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  1. #31
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I'm actually very self destructive and self sabotaging. I've been seeing a hypnotherapist about it actually. I have all of these crazy impulses to do random shit and they are really bad and could easily get me locked up in jail. Also, I do want strong passion in a relationship, and I guess that's the same thing that you would call intensity isn't it? I become obsessed with relationships when I am with a person, and often times get pretty damn clingy. I connect with a person really fast. Also, I've found that I don't have much control over who I "vibe" with, I just do and this also seems SX. It's almost like I have a key, and I'm trying to find the right ignition that the key fits into to. You don't think I'm sx last do you?
    I doubt you're sx last. It's hard to read you though... 6w7s are hard to read - so much vacillation... We're constantly springboarding off whatever externally arises. Hard to get a "pure" answer out of us. I'm just surprised by the content of your fears.

  2. #32
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    so/sx. you don't seem to have the focus, or self-driven know where you're at because you know what you want feeling. you seem like you'd like to shop around more. you also have a more scattered, diffuse, expectation-driven so energy. so/sx = best friend type, kind of whirlwind of energy style. most classically wooing type. sx you feel more clearly your own horsepower. it's less about the environmental context and more about unflinching direction, being more directly connected to and trusting yourself to focus on what you want.

    increasing so definitely adds a dimension of clinginess. they rely on the setting and the expectations of others to help them stabilize themselves much more so. who they are is a product of the roles they play more than what they want and where they believe they must go (group/social context/community comes first in defining the situation). that sense of belief that accompanies sx, that is both a mindless self-destructive competitiveness to be at the top and at the same time an internal felt sense of one's own destiny, puts my own definition first. in other words, from what i've seen, so likes to be in the heart of the game, to be on the stage, more than they know what game they ultimately need to play to fulfill themselves most fully. whereas sx more often ignores those factors, roles and expectations, to perpetuate its own purposes.

  3. #33
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    @the state i am in, really nice analysis.

  4. #34
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I doubt you're sx last. It's hard to read you though... 6w7s are hard to read - so much vacillation... We're constantly springboarding off whatever externally arises. Hard to get a "pure" answer out of us. I'm just surprised by the content of your fears.
    1. What makes you say that I'm not sx last?

    2. What surprises you about the content of my fears?

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    so/sx. you don't seem to have the focus, or self-driven know where you're at because you know what you want feeling. you seem like you'd like to shop around more. you also have a more scattered, diffuse, expectation-driven so energy. so/sx = best friend type, kind of whirlwind of energy style. most classically wooing type. sx you feel more clearly your own horsepower. it's less about the environmental context and more about unflinching direction, being more directly connected to and trusting yourself to focus on what you want.

    increasing so definitely adds a dimension of clinginess. they rely on the setting and the expectations of others to help them stabilize themselves much more so. who they are is a product of the roles they play more than what they want and where they believe they must go (group/social context/community comes first in defining the situation). that sense of belief that accompanies sx, that is both a mindless self-destructive competitiveness to be at the top and at the same time an internal felt sense of one's own destiny, puts my own definition first. in other words, from what i've seen, so likes to be in the heart of the game, to be on the stage, more than they know what game they ultimately need to play to fulfill themselves most fully. whereas sx more often ignores those factors, roles and expectations, to perpetuate its own purposes.
    I originally tested so/sx actually. Also if you believe in typing people based on energy, I definitely have the energy of a so/sx as well. I just wonder why I seem so into self preservation stuff if I'm so/sx?

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    1. What makes you say that I'm not sx last?

    2. What surprises you about the content of my fears?
    1. You're very focused on desirability and relationships. But I'm not sure you really have the sx-first energy. You're so conscious about sx stuff. When a variant is dominant... it's usually not that conscious. It's more just like it's coloring everything to an extent that it's almost in the background, if that makes sense. And ENTP sx-firsts, at least as far as I've interacted with them online, are usually more "raw" than you.

    2. That they seem very sp.

    I definitely have the energy of a so/sx as well. I just wonder why I seem so into self preservation stuff if I'm so/sx?
    Yeah, exactly.

  6. #36
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    I'm a 6 sx/so and this actually is covered more by my sx dom, but it makes me a very intense, passionate, social issue person. I also fail to understand why anyone in their right mind would want to live in a society without any safety nets at all, or without any sense of community responsibility, like it literally seems like the height of bad social foresight to me, and that people who think that way should probably be actively pushed out of major societal decisions.

    That's not to say I can only justify socialism, because I also respect moderate responsible conservatism as well; I have a hard time respecting the "social planning" of any individual who fails to see how you can't have social freedom without social responsibility.

    When I was younger I also thought that people who couldn't analyze social or cultural trends were "dumb." Obviously all smart people can see these things. LOLLERSKATEZ.

    In my personal life I think it just gives me an overall awareness of my social position, though I care about my intimate relationships and passions first and foremost, and social position will be utterly disregarded for those things (but those things only).

