, gatherings and causes. At first the social subtype will spend more time one on one with the potential mate. Once the mate is in place, the social subtype will return to outside interests, groups and/or activities, ideally, this is with their mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their need for people, activities, causes and unwilling to share their interest in others.

    Sexual moves to Social The sexual subtype (one on one) will seek the greater world or social arena to find a desired mate. The sexual subtype is normally happy tucked away in a secluded setting with one significant other. However, when alone or in search of a mate, this subtype will behave much more like the social subtype. One must be with others to find ?the other?. Once the mate is selected, the social activity will be replaced by the dominant drive for time spent in union with the other one on one. At first the sexual subtype may spend time with the potential mate in the company of others. They become a pair even in groups. Then when the passion for deeper connection is ignited the sexual subtype will want to bond totally with their desired other. When the mate is determined, the sexual subtype will return to one on one style of relating. Ideally, this is intense time spent with the desired other or mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their degree of connection and intimately share their deepest and innermost thoughts.
    ?1996 Katherine Chernick-Fauvre

    And then there is this in 16types:
    Check section "Flow of Instinctual Energies & Compatibility":

    Flow of Instinctual Energies & Compatibility

    When we invest our energy, most of it is devoted to fulfillment of our primary instinct. The remaining energy radiates or flows onto the secondary instinct and finally onto the last instinct, which receives the smallest share. There are two possible configurations or directions for this flow. In first configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→sp→so→sx. This direction gives rise to three stackings: sx/sp, sp/so, so/sx. In the second configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→so→sp→sx, which gives rise to the other three stackings: sx/so, so/sp and sp/sx.

    Syn-flow: sp → so → sx → sp
    Stackings involved: sp/so → so/sx → sx/sp → sp/so
    Direction: Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human.

    Contra-flow: sp → sx → so → sp
    Stackings involved: sp/sx → sx/so → so/sp → sp/sx
    Direction: Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others.

    The two flows move in the opposite directions. This antithesis can be seen if the instinctual stackings are compared in pairs:

    so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving
    sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing

    sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting
    sp/sx - dulling, calming, quieting, grounding, descending, lowering, dampening, numbing, desensitizing, exhausting, deadening, extinguishing, making still

    sp/so - conserving, protecting, maintaining, preserving, supplying, repairing, sustaining, stewarding
    so/sp - utilizing, employing, implementing, expending, exercising, spending, capitalizing, expropriating

    It has been proposed that people of stackings that are part of same flow progression generally have mutually reinforcing and supportive interactions as they are channeling their attention, efforts and energies in the same direction. The stacking located upstream within the flow progression has the ability to cover for the blindspot instinct of the downstream stacking, by this also reinforcing the energy flow of downstream stacking. For example: a person of sx/sp stacking is directing energy in the following manner sx→sp→so, in which case someone with sp/so stack can reinforce the sx/sp's weaker secondary sp→so link and support their social-last blindspot.

    The relationship between people of downsteam and upstream stackings within the same flow can be compared to relations of Benefit or Supervision in Socionics i.e. they contain elements of asymmetry; partners seem to one another simultaneously talented in some way and also somehow lacking.

    The individual of downstream stacking usually feels a measure of attraction for someone of their upstream stacking and attempt to get to know them. In they become close, the downstream stacking often attempts to provide for the upstream stacking through help and activities channeled through their secondary instinct (e.g. so/sx may try to draw out sx/sp out of their shell into the social sphere, by inviting them to partake in some social activities or introducing them to new people, sensing that sx/sp is too insular). The upstream stacking at the same time feels some kind of deficiency in the downstream stacking; this is reflected, first of all, in inflexible and overly emphatic focus on their primary instinct, which for downstream stacking, to the contrary, is an adaptive, flexible, creative area only of secondary importance; and secondly in lack of attention to their first instinct (e.g. sx/sp may feel like sp/so doesn't know how to creatively provide for their sp-needs and that sp/so is not emotionally lively enough for an sx-first). The upstream person, meanwhile, comes into awareness of downstream stacking's deficiency in their blindspot instinct which for upstream stacking serves as a creative area. If their relations are friendly, the upstream person will attempt to provide for the blindspot of the downstream person, guiding them away from committing mistakes and towards beneficial and constructive actions in this sphere (e.g. sx/sp will try to guide so/sx away from doing anything that may threaten their well-being, their health and livelihood, their self-preservation needs, and direct them towards greater sustainability and well-being). The downstream person is often reluctant about such help, since this is not something that they generally concern about, but at the same time feels inspired, uplifted, and invigorated by such blindspot support and infusion, since focus exerted on their blindspot instinct has the effect of alleviating the neuroses and insecurities related to their primary instinct fixation. If they are on unfriendly terms, the upstream stacking may openly chide, be critical and derisive of the weaknesses of downstream person in their last blindspot instinct, and look down on the downstream person for what they see as misguided and deficient orientation.

    Relations between stackings of opposite flows may feel attractive initially due to their novelty and contrast. However, in the long run, the interaction may feel somewhat boring, unrewarding, uncomplimentary, disorienting, correcting, stifling, and otherwise frustrating to the people involved.

    Relations between stackings of opposite flows with shared dominant instinct (e.g. sp/so-sp/sx, or sx/sp-sx/so) are usually most interesting and compelling at the initial stages. Both partners have the same primary drive and desire, which evokes mutual sympathy and respect. However, they soon discover that they tap into different spheres to try to fulfill this need due to differences in secondary instincts. Each will attempt to pull the other into the realm of their secondary instinct, but find that while the other person appreciates this invitation in at least for its novelty, they won't feel comfortable in this sphere and will retract, which at times will end in mutual reproaches and disagreements (e.g. sx/so complains that sx/sp is too insular, socially unaware and crude, while sx/sp will find fault with what they see as sx/so's social vassalage and disregard for privacy). It is as if both people agree on having to carry the same heavy load, but then end up pulling it into different directions, which evokes feelings of dissatisfaction and misunderstanding. Nevertheless, among the opposite flow interactions this pairing is usually the most attractive and frequently encountered one.