    However, since I'm not an so dom, I'm not constantly concerned about social belonging (or the intent to oppose groups).

    As a 6, though, I'm always going to want support. From somewhere. Usually more though from a belief system or ethical world view or a romantic relationship or close friendship first (sx first), rather than from a group (so secondary).

    I think I read that 6w7 sx/so also seems more like 4w3 (and I really do seem 4ish in some ways) because they're often concerned with their sexual status, literally, like they want to be seen as attractive and alluring...and I've worked many years of my life in some branch of adult entertainment, and I place a strong emphasis on the sexual attractiveness of my partner, rather than necessarily his status financially or "in the community"...though I have shown a predilection in the past to brag that I was able to secure the attention or relationship with a man that other women *wanted.* And it's always seemed more important to me that they wanted him because he was good looking and/or charming and funny and/or charismatic and witty rather than having some kind of showy financial or "stable social position" reason for being desired by other women (or gay men! ha).

    It sounds shallow, but it's true, and a lot of people probably don't even give a shit, it really mostly matters in my own head.

    A friend of mine recently did my full astrological chart and she told me I'm an "It Girl" because my Mars and Venus are both in Aries, and I'm perfectly aligned with Venus in Aries in degrees or something.

    Anyway that makes a lot of sense with what I've read about 6w7 sx/so women. There's a whole section in the Personalty Cafe enneagram section on how the variants apply to each phase of the enneagram, and in men and women, and I think you can read it without being a member there (for instance, if you're banned from there).

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    But I'm not sure you really have the sx-first energy. You're so conscious about sx stuff. When a variant is dominant... it's usually not that conscious. It's more just like it's coloring everything to an extent that it's almost in the background, if that makes sense.
    could you expand on this? how have you seen this manifest?

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    could you expand on this? how have you seen this manifest?
    The Great One always talks about sex and intimacy in an almost comical or slap-stick way. It really almost seems unreal, like it's important to him, but on some fundamental level he actually doesn't get it.

    I hope he doesn't feel insulted by that, but I'm sure he knows by now by comments other people have made, that's pretty much how it comes across.

    I don't know exactly what @skylights meant, what pattern she's noticed, but if she's right, so/sx would probably be right for him instead of sx/so.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    that sense of belief that accompanies sx, that is both a mindless self-destructive competitiveness to be at the top and at the same time an internal felt sense of one's own destiny, puts my own definition first. in other words, from what i've seen, so likes to be in the heart of the game, to be on the stage, more than they know what game they ultimately need to play to fulfill themselves most fully. whereas sx more often ignores those factors, roles and expectations, to perpetuate its own purposes.
    Yes.

  10. #40
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    could you expand on this? how have you seen this manifest?
    Yeah, sure. It's like when people talk about their dominant function being like tinted glasses - it alters your worldview so completely that you don't even always recognize it as being something separate. I'm a Ne-dom and see connections everywhere - but it took me until mid-college to realize that not everyone thought that way and perceived things the way I did. I just genuinely thought that was how brains worked. You can see it out of INTPs who wonder why everyone isn't just logical, and ESFJs who are baffled by people who carelessly disrupt harmonious gatherings. It's so intertwined in our thinking that we have a hard time recognizing it as something discrete - recognizing it as something. Before it being identified as something separate, it's always just been life.

    So, in the application to instinct variant, a lot of times with people it will seem like the dominant variant is just part and parcel to who they are, or how they see life. With forum members, it will show up a lot of times in their avatar, what they talk about, what subforums they frequent, how they talk, and what subjects they return to again and again. I don't claim to be able to identify anyone's dominant instinct in that way, but it's usually somewhat telling. At the same time, it's not usually a major focus in and of itself because it's so imbued that it becomes scattered. You don't usually see sxs talking about the nitty-gritty of sex - they talk about energy, longing, compatibility, need for stimulation. Sos don't talk about social groups as much as they notice shifts in contexts, trends, recent updates, what's changed lately, what it all implies. Sps don't talk about resources running low but instead how they need to take care of this, that, the other, how we shouldn't do this, how we need to address that. It's not usually a major focus, but it's like the line that connects a vast majority of their dots.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini
    It really almost seems unreal
    Exactly. It doesn't sound imbued, enlaced, an intractable part of him. Dominants are generally recognized as often having overwrought relationships with that instinct, which may manifest either as overblowing it or a sort of reaction formation to it (usually a bizarre combination of both), but it's generally so laced into oneself that it doesn't come off as being something apart from the self. Much the opposite - a lot of times once people figure out what their dominant instinct (or function) is, they start seeing it appear in life areas they haven't considered it before, because it never seemed "separate" before. It previously just blended into the background. But it doesn't seem like that for TGO and sex. It seems to be in a very conscious place for him, and that would be less indicative of a dominant.

    All of which still doesn't really account for the seemingly strong sp.

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