    Stacking of same but mutually opposing instincts (e.g. sp/so and so/sp) often have overlapping areas of interests and concerns and same area of disinterest and disregard (same instinctual blindspot). They may appreciate what the other person brings into relationship in terms of content and feel camaraderie on basis of having the same blindspot instinct (e.g. sp/sx and sx/sp may appreciate each other's disregard for the social convention and "lone wolf" approach). However, partners seem somehow elusive to one another. What constitutes the primary drive, desire, and concern of one partner, the other approaches in a creative, flexible, light-hearted way as something that is only of secondary importance. Thus while inverse stackings can sense their similarity, at the same time they constantly unbalance and throw each other off. Since they are channeling their attention and energies in the opposite directions, they may enter a cycle of mutual correction, extinguishment, and reorientation, criticizing the other for what they see as a misguided focus. Both of them might feel as if they are constantly pulling the rug from under each other's feet.

    Stackings that share the same middle instinct but not the leading one can be said to be most opposite in their orientation. If there is any attraction between people of these stackings, it usually forms on basis of overlap of areas that they approach flexibly and creatively due to having same middle instinct (e.g. sx/sp and so/sp may have involving discussion about fitness, home decor, and culinary topics). They soon discover, however, that their primary motivations and desires couldn't be any more different and are of no interest to each other, and thus part ways. In worst case scenarios, one of them will find the other disruptive of their primary orientation and try to eliminate or somehow suppress the other person.
    Sorry for the necro reply. Bookmarking for later personal use.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  3. #93
    Senior Member Array Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    Jun 2014
    6w7 sp/sx


    I'm sp/so and I work best in group situations. So that way it seems much more natural and I can have a sense of humor or show off a skill in front of everyone.

    In the past couple years, I've gotten bolder around my crushes and worked up the nerve to talk to them without other people being around, but being one-on-one feels awkward to me no matter who it is, so the fact that I like this person doesn't make it much easier.

    But I mean, with being a teenager, it seems like you meet potential boyfriends/girlfriends through your friends so you'd be in a group with them first.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Array The Great One's Avatar
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    Apr 2012


    I'd like to add one of the seduction styles. The Sx/sp 2 women tend to act like an innocent girl or a damsel in distress, when they are really a wolf in sheep's clothing. Almost anytime you see a black widow in a TV show, they are almost always the sx/sp 2.

    Sin City 2 Spoiler:

    Sx/so 2 men are often mistyped as 7w8's or 8w7's. Sexual 2 men are often the bad boys that are the kind of guys that women love, but women's fathers worst nightmare for their daughter's to get with. They are often very aggressive and have a slew of sexual conquests as well. A perfect example of a sexual 2 man would be the character Damon Salvatore from "The Vampire Diaries".

  5. #95
    Member Array Annaifiwas's Avatar
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    Apr 2014
    4w3 so/sx
    EIE Fe


    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Yes, sx/so seduction style is either intense and almost creepy, or it resembles war, it may make other people uncomfortable, not unlike a 48 hour scorpion mating dance.
    Ah, how brilliant XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    There's actually nothing quite like two sx/so together...but they can develop love/hate or unstable or abusive relationships with one another, I think, if they're immature or not careful.
    Was in a relationship with another sx/so a couple years ago... I tell you, those were 6 VERY interesting months
    "If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." ~ H. G. Wells
    "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C. S. Lewis

  6. #96
    I am Array Fay's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    4w3 so/sx
    IEI Ni


    I am so/sx and I don't really have a seduction style. Poor men must do all the work
    4w3-5w4-9w8 so/sx
    IEI-Ni Beta quadra

  7. #97
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    135 so/sp


    Sp/So are some of the most unseducive people out there.

    The only elements that can be trully seducive in this combination are "Social Mysticism", high walls that spark curiosity and stockpiled resources.

  8. #98
    Wandering Crow Array Krim13's Avatar
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    Jun 2015
    539 sp/sx


    So. Apparently the sp/sx are more likely to study at distance before they more actively decide to pursue, do to self preservation being foremost. . . hadn't crossed my mind earlier but aha. That's why other females I was interested in in the past ended up figuring many times that I wasn't interested in them when I was. I can't just jump in and pounce like some people can. Too cautious. Too risky. Need to test the waters, of which generally ends up a great test of their patience. I study. study. Then claim. If the opportunity hasn't predictably slipped away that is...

    And yes... One on one is my only way of anything like 'seduction'. I'm extremely private when it comes to showing much affection. Which also has bothered some.
    I may be on the side of the Angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them. - Sherlock

    Alignment: True Neutral

  9. #99
    Damn American Cowboy Array Reborn Relic's Avatar
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    Jan 2016


    Interesting, I'd match the sp/sx or sx/sp method of seduction the most, out of all of these. Not sure if I am or not, though.
    “Be careful, lest in casting out your demon you exorcise the best thing in you.”

    --Friedrich Nietzche

    I have a Johari again

    There are vices in government more destructive than natural plagues. An error of this kind depopulates and impoverishes a kingdom. If the most severe, the most profound speculation is ever necessary, it is in those public and problematic cases, where reasons of equal weight hold the judgement in equilibrium. -LSM

  10. #100
    Phoenix Flame Array cosmic royal's Avatar
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    Jul 2015
    5w4 sx/sp
    ILI Te


    Well then, you found out my strategy.

    5w4 4w3 8w9 sx/sp/so

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